Gathered at Jungkook’s apartment, the seven boys drank and bantered blithely. There was a party every Saturday, but it was canceled this time, so they decided to hold their own little party instead.

Jungkook and Taehyung, who were sitting so close their thighs were squeezed together, chatted and giggled endlessly, as if shrouded by their own blissful bubble.

Jungkook roared with laughter at Taehyung’s next remark, and the other copied him right away, earning their friends’ full attention.

“What happened?” Seokjin asked.

Jungkook’s laughter diminished as he glanced at Taehyung. “He’s ridiculously funny too, not only handsome.”

“What?” Yoongi’s brows popped apart as he pinned him with a stare.

Jungkook’s smile died out of his face at the realization of what his mouth just spewed, and every inch of his body grew stiff. Taehyung wasn’t supposed to know he found him handsome, and of course, neither the others.

“Jungkook, are you low key hitting on him?” Hoseok asked with a grin.

“What? No!”

“Why?” Hoseok chuckled.

“Because it’s Tae.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Taehyung darted a glance at him.

“It means that I’m—that you’re not—I mean, we’re not on the same level.”

“Are you looking down on me?” Taehyung asked, a hint of playful affront lacing his words, which Jungkook couldn’t recognize by his anxious state.

“No!” Jungkook exclaimed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then?”

“I meant it, um, like, the other way around.”

“Which is?” Taehyung, of course, had figured out what he meant, but he wanted to hear it from him. He wanted to hear it and tell him how stupid it was of him to think something like that.

“You know what I mean, Taehyung.”

“No, I don’t.”

“He means that you—”

“Hoseok, shut up,” Jimin cut him off with a low growl. He anchored his attention on Jungkook and Taehyung, smiling. “Don’t mind him. Please continue.”

Jungkook disregarded his friend’s weird behavior and scowled at Taehyung instead. “How can you not know what I mean?”

“Maybe I’m stupid. Now say it.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Then why aren’t you saying it?”

“Because!” Jungkook’s voice burst from him with a loudness he couldn’t contain. “It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not embarrassing,” Taehyung scoffed. “It’s stupid. It’s ridiculous. How can you even think that about yourself?”

“Because it’s true.”

Taehyung peered at him with pure disapproval spilling from his gaze. “Have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror?”

Jungkook avoided his stare. “I don’t think I want to know your point.”

“You’re extremely beautiful, and you talk about me? I’m sorry, but you’re stupid if you don’t know that.” Taehyung reached for his bottle of soju, and a long sigh emitted from his mouth as he found it empty. “I’ll go buy some more soju. Do you guys want anything else?”

Taehyung didn’t think much of the bomb he just threw on them, but the other six didn’t seem able to utter a single word from their shock.

“I’ll take your silence as a no.” Taehyung slipped his jacket on and shuffled towards the door.

“Wait,” Jungkook said as he rose to his feet. “I’ll come too.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to.” With his jacket already on, Jungkook approached him, and they soon disappeared.

“Okay, what the fuck?” Jimin asked.

“Jimin-ah! Stop cursing all the time,” Seokjin scolded. “But what do you mean?”

“What do I mean? Is this normal between two friends? We always make fun of each other and call each other names. We never argue about who’s more beautiful.”

“Well, you do have a point,” Namjoon said.

“Guys, they’re just close enough to say these things. I don’t find it weird.” Seokjin shrugged.

“It’s not that weird, but it’s not that normal either. They do fight like a couple, though,” Hoseok said.

“Yoon, what do you think?” Jimin asked.

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re Taehyung’s best friend and you never talk.”

“Just because I’m his best friend doesn’t mean I know what he’s thinking. They do spend a lot of time together. But whatever is happening, it’s their business, okay? Stop overthinking it.”

 
A stifling quietness engulfed the two boys as they strolled towards the convenience store. Jungkook didn’t know why he joined him since he didn’t have a grain of courage to say something to him. Taehyung’s words had stolen all of it. He didn’t know he found him beautiful, let alone extremely beautiful. And although the revelation warmed his heart, it also made him awkward around him.

They arrived with the same silence enclosing them, and as Taehyung went inside, Jungkook stood beside the door, observing the various snacks. He spotted his favorite ones, and he grabbed them, then headed to the checkout. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket, but every movement halted as Taehyung placed a six-pack of soju on the counter and pushed his wallet down in a gentle motion.

“How much is it, all of them?” Taehyung asked.

“But Tae, let me—”

“Jungkook. Shush.”

