The Edge of His World (Chapters 1-5) - @Khenrietta
The Edge of His World (Chapters 1 - 5) by Khenrietta
Reviewed by AmyMarieZ
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Overview: The Edge of His World is a chicklit romance story with enough edge-of-your-seat mystery to hook even readers who aren't normally fans of the genre. Hilariously awkward Joselyn makes a fantastic and charming narrator, leading the reader through a Valentine's Day love story that's simultaneously heartwarming and hilarious.
Structure: The story is written in the first person present tense from Joselyn's perspective. This structure works well for this story, because the plot rides on the fact that the narrator does not know what is going on as she is telling the story. The reader discovers the mystery of Jamie, the strangest Uber customer ever, right along with her. This works well to build the suspense and surprise of the final reveal!
The author has also formatted the story with graphics and titles throughout the chapters. The lovely designs at the beginning and the end of each chapter add to the mood and feel of the entire story and give it a nice aesthetic element.
Grammar: The grammar is very well done. I did not notice any recurring grammatical issues, and certainly not anything that detracted from the story telling. There were a few tiny typos which I have pointed out inline. I also noticed a few sentences that were worded a bit oddly or in a way that was slightly confusing, which I have offered alternative suggestions for inline. However, all in all, the story has a polished feel.
Pace: I have no complaints about the pacing of this story. Each chapter presented new information that progressed the plot in an interesting way. Additionally, every chapter worked to build the mystery of what was going on between Jamie and Jo, driving me to want to read on more and more the further I got.
The pacing of individual scenes was also well done. The balance of dialog, description, and internal character thought/narration progressed every scene at a rate that made it easy to visualize in real-time. There were no points throughout the story where I lost the scene. Something that helped was that the transitions between scenes were taken slow, and there really weren't too many scene changes in general. Like a play, the story only a couple of memorable scenes: Jo's house, the car, and the gas station. The characters were constantly moving through the outside world, but the fact that the action remained within the car grounded the story and helped keep the pace constant and even.
Character Development: Character development was a definite strength of this story! I absolutely loved the depth, realism, and humor in the characters. I think Jo was my favorite, but each of the characters so far have had their quirks and characteristics that make them unique and memorable. Additionally, the fact that there are only a few characters introduced in the first five chapters of this story makes them all easy to become attached to by not overwhelming the reader and allowing each character time to fully develop. There are no excess characters, only what is necessary, and that works perfectly.
In this review, I will provide my thoughts on the two main characters, Joselyn and Jamie.
JOSELYN: The main character and narrator of the story, Joselyn, is a well balanced and believable young woman. The humor in her narration makes the story an absolute pleasure to read.
In the first chapter, Jo is shown interacting with her father before she goes off at midnight to drive for Uber and earn money for her studies as a University student. Her interaction with her father, a police officer, is heartwarming and refreshing. It is clear that she has a strong relationship with him, through the small ways they show each other they care. I loved the way Jo was concerned about her father's injury on the job, and also the way her father helps her fix her hair before she goes out because he knows it bothers her. The love between the two of them is shown genuinely and in a way that is touching without being over the top.
In the chapters that follow, Jo picks up perhaps one of the strangest Uber customers ever, Jamie. He offers her three million dollars to take him on a six hour road trip to Emerson Beach. When Jo first picks him up, her disbelief of the insane idea is shown realistically. She is suspicious of Jamie, and at first doesn't want to drive him.
Eventually, Jo decides she may as well make the trip, considering how miserably bleak and boring the rest of her night is looking otherwise. During the drive, Jo's character develops further as she makes cringe-worthy small talk with Jamie and awkwardly checks him out. I was almost dying of embarrassment for her when he caught her.
I had a couple of thoughts about Jo's characterization during the road trip. First, I thought that it might have made sense for her to think a bit more about the money he was offering her while she was driving. When he first mentions the three million dollars she is astonished, but then it kind of fades into the background. It might be realistic to have her consider one or two more times later in the trip that he can't truly be serious, or wonder if she is being tricked. Additionally, I think having her wonder about why he is willing to pay so much money to get there a bit more could add some more suspense.
Another thought I had about Jo's character, knowing where the story is going, was that it might have been cool to show her experiencing a bit of deja vu earlier in the story. Although, that's of course just an idea for consideration, because with a plot like this, you wouldn't want to give away too much too soon!
JAMIE: Jamie was irritating, but in a great way. He was frustrating because he was so mysterious. I really wanted to know his secrets and why he wanted to get to Emerson Beach so badly. It seemed like for three million dollars, he certainly could have afforded to get there more easily than hiring an Uber, so that made me even more curious.
