You can do it. You worked hard to get here. It’s your time now. You already failed two times. You can’t fail again. You can’t screw up. This is your last chance.

Today was a big day. It was the audition for the most famous company in South Korea for young boys who wanted to be idols. Everyone would do anything to get in here, but only thirty out of thousands of participants would be accepted.

Jungkook endeavored to lacerate the mantle of stress that had engulfed his whole existence since the moment he woke up, but nothing seemed to work. A sickening tightness twisted his stomach, mouth throughout dry despite the bottle of water he guzzled a few minutes ago, feet tapping against the floor unwittingly.

Why do I have to have so much fucking stress? You can’t screw it up again, Jungkook. This is your chance.

“Group fourteen. Please come in.”

The call of his group’s number echoed in his ears, stiffening his muscles even more. He arose from his seat and entered the room along with the other nineteen participants. They called their names to make sure everyone was there, and the audition started seconds later.

They began with a quick warmup, then went straight into the choreography. Only a few people were able to catch up, and Jungkook was one of them. He smiled with a sense of pride to himself as the first part of the choreo ended. He was happy with the result.

As the audition continued, some of them gave up and left, and the remaining twelve did their utmost to pull through. That one hour passed for Jungkook so quickly, as if it was just a minute.

“Thank you. The results will be out tomorrow. Next group please,” one of the judges said. The participants soon bowed and exited the room.

Jungkook’s steps were shaky when he got out of the room. He leaned against the wall to steady himself as the other participants walked past him. He inhaled a deep breath and blew out slowly, trying to ease his racing heart. It was exactly as stressful as the other two times he auditioned and failed miserably.

It was impossible not to have stress when he wanted something so much. Just having three people who didn’t know how hard he worked for this judge if he was good enough was stressful on its own. But this was how it was. No matter how hard you had worked for something, sometimes it didn’t pay off. Even if you were good enough, someone was better.

This is just life.

Hopefully, I did better this time. God, I’m exhausted. Jungkook straightened his posture and dawdled alongside the wall, going towards the changing room. His mangled thoughts and agony of the audition’s result had captured his entire focus, but upon entering the room, every thought paused, as if his brain malfunctioned.

A boy was standing at the other side of the room, wearing only his boxers. His hair hung over his forehead like a black waterfall, the edges blocking his vision slightly as he lifted his head to look at the intruder.

Jungkook’s eyes scanned his sinful collarbones, the sculpted muscles of his arms, and his shapely torso. His uncontrolled scrutiny was cut short, though, when the boy’s guttural voice pierced his ears with a twinkle of mockery.

“How long are you going to stay there staring at me?”

“I-I didn’t—I’m not—Sorry.” Jungkook spun around and bolted outside. He shut the door in panic and stood there, leaning his head against the door and cursing himself internally.

His silent scolding broke abruptly just seconds later when his wooden brace disappeared, and he found himself in the arms of the boy who opened the door.

“Are you kidding me?” the unnamed boy sneered, his grip around his waist tight enough to keep him steady.

Jungkook exploded out of his embrace, taking another peek at him, and hurried away without uttering a single word.

The boy eyed Jungkook quizzically as he ran away. He filled his lungs with calming air and released a sigh. His gaze tumbled to the floor and got stuck on what seemed to be a bracelet. It must be his, he thought as he picked it up. He observed the subtle, purple patterns on the thin bracelet and slipped it around his wrist.

Why do you have to be so awkward and weird? Jungkook repeated in his head while going outside to meet his friend.

“Why didn’t you change?” Jimin asked upon taking in his sweaty clothes.

“Don’t even ask,” he sighed. The image of the half-naked boy lingered in his mind, but he pushed it away with a shake of his head. “Thank you for waiting for me.”

“No worries, but you should change. We can’t go anywhere if you’re so sweaty, and sorry to tell you this, but a little stinky too.”

“Let’s just go to my place or something. We don’t have to go out.”

“Okay, but we have to wait for Seokjin hyung so—Oh, there he is.” Jimin waved at him from afar, but his brows drew together as he spotted four other boys with him. “Who are they?”

Jungkook watched them come closer and closer with equal curiosity until the faces of the four boys became clear enough. His heartbeat rocketed at once, and his stomach gnarled violently. Oh shit, it’s him. Shit, shit, shit—

“I s-should go h-home,” Jungkook murmured, taking a couple of tiny steps back.

