~ 1 Month Later ~

Katniss's P.O.V.

"You were only 8 weeks, Mrs. Mellark. There wasn't really a true sign of the cause. Sometimes things go wrong after conception. Too many chromosomes, or too little. And other variables too. Which in that case, leads to a miscarriage." The doctor explains to me.

I sit still in the bed. Looking down. I still will never unsee the blood. The part that was only left of my child. Even though it was all cleaned up. It is all I'll ever see.

"Could she had done something?" Peeta asks.

The doctor shakes his head no.

"Nothing could've been done. When this happens, sadly, the only thing to do is let nature take its course. And let the fetus pass." The doctor says. "But the good news is that this is very unlikely to happen again."

I could never get it out of me. No matter how they said it, how many times the reassured me... it was my fault. I was the cause of my child's death. I took them away from the world. And no one can ever tell me otherwise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The accounting moments of that day play over and over in my head. It won't go away. I'm scared. I feel like I can't. Why could we do this? How could I be so stupid to let myself be pulled back into this? It will only happen again. But now I can't change the act we did. I don't know if it is true... I can't be afraid to tell him. But I am. It's hit me again. I cannot do this. But I asked, and when something is asked, you shall receive. Things have been hard between us. I won't let him near me. Won't hardly speak to him. Which makes us hostile to each other. And I don't mean it. It's all the nerves and my worries. Which leads to long night that end fights and troubled hearts afterwards.

"You know what, Katniss? I'm done. I can't do this anymore tonight," Peeta says and signs, his shoulders sinking in defeat.

I see the fight drain from him.

"Not when you won't tell me what's wrong." He says.

I always hate this part. He just stops shouting and gives up all together. He's then act level headed about it. Then tell me he needed time to think. But I wish he would continue to shout. That is something I can handle. But him leaving is the problem. He always comes back. I know in my heart he'd never really leave me. He only spends the night at Haymitch's. Then he returns the next morning. He smells a little of white liquor and ready to talk. But tonight is a night I can't stand the thought of him leaving. My own thoughts are consuming me, swallowing me whole. I could feel that I would break with him gone. This fear I have had locked away for weeks is ready to take over.

"I'll be back after a while, okay?" He mumbles and starting towards the door.

My heart is beating wildly in my chest now. As I watch him about to leave.

"Goodnight." He says and reaches for the doorknob.

"I'm pregnant." I say. And I am surprised I didn't shout it at the top of my lungs. All the pressure of keeping such a fact to myself for weeks made me feel like I was going to burst.

Peeta whipped around sharply, and staring at me intensely. Like he couldn't believe what I had just said.

"What?" He asked, and his tone matched his shocked expression.

I get up from bed. I go to him. I hesitantly take his hand and move it to my small stomach. "I'm pregnant, Peeta." I say and breathe for the first time in a month. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his shoulder. I let the emotions out. I let myself feel.

"You're pregnant... Real or Not Real?" He simply asks.

I let him go and look up at him. I smile softly. "Real." I say.

He hugs me tight. "I'm.... I-I ... thank you. Thank you, Katniss." he says.

He lets me go. "I'm sorry.. I should've told you." I say and wipe my face.

"It's alright. I know this was going to be hard. I should've been... not so hard on you. And pushy, and harsh and rash. Not to the women I love. And who is carrying my child." He says.

"I know." I say. "I was so scared. I couldn't stop thinking of... when we... when I..." I trail.

"Hey," he says and grabs my arms. "It wasn't you. You remember that don't you? The doctor told us that things like that happen. And it won't again, okay?"

I nod.

"We should get some sleep. This night has been hard enough. I don't want you two to be hurt." He says and rubs my stomach.

"Okay." I say. "Will you stay with me?"

"Always." He says.

~

"No Peeta, don't do this! It's me, Katniss! Peeta please. Please try to remember!"

Peeta held a gun to my temple and his eyes were glazed over. He wasn't the normal Peeta. No, he was the one made by the Capitol to hate me. I am afraid. But I don't show it. I don't want to make him angrier.

"MUTT!"

"Peeta no! Don't do this. I'm pregnant. You can't kill your own child. Please Peeta."

My begging didn't work. I say his name one more time. Then he pulls the trigger.

~

"I'm not going anywhere! I remember Katniss!"

My own screams drown out Peeta's soothing words. I'm covered in sweat and his arms are tight around me.

I calm down. I break down in tears. I hold his arms that are around me and cry onto him.

"I-I-It was so real! Y-Y-ou killed us." I say in between sobs.

"It wasn't. Okay? I'll never hurt either of you. I swear. I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I say.

~ 3 Months Later ~

Peeta's P.O.V.

Katniss and I wait patiently in the hospital waiting room. She is going to get her first ultrasound. In the weeks since she has told me.. I've never been so happy before in my life. I never want to leave her side. And I cannot wait to meet this child of ours. I will love her or she no matter what. And Katniss more than ever. I know she was not for this originally. Since the loss of our first child. But I can see now, she's overjoyed. And practically glowing. Maybe from the baby, but maybe not. I just see this overall.. Beauty and kindness about her. Even though we are the only ones who know. We plan to tell everyone after this is done. In a subtle yet obvious way and invite them over too.

"Mrs. Mellark?" A nurse calls out.

Katniss and I get up and follow her. "Dr. Mangum will see you momentarily." She says.

Katniss sits on the exam table. I sit on a chair beside the table.

"I have a feeling it's a girl." I say.

Katniss gives me a look. "I know it's a boy. Just how they are in here." She says and places her hand on her four month stomach.

"Maybe we have both?" I say.

She glares at me. "Or not." I say and back off.

"Whatever they are, they are the only ones you're going to get. So be grateful." She says.

"I am eternally." I say.

"I know you are." She says.

There is a soft knock on the door. A doctor comes inside.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Mellark?" she asks.

"That's us." Katniss says.

"I'm Dr. Mangum. I'll be taking care of you Katniss throughout the whole process." She says and sits down beside Katniss. "So, you are four months?"

"Yes. Technically sixteen weeks. But months is easier to track." Katniss says.

"In most cases yes." Dr. Mangum says with a laugh. "Have you had any issues?"

"Not many. Only the common symptoms, and morning sickness with a vengeance." Katniss explains.

"And crazy mood swings." I say.

"Most common. Should be getting better soon. Any other concerns?" She asks.

"Not really." Katniss says.

"Alright then, now for the fun part. Knowing if this little one's a girl or a boy." Dr. Mangum says. "I'll be right back with the equipment."

I sit closer to Katniss. I feel her shaking.

"Someone is excited." I say and kiss her temple.

"I am." She says.

Dr. Mangum comes back into the room momentarily. She has a device and a screen.

"Alright now, Katniss. I'm going to have you lay back and lift up your shirt. This gel will be cold, I have to warn you." She explains.

Katniss follows her directions. Dr. Mangum moves the device handle around on Katniss's stomach. A loud thumping noise fills the room.

"Their heart is beating very well. And now for the unveiling moment... this little one is a.... Girl! Congratulations!"

'A girl.. a mini Katniss.' I think.

I look at Katniss. Her eyes are glues on the screen of our small daughter protected within her body. Her smile is so big. I haven't seen a genuine smile from her in a while. Which makes my heart soar. I can't wait to see what a beautiful daughter we have.