It's the middle of June
July around the corner
I was blessed last year
On having most of
My memory wiped
During/after the rebirth

But I'm aware of July
All hell broke loose that month
There was already a lot wrong
The spiral to the end had begun

Ovarian cysts rupturing
An unknown at the time
Stomach blockage
Mystery pain
Lots of hardcore meds

To kill the pain
Inadvertently set the
Next bunch of dominos in motion
July 8th
Was my hernia operation

Then I had two days
Of the scariest creepiest
Hallucination dreams
One could imagine

I've never been on
LSD or acid
Any drugs ever
But if you combine the two
That's probably what
It feels like

I didn't even realize
I had severe M.E.
Until my body started
To crash

Everything from that
Point on was a blur
Including the ER visits
Via ambulance

Until July 31st
When I stopped breathing
That I remember very well
Every millisecond of it

Now as the month gets closer
The worst of my life
Subconscious PTSD
Is starting to fire
Deep within my brain

Warning me to start
Feeling scared
Trying to show the internal scars

I know month 11 is where
Hell happened
But if it hadn't
Then August 1st
I wouldn't have been saved

I have to figure out
A way not to think
About the bad days in July
But pass through it as I
Try for my anniversary

People must understand
Symptoms of PTSD
Don't just occur in soldiers
But many others too

It is yet another
Part of an
Invisible illness
And I'm determined to
Beat all of it!