we decided to wait at the lobby, but wait we did little of, for as I sat on the couch I laid my eyes on an exceptional young man, one who possessed the finest features I had ever seen. he was the light of heavenly grace, the feeling in your gut that tells you he is more than he appears, he was a sculpture made by the hands of dead greek artists, a painting by Renoir, one which captured your eyes and did not let go of them. he was the kind of beauty that you wish to call your own, the kind that makes you hope deep inside, that he will notice you and even speak to you. and that's what I did as I admired him from afar, I prayed to God he would notice me, approach me, court me.

and as proof that a holy entity does resign above the bright British sky, he turned my way, or I should say, our way. he walked towards Paul and I.

"nice to see you're back Paul, and you must be uh Caroline?" he turned his attention towards me, I panicked losing all thought and breath.
thankfully Paul spoke before I could embarrass myself, "Caroline, she didn't wanna come, so I brought a friend. Joe this is Lesley, Lesley this is Joe."
he took my hand and gave it a gentle kiss, "pleased to meet you" he said looking deep into my gazing eyes. his way of speaking is elegant and flirtatious, it makes me feel weak on my knees.
"you too" I replied smiling slightly

next came the other two, Mick and Terry. Both very friendly and funny, both attractive in their own way.

we went up into their hotel room which neighbored mine and hanged for a while. the rooms were small and simple, the one in which the band was sleeping only had two beds which they had to share with the Sex Pistols. I could not imagine how eight 20 year old "punks" would sleep in there. I thought maybe I could invite Joe to stay in my room, but then again I'm not that kind of girl.

we accommodated around the room. Joe laid on a bed with his arms around his neck, making himself at home, I not sure if I should sit by him or just squat on the floor, stood there making a fool of myself. Paul pulled me towards the other bed where he was sitting, Joe took notice in this and smiled to himself.
"Don't be so shy, you had been fine on the way here" Paul said to me in a jokingly manner.
and he was right, but It wasn't completely my fault. it was Joe, he made me incredibly nervous. "Sorry I'm just quiet sometimes when I meet new people."

"where are you from by the way? your accent is American isn't it?" Mick asked.
"yes, I'm from California."
"oh and what's it like?"
"hot and windy"

we continued to talk, Mick, Paul and I. Even Terry would comment here and there as he flipped the pages of his book. But all through our conversation I kept glancing at Joe, if you want to know the truth. I hoped he would take interest, maybe ask me a question about ol' USA. but he had his eyes closed all the while, I concluded he must've been asleep.

according to what Mick said, the plans for the evening seemed to be wait for the Sex Pistols then head to the Black Swan for dress rehearsal and such business. But my stomach began to protest, I didn't wanna wait around all day, even if it was with four attractive British guys.

"and where are these 'sex pistols' anyway? we've been here for a while now," I asked
"this was expected of them, don't worry, they're always late" Joe replied glancing at me, then returned to his meditative position.

I thought I was doing fine, for a while I no longer felt confined by awkwardness but Joe's small action brought me back to my starting point.
I suddenly couldn't handle being in here anymore, not with Joe anyway. I don't know what it is but he causes me awful anxiety, he makes my hands sweat and my soul feel as if it was trying to escape my body. I've only known him for a couple of hours, what am I supposed to make out of all these sensations?

So I decide to stand up, Its better than sitting there pretending I'm not having an anxiety attack.
"I'm gonna go for a walk then, uh I'll be back in a while" I said making my way out of the room.
Paul stood up and so did Mick "Mind if we come with you? We're kind of tired of sitting too you know?"
but why? I like them but at this moment I just want to run outside and yell and punch someone in the face?
"sure, its fine by me" I said with the most subtle smile I could manage.