“What? Why?” Jimin asked, baffled.

“Long story!” Jungkook whisper-yelled and tried to leave, but Jimin grasped his sweater and held him in place.

“Forget it, dude. You say you’re antisocial, but you’re just scared of meeting new people. You’re not going anywhere.”

“I fucking hate you—”

“Hey, guys!” Seokjin chirped, cutting Jungkook off.

Jimin smiled at him while Jungkook dropped his head and kept cursing inwardly over and over again as he cowered behind him.

“Hey, hyung! Who are they?” Jimin asked. His smile faltered as he realized Jungkook had taken cover behind him, and he threw a glance at his direction.

“This is Namjoon.” He pointed at him. “We were in the same group and we got to know each other. Funny story, actually, but I’ll tell you later. And these are his friends. Yoongi, Hoseok and Taehyung.”

“Nice to meet you! I’m Jimin.” He bowed. He peeped at Jungkook, who was still standing there awkwardly, hiding behind him. He put his hand on his back and pushed him forward. “This is Jungkook. He’s a little shy and awkward, but we love him,” he continued, earning a death glare from the younger.

“Nice to meet you,” Jungkook said, barely audible, as he raised his head, eyes grazing over the unfamiliar boys except one. He didn’t even dare to look at him after what happened.

Taehyung, though, stared at him with amusement and brought his fist over his mouth to conceal his chortle. He composed himself and cleared his throat. “Nice to meet you, Jimin and... Jungkook.” The vocalization of his name came through smirking lips, a mischievous glint flaring in his eyes.

Jungkook risked a peek at the sound of his name wrapped around that deep, mesmerizing voice. Mild annoyance quickly replaced the discomfort in his expression as he detected the boy’s smirk. That asshole is mocking me. Who does he think he is?

“Jungkook, why didn’t you change?” Seokjin asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Yes! Right! I should go change.” Jungkook vanished before anyone could respond.

“What’s wrong? It’s been a while since I saw him act this weird,” Seokjin whispered to Jimin.

“I know, right? Maybe this is a whole new level of his awkwardness,” Jimin chuckled. “Anyway, where do you want to go, guys?”

“Let’s go for some coffee or something. It’s been a long day,” Yoongi suggested, and the others nodded.

“Oh shit, I forgot my phone while I was changing. Be right back,” Taehyung said as soon as he realized his phone was missing. He left right away, scurrying towards the changing room. He couldn’t afford to lose his phone. He soon reached his destination and barged inside.

“Oh!” Jungkook blurted out by his scare as he hastened to cover his bare chest with his shirt.

“Oh, interesting sight,” Taehyung snickered. “But I actually came here for my phone. Have you seen it?”

Jungkook started looking for the phone, completely forgetting to put his shirt back on. “Oh, here’s a phone,” he murmured as he reached out to pick it up.

Taehyung took it and sighed in relief when he recognized it. Then, his gaze fell on the half-naked Jungkook and his lips twitched again into a crooked smile. “You know, it’s only fair if you take your pants off too.”

The realization that he wasn’t covering his torso anymore hit Jungkook like a tidal wave, and he made haste to wear the shirt he was holding. “Are you a perv or s-something?”

“If anything, you’re the pervert. You kept staring at me when I was only in my boxers.” Taehyung sent a wink his way as he approached him. “I was so annoyed I forgot to ask. Did you like what you saw?”

“O-of course not! Who do you think you are, anyway?”

“Oh, you’re stuttering. It’s cute.”

“Can you leave? I kind of need to change my pants too,” Jungkook responded, annoyed.

“Come on! I let you watch. You should let me too,” he teased, now standing so close to Jungkook he could feel his breath on him.

“No! Are you crazy? And just so you know, I wasn’t even looking, and you w-weren’t even that hot—I mean your body wasn’t so—I mean, you—Just go away!”

Why did he have to be so awkward? Why did he have to stutter and say things that didn’t even make sense? He hated it when that happened, and the worst thing was that he couldn’t control it. Stupid brain.