After the cashier put everything in a bag, Taehyung paid, and they walked out of the store.

“You didn’t have to pay for me,” Jungkook mumbled.

“I know. I wanted to,” he copied Jungkook’s words from before.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

That damn silence swept over them again and it lasted until they reached Jungkook’s apartment. But Jungkook couldn’t stand it anymore. He spun around, his countenance gleaming with gloom. “Can we not be mad at each other?”

“I don’t know.” Taehyung crossed his arms and fixed him with a taunting stare. “Will you stop thinking these stupid things about yourself?”

“Maybe it’s stupid to you, but it’s the truth to me.”

Every sign of contempt burned out of Taehyung’s gaze as his arms withered to his sides. He closed the gap between them with a single step and nestled him against his body. “It shouldn’t be. You are beautiful, Jungkook.”

“Thank you.” Jungkook smiled at his words, squeezing him.

Taehyung drew back to bond their gazes. Their faces were so close he could feel Jungkook’s breath on him. His eyes dipped to his rosy lips absently and lingered there, as if they held him captive. His trance snapped, and a veil of strictness carpeted his traits as he stepped away from him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Taehyung cleared his throat. “Let’s go inside.”

Jungkook couldn’t decipher his cryptic expression or behavior, no matter how hard he tried. He twisted around and opened the door to his apartment.

“Yay, soju!” Hoseok cheered.

“You’re already wasted,” Seokjin said. “You shouldn’t drink more.”

“So, is everything okay?” Namjoon asked.

“Of course.” Jungkook smiled as he glanced at Taehyung.

Taehyung opened a bottle of soju and took a swig. He could be mistaken, but a few minutes ago, he was ready to kiss Jungkook. He was this close to kissing him. He didn’t know what the hell happened to him. It’s okay. He probably didn’t notice. Yes, everything is fine. His lies didn’t assuage his unease, and so he guzzled more of his drink.

“Stop doing that,” Jungkook whispered, leaning towards him.

“What?” Taehyung turned his head to look at him, but upon finding his face a breath away, he drew back.

“You’re overthinking. And when you do that, you finish a whole bottle of soju in under ten minutes.”

“Stop overreacting. I’m fine.”

Jungkook released a tsk sound in annoyance. He snatched the soju out of his hold and drank as much as he could in one go. His face screwed into a frown at the excessive amount, but he strove to endure it so he could get his point across.

“And what are you trying to do now?” Taehyung asked.

“What? This is how I drink.” Jungkook raised his hand to take another sip, but Taehyung laced his fingers around the bottle.

“Okay, I got it,” Taehyung sighed in defeated, then frowned at the chuckle that rang from the younger. “What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing.” Jungkook failed miserably to tame his outburst of laughter. He cracked up, folding in half, his mind already a hazy mess. He had drunk three beers before and one soju, and the enormous sip he drank moments ago only added to his intoxication. It was about time to start feeling that buzz that made him feel giddy.

“Oh no, don’t tell me he’s wasted too,” Seokjin said.

“I think he is.” Taehyung observed the still giggling boy with a fond smile on his lips.

“Maybe we should go. It’s late,” Namjoon said, and the others seemed to agree.

“Taehyung, make sure he’s okay before leaving, since you live five minutes away, please,” Seokjin said.

“I’m fine!” Jungkook chirped.

“Don’t worry about it,” Taehyung reassured, ignoring Jungkook’s words completely.

After saying goodnight, the five boys exited the apartment, and Taehyung riveted his entire attention on Jungkook. “You know you get drunk easily. Why did you drink so fast?”

“Tae, I’m fine! I just feel this little buzz. If I drink more now, I’ll be wasted. But I don’t want that since you’re here.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you always get angry when I’m wasted. That’s what Jimin had said. Or Seokjin. I don’t remember.”

“It’s true.”

“Why, though?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t like seeing you like that.”

“Jimin says when I’m wasted I say the things I’m hiding. Don’t you want to make me drink a little more?”

“No. If you have something to say to me, I prefer for you to be sober.” Taehyung espied how fast Jungkook averted his gaze, and mild creases flooded his forehead. “Is there something you’re hiding?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

“Do you?”

“No. Wait, I asked you before if you’re saying truths or lies when you’re wasted. Do you remember what you said?”

Jungkook played with his hands, his eyes remaining at a standstill on them. “No...”

Taehyung huffed. “Of course you remember. You said lies. Why did you say that if it’s not true?”

