Of Sun and Spirits (Prologue - Chapter 5) by riyamcyriac 

Reviewed by LeViNeFrEaK 

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Genre: Fantasy

Sub Genre: Sci-Fi

Title: Of Sun and Spirits

I think this title fits the book so well, being a story of different realms all clashing together in some way or another. It's original and catchy. I like it.

9/10

Cover:

With the main uses of orange, grays and blacks it gives me more of an oriental feel than fantasy. I'm not even exactly sure who the woman in the cover is... Definitely not Verona as she has dark hair. Having so many realms and main characters involved, I'd suggest maybe adding in some kind of characteristic feature of each of them... Either that or something a bit more 'fantasy' or intergalactic orientated

11/15

Blurb:

The summary is well written and really drew my attention. I re-read it after reading your book and liked it even more the second time around -- seeing that I could now relate to it.

10/10

Plot:

Having 3 (actually 4) main characters makes it difficult to actually follow 'a plot'. All I could make out so far is that they all had some kind of connection with the Blood Games

7/15

Structure:

Your structure and grammar is pretty good. Well done. I made some in line suggestions here and there to help you out. A problem to look at in the start with the boy's chapter you had a lot of tense disorders. Another thing is dialogue tags. I suck at them too, so I don't blame you at all.

8/10

Pacing:

Your story seems to go nowhere yet. As I've said, there isn't really a plot established yet that we can solidly follow. None of the characters run into each other's stories / chapters and I can't seem to make a connection between them except for the games.

5/10

Characters:

They're all so diverse and unique. You made it easy to like each and every one of them.

THE BOY - I'm unclear of who he is. Salvador gets briefly mentioned at the beginning then we don't hear from him again. Honestly, I hope he'll pop up again soon and hopefully, have some significant role in this story

VERONA - Up until now, she's my favorite. I really like her. You've written her as a solid, believable character. Her fight scenes are epic and her powers were so well described with the French dude, you had me in awe. I'd just want to see her reaction towards the 'spirit' of Lina more. You kind of just flowed over that part and it seemed so interesting.

KARDITH - Ah, the ex-soldier / family man. I liked him. The whole carnival scene was really well written and I could see it all in my minds eye. I'd like to know more about his back story, if you could slip that in along the way that'd be amazeballs.

AKURU - You had me at those cyborgs. I'm a sucker for things like that. I loved this character. His insecurities he hides so well while still pushing through to entertain people can only mean one thing - he's had a rough life. People love that kind of thing.

14/15

Miscellaneous:

You really have a way with words and painted your words so well I couldn't help but get lost in them. Well done!

5/5

Conclusion:

(suggestions & improvements)

As stated, I left some in lines that I really help might be of help. Overall, this book was a smooth, enjoyable and addictive read. Definitely recommend by me.

9/10

78/100