It was the most awkward thing in his life but his sister didn't seem to notice. She had made him dip in the bath and was scrubbing his back for him. She hadn't even looked away when he wanted to strip. He'd had to tell her to respect his privacy and close her eyes.

Instead, she'd rolled her eyes and said, "I have a husband, you know. His is way bigger."

They had both laughed at it and it felt good. They fought constantly that it was a surprise she was being so nice. Not that they hadn't had their good moments as twins but his memory was very selective, and the bastard decided to remember the bickering and fights. It felt good to remind himself that he and Regina could have a good laugh.

He arched his back.

"Stay still."

"Your scrub is very harsh, take it down a notch will you?"

"You stink of jail I need to be vigorous." She argued but she eased the scrubbing and started to play with the foam.

"What?" He asked.

"What?"

"Something's on your mind."

She placed the sponge into the tub and stood to wash her hands. He waited for her to dry her hands before repeating his question. He knew his sister so well to know when something was eating away at her, something that rarely happened.

The truth was, Regina seldom felt guilty but Regan did in double portions that he had to assume that when God was handing out the ability to feel guilty to the both of them, she stepped out of the line and he ended up taking both their portions. Even if Regan always acted like he didn't care, he always felt guilty. He wondered how Regina never did. Now, he could see the very thing eating away at her and he recognized it right off.

"Would you mind if Dad and Colonel came?"

He was taken aback by the question at first, but then his surprise turned into anger. His face became rocky hard and his lips thinned considerably when he said, "Yes I would mind. Very, very much."

Regina's face fell. "Why are you -"

"None of your business."

"But -"

"It's better you don't know."

"But what if -"

"It's for the best."

"Am I allowed to complete a statement here?"

"No. I want to bathe. Leave."

She sighed. "Regan -"

The doorbell rang interrupting them. Her eyes widened.

"Are they here already?"

"What "they"? What the hell did you do?"

"Relax. It's Mom and Blaire."

Regan's heart skipped. He had missed his son.

"I think." She concluded with a small voice.

He looked at her balefully. "I want to bathe."

She turned and headed out to the sitting room while he quickly rinsed off and dried his body, all the while thinking of what to say to his son. Would Blare still recognize him? He laughed it off. It was only two weeks, of course, he would recognize him. But kids forget easily. Not this kid. Not his kid.

Was he being paranoid? Yes, he was. But with good reason. Regan wasn't sure Blaire would welcome him with open arms especially because of their last contact before he had been dragged to jail. His mouth became bitter with regret and guilt.

Ha! The double portion.

By the time he worked a shirt and jeans on, he had already convinced himself that his son would hate him. But he had to brace for the storm. When he stepped into the sitting room, he was disappointed because he met only his mother and Regina.

"Oh, my son!" His mom stood and hugged him tightly. She ran her hands over his body and looked at him from head to foot as if inspecting for bullet holes.

"You look thin." She declared.

"You saw me two days ago." He brushed her off and walked to the window overlooking the streets.

"I know but looking at you closely with a mother's eyes - What are you looking for?"

He shot Regina an accusatory look. "She said Blaire was here."

She looked up from her mobile telephone and waved one of her hands adorned with rings. "His nanny is on the way with him. Heavens, how does this thing work?"

He still had time to think of what to say to his son. Would he start with an apology or a hug? Should he take him out for ice cream?

"His nanny has been a great help. I'm glad we hired her." Angel said.

Regina snorted. "We can have care of him ourselves. Hiring that black woman is a waste of money."

"And the expensive telephone you can't even operate isn't it?"

"Whatever, Mom."

"Erin's death changed everything."

The mention of Erin cast a gloom over the room that Regan began to regret he mentioned her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -" He broke off. "What I mean is -"

Angel placed her hand on his. "She was your wife, honey, it's alright."

"I miss her," Regina said quietly.

Even if he wouldn't admit it out loud, he also missed Erin and regretted so much the last conversation they had. He wished things had been different, wished he'd tried enough for their marriage and hadn't been damned invested in pleasing his grandfather rather than her. But what was the use of wishing? The only way he could do right by her was to make sure their son was happy.

The doorbell rang and Regan rushed off to the door, his best smile ready. The smile froze when he opened it. Standing there was his father and grandfather. The colonel was in his full Major attire while Conrad Walberg wore a suit. Just the right thing a pastor would wear.

"Care to invite us in?" Colonel asked.

Regan left the door open and walked to the window. There he stood, his back to them.

"Are you a vampire? Come in if you like." Regina said with a smile. She kissed them both on the cheek and shut the door behind them.