“Because that day I said a lot of stupid things and I was embarrassed, okay? Let’s just drop it.”

“Okay.” Taehyung reached for his soju, but Jungkook’s next remark iced him up.

“I saw it, just so you know.”

“What?” A sudden need to gulp overtook Taehyung, and he washed away the anxiety from his gut with a swig of his drink.

“The stare before. On my lips. I’m not sure what it was.”

“Me neither.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know—wait.” Restlessness pushed aside for now, Taehyung contemplated his face in depth. “You’re completely fine! Did you just fake to be drunk so the others would leave?”

The faintest of smirks tugged at the corner of Jungkook’s mouth. “Maybe.”

“Wow, never expected that from you.”

“I’m actually quite smart, you know.”

“I know.”

They held eye contact, their smiles fading away from their faces inch by inch. Taehyung licked his bottom lip unconsciously and sucked it between his teeth. The shift of Jungkook’s gaze to his lips restored his lucidity, and he whisked his head to the side. “It’s late.”

Jungkook drilled him with his eyes as a snort popped out of him. “I can’t understand your mood swings. One minute you’re the nicest and most caring person ever, and then you’re cold and distant and weird. Any thoughts?”

“You’re overthinking again...”

“Sure.”

“What do you want from me, Jungkook?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry.”

Taehyung detected the little pout that adorned Jungkook’s face, and he moved slightly, wanting to muffle him in his hug and wipe it off. He forced himself to cease his action and reclined in his seat instead. You have to stop, Taehyung. “Well, I should go.”

“You can stay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then.”

The room bristled with a torrent of unsaid things during the hush that enveloped them, both too scared to vocalize them.

“You never told me what happened with Youngjae.”

“There’s nothing to say. He kind of knew I wanted to break up with him for a while now, and he just asked me why.”

“Why indeed?”

“I couldn’t give him what he deserved. I couldn’t make him happy. When I talked to him, I realized I don’t know what love is. Isn’t it sad? I’m twenty-four years old, and I have never experienced love before.”

A sad smile spread across Jungkook’s face at the bitterness he perceived in his voice. “It’s not sad. It’s just life. A lot of people are older than you and still haven’t experienced love. Some may think it’s love when it’s not. You can’t find love. It has to come on its own. And yes, maybe that’s sad.”

“That sucks.”

“I know.”

“Have you experienced love?”

“I have experienced the in love part, like falling for someone. And for a moment, I thought I had experienced love too, but no.”

“How is it? To fall for someone?”

“It’s like a rush. You just feel a lot in a short period of time. It happens instantly or when you get to know someone you like better. You feel you want to see the other person and talk to them constantly. You think about them, you care about them, you get sad when something bad happens to them and feel awfully happy when they’re happy. I can go on, but I think you get the point.”

“I see,” Taehyung said, barely audible.

“Have you felt like that with Youngjae?”

“No, with Youngjae no.”

Jungkook’s vision narrowed on him. “Then with who?”

“No one.”

“Oh. With the way you said it, I thought you felt like that for someone else.” A wave of awkwardness threatened to overrule Jungkook, but he didn’t let it. He leaned his head against his shoulder with a sigh. “I’m so sleepy.”

Taehyung’s body clenched at the unforeseen action. He glanced down at him, and a ray of fondness budded inside him, easing some of his tightness. He looped his arm around him, caressing his shoulder.

They stayed in this position for a long time, with Jungkook having his eyes closed and savoring the closeness, and Taehyung marveling at his beauty.

Soft snores soon sounded from Jungkook, and Taehyung’s chest deflated with a silent sigh. “What are you doing to me?” This whisper escaped Taehyung’s mouth, as if sunk in a trance. He delicately shook him in his attempt to wake him up. “Jungkook.” Even at the call of his name, the younger didn’t react in any way.

Taehyung scooped him up on impulse and carried him to his room.

Jungkook stirred awake. “What are you doing?”

“You fell asleep so,” he said as he placed him on his bed as gently as possible, “I brought you to your bed. Do you have another blanket?”

“No, just sleep here,” Jungkook mumbled, too sleepy to discuss anything at that moment.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

Taehyung stayed silent for so long by his surprise that Jungkook fell asleep again. He wavered, considering his suggestion. If Jungkook was okay with it, though, why would he overthink this? He sneaked under the blanket, leaving a good amount of space between them. His gaze rested on Jungkook’s gorgeous, sleeping face until the very moment sleep conquered him.

⚜✳⚜