The little slips Jamie made while he spoke were perfectly placed to build the suspense, for example when he says he knew Jo was lactose intolerant. As Jo figures out more about Jamie, the reader figures him out along with her. It seems as though the two were in some sort of relationship together, and then after an accident, Jo experienced amnesia and forgot him.
At first, it isn't clear that Jamie likes her at all, he just acts very strange. In hindsight, the fact that he seems like he is crying at some points during the ride make a lot of sense and are heartbreaking. He must still be in love with her, and she has no idea who he is. The fact that the story is told from Jo's perspective works really well to develop the mystery, and then tragedy of Jamie's character even further. Together, Jo and Jamie drive the story along. Their tragic love story forces the reader to want to read on and find out if Jo will remember, and if these two will get the happy ending they deserve.
Description: I loved the descriptions in this story. They are worked in with the action seamlessly, so the scene develops naturally without ever pausing the flow of the story. Some of the descriptions are absolutely stunning, for example the details of the town as Jo drives to pick up her customer, and the scene where Jamie and her sit at the gas station and look at the glittering hotel lights across the street. The scene at the gas station is particularly memorable because it is described in such a romantic way, yet at the time Jo does not know Jamie's importance in her life. It's interesting to think about how Jamie must be feeling throughout the story, particularly during a scene like this where he must be feeling extreme emotions about Jo, and she is unaware of all of it, including who he even is.
One small criticism I have with the descriptions is consistency, particularly with regard to the size of the towns Jo and Jamie drive through. For example, the town of Notriche is described as a "small town," yet there is a huge hotel with glowing lights across the street from the gas station where they stop. It doesn't necessarily scream "small town" to me. It might be worth developing the scene around the gas station and hotel a bit more, perhaps showing that the hotel stands alone among the smaller buildings, since the town is perhaps a place where people stop for the night on road trips, considering the fact that it is off the highway.
Plot: The plot of The Edge of His World was intriguing, mysterious, romantic, and all around thrilling. The first chapter starts off fairly simply with Jo talking to her dad about how she is going out to drive for Uber for the night. A bit of suspense is built with the dangerous encounter her father had that night on the job as a police officer, but the main driving force in this chapter is the characterization.
In hindesight, I might have liked just a bit more sense of mystery in the first chapter, perhaps by showing how her father knows about her amnesia without being completely obvious about it. There may be a way to hint to the fact that he knows somethings through his mannerisms alone. Another thought I had with the first chapter was that it might have left off with more of a cliffhanger if it entered right after Jamie arrived at her car, rather than including that in the beginning of chapter two. However, even without anything added, the first chapter presented an original story idea and a main character that was interesting enough to make me want to read on.
In the second chapter, the suspense builds when Jamie offers Jo three million dollars to take him to Emerson Beach, a six hour drive from town. At this point, I was hooked! I needed to know who Jamie was, why he was so desperate to get to Emerson Beach, and why he'd hired an Uber to take him there, of all things.
In the chapters that follows, tension builds between Jo and Jamie. It is clear he knows something that she doesn't. Little clues hint to the fact that he knows more about her than she's told him. They are perfectly placed, giving away just enough to keep the reader's curiosity satisfied but not completely quenched, increasing the desire to read on and find out more! One that I really loved was Jamie's tattoo that has Jo's signature on it.
Throughout the first few chapters, Jo's poor focus while driving keeps the reader on the edge of their seat, concerned that she might become distracted and cause an accident. Eventually, Jo does make a mistake and crashes. This point starts off a whirlwind of intensity where Jo is injured, and memories about her past begin returning to her. Parallels are drawn between the present and the past as Jo recalls her relationship with Jamie, and how she tried to drive a car one night and caused a crash in the past.
By the end of chapter five, the reader knows that Jamie and Jo had a history together, but so many mysteries are still left open. Why did Jamie let Jo go when she had amnesia? Why does Jo not know that she has amnesia? Most importantly, do Jo and Jamie have a future together? I sure hope so! The romantic tension between them is just too much for them not too.
My only tiny concern with the plot is the consistency of Jo's timeline. For example, Jo is a university student, and yet she believes she has never left her town. It makes sense to me that because she has amnesia, she does not remember going to Emerson Beach with Jamie. However, as a university student, I would suspect her university would not be in the same town where she grew up. I might suggest clearing this up, perhaps having her instead note that she's never been to a specific town rather than never having left her own town, or explaining that she studies online or at a local community college.
Summary: The Edge of His World is a story with the capability to pull a reader in. The strong characterization, humor, and intense mystery of the plot keep the reader on the edge of their seat trying to figure out what is really going on. Set on Valentine's Day, it's no surprise that this story centers around a heartwarming and heartbreaking romance story of forgotten (and hopefully re-found!) love.
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