"Vampires are devilish creatures from the pit of hell, do not joke with them."

"Really Dad? Seriously? Is a sin to joke? Should I come for confession? Never mind I asked, your face looks like I just committed blasphemy and will burn in hell in the next second."

"I'll be praying for your soul."

She laughed. "Thank you. Pray for Reg too."

"I doubt Regan needs any prayers." Colonel said. "He seems to have got it all covered. Haven't you son?"

Regan wanted to grab his grandfather by the neck and choke him till his eyes popped but he did his best to be calm. He didn't want to prove to them that he was angry or afraid, in the least.

"How are you, Regan?" Conrad asked.

He turned around. "Fine without your prayers."

Colonel grinned at him. "You're still as feisty as ever, boy. I am so glad you are finally out."

"Are you?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Regan regarded Conrad who had asked the question with cold, grey eyes. "Are you really glad I'm out? Is that why you came? Or is there some other reason?"

"A father and grandfather cannot just drop by without an ulterior motive?"

"You never drop by. Aren't you very busy with your congregation, Pastor?"

"You will speak to your father with respect!"

His cold gray eyes shifted to his grandfather. "Respect is earned and the both of you don't deserve it."

After a few strained silence, Conrad stood. "I have a church service in about an hour. I need to leave. I'm glad you're out son."

"Go call your followers son," Regan muttered.

Conrad ignored him and left. The clicking of the door was like a slap to his conscience. Should he have treated his father that way? The answer came to him in seconds. If they cared they would have brought him out eons ago. Hell, he would never have been arrested in the first place.

"You should follow suit." He said to Colonel Martins.

The colonel relaxed into the sofa and crossed his legs. "And miss out on seeing my grandchild? No way. Get me a cup of coffee while we wait, will you, my princess?"

Regina was starting to move when Regan gave her a hostile stare that pinned her on the spot. He redirected it at Martins. "You will not lay a hand on my son. The last thing I want is for him to imbibe your evil ways."

"The same evil ways that fed and brought you up? The same evil ways that made you who you are today? Let me kindly remind you that without me, you're nothing."

"Hence the shitty situation I'm in. You went to a lot of trouble to prove that, thanks a lot."

Martins frowned, then scoffed. "You do not seem grateful, Regan. You are never grateful. You do not appreciate anything we do for you, you just go ahead and make assumptions and insult me."

"Oh, I'm grateful I appreciate the hell out of you. I just don't want it anymore. Pack all your gears, the whole kit and caboodle, and leave me and my son alone."

"Regan, please -"

"Shut up, Angel. When men are talking, you keep quiet. I thought I taught you better than that."

Regan gritted his teeth. "Don't talk to my mom like that."

"Why? She's my daughter, she cannot be offended." He looked at Angel and smiled sweetly. "Right Angelina?"

Her eyes lowered, and she nodded slowly and it broke Regan's heart.

How long had she been eating Colonel's bullshit? From the moment she was born? Probably. Regan would not be surprised that the reason Martins was that harsh to his only child was because she had been a girl child. He knew how much Martins had wanted a boy which was probably why he'd literarily adopted Conrad, even before he married his mom, and had made her marry him. Naturally, the marriage crashed.

Regan also remembered Colonel stressing that Erin had to give birth to a boy like he was God or something. He hadn't even tried to cover up his dislike for girl children. And now that Erin had given birth to a boy, he was doing all he could to worm himself into the child's life. Regan would rather die first.

He was as sure that the sun would set that Martins didn't give two fucks about Regina. He was only tolerating her because she was submissive and obedient, to a fault. Like, she had married a man twenty years her senior because Martins had insisted. What devilry.

"Why didn't I ever see the cruel side of you? Why was I blind? I fucking detest you."

Calmly, the Martins grinned and looked at Regan, head to toe. "You have piled on the pounds. Seems jail food is good for you." Then his smile fell. "So if you do not want to return, you will talk to me with respect."

"You put me there, didn't you? That's why you said nothing about giving me the order because you wanted me there."

Angel looked at her father in confusion. "What is he talking about?"

"Something he never shared with you," Regan answered.

"I thought I told you to keep mute."

"I'm sorry father but I can't! My children are everything to me. What is he saying about you refusing to answer?"

"Mind your business!" Martins yelled and raised his hand to hit Angel but Regina caught it in time.

"Please, Colonel."

He yanked his hands off and stood, just as Angel rushed off to the bathroom. Regan had seen tears glistening in her eyes. It was all he could do not to punch Martins till he bled.

