I sink into the plush couch beside Maddie and rest my head on her shoulder. She's chatting with Natalie, an Instagram model from Chicago who I haven't really talked to all that much.

The whole Enlisted living situation is strange. Despite staying with them in the villa for over two weeks now, there are a few women I haven't gotten to know yet. Although I've heard all about Lila from poor Oliver, I don't think we've ever had a one-on-one conversation.

There's also Kylie, who I don't think has spoken to anyone. She spends all her time in the gym or on the beach doing yoga. I really don't know how she's still here. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure she's a great person, and she's definitely beautiful, but I haven't seen her interacting with anyone, and considering this is a dating show, interaction is pretty much mandatory to make it to the next week.

"Feeling torn?" Natalie asks sympathetically.

"Kind of," I groan.

"I hate list night," she sighs. "I want to put Hunter first, but he's such an effing gentleman. It drives me crazy."

"Is that a bad thing?" I laugh.

"Not at first, but when you've been hanging out for two weeks and he won't do anything past kissing, it's like, come on, you know?"

"Have you tried?" Maddie asks.

"Yup. He keeps saying he respects me and wants to take it slow," she huffs.

"Ew," Maddie sympathizes.

"List time!" Sarah hollers. I hadn't even noticed her walk in. "You have fifteen minutes. We'll meet at the cabana in an hour. Sound good? Great. Get to it."

I avoided Max and Elijah all day yesterday and today, saying that I was tired with a headache. After my heart-to-heart with Max on Wednesday, I could barely think.

But then, that night, I walked into the turquoise villa to see Maddie, Levi, Oliver, Serena, and Elijah hanging out, chatting and ignoring the comedy movie playing in the background. I sat down between Maddie and Elijah, and I just felt at ease. Maybe our connection wasn't as instant as the one I have with Max, but it's there.

Tonight, we're only putting down two names. That part is easy. The ranking is the hard part.

I sit on the stairs in the spot where Maddie, Noelle, and I wrote our first lists. I miss Noelle. A lot. I need to talk this situation out with my best friend. Maddie is great, and she helped me make a pros and cons list last night, but Noelle knows everything about me. She knows about my past, my quirks, the ins and outs of my personality. She'd know who to choose.

I should probably get used to solving my problems without her, though.

"Five minutes!" Sarah yells.

I squeeze my eyes shut, take a deep breath, and write 'Max', then 'Elijah'. In that order.

Maddie nudges me as we get into 'V' formation in the awkward goodbye ceremony lines. The cameras are already rolling, so I move my eyes as subtly as possible to where she's staring.

Then, I almost throw up on national television.

Max and Adriana are standing in the center. Holding hands. His thumb is moving up and down, massaging hers. Both have dazed, dreamy looks on their faces.

I swallow the bile rising in my throat as Danny begins speaking. "Welcome back to Enlisted. I'm your host, Danny Wilder. Tonight, we say goodbye to some of our beloved contestants before ending the night on a happier note. Three couples are headed to the couple's cabins right after we bid some of our friends farewell.

"Without further ado, let's share who has made it onto Enlisted's week three list. Levi, you're on the list. Serena, you're on the list. Oliver, you're off the list."

Maddie and I gasp. Elijah groans, and Levi bursts out, "What?"

"I'm sorry to say we will be saying goodbye to Oliver this week," Danny confirms. "Adriana, you're on the list. Elijah, you're on the list."

Maddie and I are on the list. The new guy, Finn, is on the list, but Tanner is off. Kylie is off the list, too, making me feel all sorts of guilty for wondering who's been putting her down. Everyone else is on, until Danny calls the last contestant.

Claire is off the list.

Her jaw drops. So does Julian's. Then, they go at it.

"How could you not put me, J?" she shrieks.

"Are you kidding me, Claire?" he roars back. "Of course, I put your name down. Don't make me the bad guy when you're the one who listed two other guys."

"I did not!" She stomps her foot.

I guarantee the producers messed with their lists, just like they did mine last week. I should be comforted that I'm not the only one they're manipulating, and I should be glad Claire is going home, but I'm not. Frankly, I'm pissed. Beyond pissed. I'm furious.

This might be a TV show, but they're screwing with real people's lives. People are actually falling in love on this set, and the producers are ruining relationships to fit the storyline they think viewers want to see.

"There's no such thing as an easy goodbye," Danny says, shaking his head. "Next on Enlisted, find out who the lucky couples who will be spending a romantic evening in our beachfront cabins are."

"CUT!"

A security guard drags a wailing Claire out of the cabana. Another one blocks Julian's path. Kylie spins on her heel and strides out the door. Oliver salutes us, bows, and strolls after her. Tanner, looking confused, mutters, "Later," and follows them out.

"Holy shit," Maddie mumbles.

"Neaten the lines!" Henry yells.

"We don't have all day," Sarah snaps two seconds later.

We do as asked, and Danny takes the stage again. "Welcome back, loyal Enlisted viewers. We said a tearful goodbye to Claire, Tanner, Oliver, and Kylie just now. We end the bittersweet evening on a happier note, by sending three couples to the cabins for a romantic night.

"Maddie and Levi, get excited for a second night in our couple's cabins. Natalie and Hunter, enjoy your first night together. Finally, the third couple spending a night in our cabins, is Adriana and Max."

And then Max sweeps her off her feet, dipping her into a dramatic kiss.

My eyes fill with tears. I don't even hear the director yell 'cut'. Maddie has to tap my shoulder to let me know that filming is done.

When I lift my head, I see Elijah staring at me, hurt swimming in his eyes.

I pull a Kylie, spinning on my heels and booking it outside.

I don't sleep a wink. How can I, knowing that Max and Adriana are fucking two nights after I bared him my soul?

I desperately want to believe that the producers manipulated his list, but deep down, I know that's not the case. They were holding hands. Their kiss was passionate.

I fell for his tricks again. Like an idiot, I believed him when he said he wanted to be with me. I believed that I was more than just an entertaining, fiery redhead to fuck and tease. I told him everything, all that I keep inside, because I believed we were having a real heart-to-heart.

I wonder if anything he told me about his childhood was real. Probably not.

And I ruined everything with Elijah because I believed Max's lies.

I expect the 8:30 a.m. knock on my door to be from Max. I don't know why. I shouldn't. He's with Adriana. Clearly, he found a redhead with less baggage. All he ever cared about was the color of my hair. He has no reason to come here.

I'm wrong, of course. Max isn't at my door. It's Maddie.

"Hey," she says softly. "Can I come in?"

I nod and push open the door.

"He's a piece of shit, Mia. You can do so much better," she growls.

"I told him everything," I whimper. "I poured my fucking heart out, and he chose Adriana. He said he wanted to be with me after the show, and he even..." I trail off, unable to stifle my sobs when I think about the job he offered. "He wanted me to work with him and travel around the world together."

"I'm going to kill him."

"Me too," I mutter, wiping my watering eyes. "I ruined everything with Elijah for him, and he wouldn't even tell me he was with her."

"I think Elijah will understand."

I shake my head. How could he? I completely fucked him over, and even if he did take me back, I wouldn't deserve him.