WARNING!!! DEATH FROM AWFUL PUNS MAY BE A SIDE EFFECT OF THIS STORY.

Once upon a time, there was a guy named Rider. This man liked to eat happy little fishes. Because of this, the fishies would swim away from him.
Rider was very sad and hurt by this gesture, so he cried tears of hot fudge that burned his face. A dog came up to him and asked him what was wrong.
Rider explained his dilemma to the talking dog. The dog nodded in understanding and got a human to stroke his beard majestically.
"I can help you." He said. "But only if you give me a home for the winter."
"Okay!" Rider replied, agreeing to the plans.
The dog howled at the Sun, spun a 360, chanted in some strange language. He then turned into the fabled coconut shark and chased after the fish.
Rider watched, amazed. After awhile, the coconut shark returned and handed him a bunch of fishies.
Rider was overjoyed, so he bundled up the fish and returned to his home. BUT he had forgotten to take the magical dog with him. So the dog sent his TØP assassin to kill him.
The assassin came up to a house of gold, and was very surprised that he lived there.
Rider looked out to see the assassin dressed as Blurryface! The assassin drew his weapon, which had been forged in darkness, a pen!
His girlfriend looked outside. "What's wrong?" She asked. She didn't see anything because she was blind.
Rider described the odd situation to her. She thought about it.
"Hm...all this is giving me a...migraine!"
"That reminds me. I went to the doctor and he told me I had cancer." Rider explained.
"Nooooooo!" His girlfriend proclaimed, sinking to her knees.
"Tomorrow night is my last concert as well." Rider added.
"Woah!!" She exclaimed. "You're part of a band?!"
But the TØP assassin was getting tired of waiting. "NOT TODAY!" He yelled. He tore the curtains down and opened the windows. He made a sound and then stabbed the pair.
He then went to the kitchen and put a stopper in the kitchen sink for no reason in particular. He then left through the door so his soul wouldn't fall through the floor.
Rider tried to get to his bleeding girlfriend. As he held her in his arms, he muttered; "She's the tear in my heart."
She reached up and grabbed the pen. Then she literally put a tear in his heart and THEY DIED THE END!!!

I hope this makes you happy. *glares at a certain person*