Today's Mae's birthday.

I've ruined her birthdays in the past, and I'm trying not to today, but I already feel like I did. Even though they told me I didn't, I still feel like I did.

Like hell. . . I don't even know what to do for her birthday. .I normally try to make her something. . or do something with her. . But I don't know what to do. . and I feel like if I did something. . I would just make her not feel good. .

I'm fucking anxious and shaky, and it's making me be a negative asshole. . .  My god, it's making me want to cry. . .

What kind of partner ruins their partner's birthday. . . Like 2-3 times. . .

I guess me. .