Instead, he gritted his teeth, and with a voice packed with malice, said, "If you dare raise a hand on my mom or my sister, I will kill you."

Martins barked a burst of short laughter, then kept on laughing. "You killed hundreds already, what's one more to the list?"

Regan took a threatening step forward but the ringing of the doorbell stopped him. He was very close to wringing his grandfather's neck. All the fight left him when he realized it could be Blaire.

Regina had gotten to the door and before he knew it, Blaire and his nanny were being ushered in. Regan's heart stopped when he saw his son. Blaire had grown. It was two weeks, yes, but he had grown. He seemed taller. His hair was longer too. Regan's throat tightened.

"My boy." He whispered.

Blaire turned to look at Regan then lowered his eyes shyly. Regan's heart skipped. He was right. His kid loathed him. He could imagine what was going on in his head.

The nanny bent to Blaire's height and said, "Blaire, go say hello to your daddy."

Blaire let go of the woman's hand and walked up to Regan and said with a small voice, "Hello."

Regan stood there, unsure of what to do. He then bent and ruffled his hair. "Look at you. You're a big boy."

"Thank you."

An awkward silence ensued.

"Blaire!" Colonel said moving forward. "Come and give Granddad a hug."

Blaire raised unsure eyes at Terri Allen and when she nodded, he walked to Martins and hugged his legs. He lifted Blaire and threw him upwards. Blaire gave a frightened cry.

"Please!" Terri cried, equally frightened. "All due respect sir, but you can't throw kids that way. It could affect their brains."

The Colonel gave Terri an irritated and dirty look, more so when Blaire wiggled from his arms and ran to her. "What makes you think you are entitled to an opinion? Keep your filthy opinion to yourself."

"I am only doing my job."

"The only reason you have this job is because I allowed it. I don't want stains on my grandson."

"Don't make me laugh," Regan said with a high amount of sarcasm. "The reason she has the job is because she's qualified."

"You are only saying this to slight me. You do not mean it."

"Oh, in fact, I do. And she has a right to speak, she is not a slave."

"Her forefathers were. My father owned a few slaves."

"And you're proud of this?"

"Yes, in fact, I am."

Regan bit back his retort when Blaire walked up to him. "Daddy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I'm happy you're okay."

He scooped the boy in his arms and kissed him. "Thank you, Blaire. You're so smart. How did you know to say that?"

"Terri asked me to."

Embarrassed, Terri cleared her throat. "If I may? I would like to leave now."

"Is that you Terri?" Angel said emerging from the bathroom. "Thank you for bringing him here on such short notice."

"It's her job." Martins quipped.

Terri smiled. "He's right. It is. Goodbye."

"Thank you very much. Goodnight." Angel said.

"Yes, thank you. Blaire will spend the night with me, right Blaire?"

He shook his head vehemently. "I want to go with Terri."

"But champ, you can't stay with me."

His lips turned down and his eyes filled. "I want to go with Terri. Please, daddy? Please, please?"

It hurt Regan that his son chose the company of a stranger to his but with his brightest smile, he nodded. "Of course."

"Are you serious?" Regina said, speaking for the first time.

"Yes. He gets what he wants."

"You have spoiled him silly. He needs to be spanked now and then and be reminded of how to be disciplined."

"Mind your business, old man. Terri, could you take him please?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"We're sorry for the inconvenience," Angel said by way of an apology.

"He must be back in one piece."

"I won't eat him, sir," Terri replied Colonel, tight-lipped.

The moment she left, Regan turned on his grandfather. "Get out. And don't ever return."

"Regan -"

"Now!"

Colonel raised his hands in surrender and started to make his way out. Halfway to the door, he turned and said, "You'll need my help. I promise you will."

Regina stood and hung her purse over her shoulder. "You shouldn't have spoken to him that way."

"You too."

"What?"

"Both of you. Leave."

Bless her and her motherly intuition that knew he wanted to be alone, his mom picked up her bag and kissed him on the cheek, while Regina followed without so much as a goodbye. He just needed to be alone. He also needed a drink. Where had the damned alcohol been stored?

His life had plummeted and he felt miserable and would like to soliloquize and pour his frustrations into the lips of a bottle and its warm amber liquid. Worst of all was that he had looked forward to having a father-son night with Blaire, bonding and doing family stuff, but it had gone down the drain. It made him feel like a pathetic loser but honestly, he didn't blame the kid.

The rejection only made him strengthen his resolve to get his freedom and be a better father to his son.

~

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