Talk to Me (Chapters 1-5) by skyharmonies 

Reviewed by _GinaLexis_ 

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Overview: Talk to me is a chicklit with a strong protagonist, a solid plot, and lovable secondary characters. The story begins when our smart protagonist tests out the waters of love in a competition for the academically gifted. She is instantly allured by a 'golden' boy, Amsyar and intrigued by a scrawny, shy boy, Sean. We feel immersed in her story as she rides the waves of teenage attraction and the embarrassment that accompanies it.

Title/ Cover: I have no qualms about the cover. The title however doesn't have any relevance to the story so far. I hope it becomes central to the plot soon.

Grammar/ Structure: The story is written in first person narrative and that allows for an in depth understanding of the protag. I found quite a few grammatical errors that seemed to jar the flow. I shall list them here for convenience.

· That's how I got the me, Ruth, and Ting into the gifted minds competition. Wrong structuring of sentence and extra word "the"

· On myself was a loose blouse.

· Overuse of the word 'really'

...which really looked more... looked really really stupid... I really couldn't tell... (All this in the same paragraph)

· "It's you!" I said delighting emerging in your voice (typo)

· ...on a tip to instead of trip (typo)

· I turned to Ting's and Ruth's direction – use pronouns instead of repeated nouns.

· Ting looked like she was about to puke – telling sentence

Pace: The pace of the story seems fine but the beginning is too abrupt. The start of the story has some narration, but the readers are given no clue as to when it takes place, i.e. if at a set point or at the time of the event. Also, there is no smooth transition between the beginning narration to the events of the story. It comes as a sudden blow and the absolute disconnect is not a good thing. I suggest making some changes there. I would also suggest giving additional information on where the protagonist is and for how long; and over the course of how many days the events take place.

Character Development: The first five chapters are not enough to judge the character development as the basic personalities of each are not yet set. But I do see scope for improvement in them and that is a good thing. I am still very intrigued by the characters that have been presented till now.

Amsyar is a golden boy but there seems to be more than that to him. Sean's quiet and helpful nature is obviously not what defines him. It is quite noticeable in the way he opens up to the protag. The protag herself is pretty rocking. She is smart, independent, driven and totally head over heels in love with 'love'.

The secondary characters of Ruth and Ting are fun to read, so is Amsyar's twin. Her opinions about the layers and layers that enclose her brother cause a lot of mystery. All of this sets a unique premise and I am willing to stick long enough to find out more as the writer explores that.

Plot: The description of the story succeeds in building a lot of excitement and the plot doesn't disappoint. The first five chapters still seem to be setting the ground work for the story so there is not much to say regarding the direction of the plot. Having read so far, however, I can say that it will definitely stand firm.

Vocab/ Description: If I must name one category that the writer excels in, no doubt, I would name this one. The descriptions of various people and things are on point. I can see them coming alive in front of my mind's eye and that is a job well done. The writer also uses various figures of speech like simile to add colour to the story and it works.

If I have any qualms, it is that at times too many details slow down the pace of the story and make it seem awkward. For instance, the times when the protag is busy describing every feature of the guy talking to her, it seems strange because my mind keeps telling me that he is waiting for a response. But, this can easily be corrected.

Summary: Talk to me is a story I would keep in my library. The smart characters, their intriguing depth and the sassy voice of the narrator make this an enjoyable read. If the story were to be proof read once, it would bring about the radiance of a polished metal worthy of being moulded into something beautiful.