Taehyung chuckled, playful eyes swimming over his vexed countenance. He lifted his hand to his face and smoothed his thumb over the crown of his cheek — a touch so delicate as the caress of a feather. An electrified pulsation waved through the room as their eyes met, wringing all the vibrancy out of Taehyung’s smile. He wrenched his hand away and retreated in a hurry.

“I’ll tell the others you’re coming,” Taehyung uttered in a frosty tone and left the room.

Jungkook took a moment to comprehend what had just happened. What the hell was that? Does he like me? No, he doesn’t like you, Jungkook. Someone like him can’t like someone like you. He shook his thoughts away and changed his pants into clean ones, then headed outside to find the others.

🥀

Jungkook’s eyes often wandered towards Taehyung, who was sitting across from him, once they went to the cafeteria. He tried to absorb as much as he could from his beauty without getting caught. He’s so ethereal. So beautiful. I can’t believe someone can be this beautiful. He lowered his gaze at his thoughts. Maybe I should try to get to know him. Maybe he will like me.

“Jungkook? Are you listening?” Jimin asked.

“Oh, yeah, y-yeah, sorry,” Jungkook murmured.

“So are you in?” Seokjin asked with hopeful eyes.

Shit. In about what? Should I ask? What the— “Y-yes, of course,” Jungkook blurted out, interrupting his own thoughts.

“Wait, for real?” Jimin’s eyes bulged in disbelief.

“Um, yeah?”

“Never thought a quiet and awkward boy like you would say yes to go to a party this big,” Taehyung quipped. “Are you just faking it to be cute?”

Party? This big? What the actual fuck?

“No, he really is like this. He can’t help it,” Jimin said.

“So it’s settled. We’ll come by your apartment to pick you up at ten,” Seokjin said, clapping his hands in excitement.

“Wow, it’s actually the first time Jeon Jungkook agreed to go to a party without us asking like a thousand times.” Jimin’s remark pulled chuckles out of everyone except Jungkook, who was still wearing a mask of absolute confusion.

“Does he hate parties or something?” Yoongi asked.

“Well, kind of. He’s antisocial. His words, not mine,” Jimin answered with a shrug.

“Jungkook, let’s go get some more water.” Taehyung suddenly stood up, taking the younger by surprise. He observed Jungkook just blinked at him, unmoving, and sighed as he walked around the table. He grabbed his upper arm and lifted him to his feet, then dragged him to the bar, ignoring the curious stares their friends sent them.

“Do you really need help to get a bottle of water?” Jungkook asked contemptuously, trying to sound cool.

Taehyung’s jaw tightened in vexation like his grip on his arm, and he changed his course on impulse.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked in bafflement as they entered the bathroom.

“Why did you say yes to the party if you don’t want to go?” Taehyung folded his arms over his chest and stared him down.

“Who says I don’t w-want to?”

“Your face. You weren’t listening before, were you?”

A defeated puff of air slipped through Jungkook’s mouth. “No, okay? I didn’t know to what I was saying yes.”

“What were you thinking, then? You seemed so lost in your thoughts.” Taehyung neared him with a step, eyes glued to his face.

“I-I don’t remember.”

“Were you thinking about me maybe?” Taehyung took all of his personal space, forcing him to retreat. He pressed his palms against the wall on each side of his head, trapping him. “You were staring again. Just saying,” he whispered to his ear, sending chills down Jungkook’s spine.

“I wasn’t,” Jungkook breathed out, his lips hovering over the other’s neck. He smells so, so nice. Damn.

“Why are you lying?” Taehyung took his earlobe between his lips and sucked on it briefly — an impulsive action he himself didn’t know its source.

“W-what was that for?” Jungkook’s mind buzzed by the speedup of his heartbeat. He never thought he would have a beautiful boy like him pressing him against the wall and licking his ear just an hour after they met.

Taehyung retreated and focused his gaze on him, analyzing his flustered face. “Either way, come to the party tonight. We can have some fun.” He winked at him and took off, leaving a very bewildered Jungkook behind.

If he wants to play, then let’s play, Jungkook thought as a smirk bloomed on his reddened countenance. Normally, he wasn’t that shy, and he knew very well how to flirt. He was just awkward around people he didn’t know. It had been seven months since the last time he had sex, so he was a little needy, too. Of course he wanted to play. He just needed a little time to get comfortable with the other.

Jungkook returned to the table and laid his eyes on Taehyung at once, but this time, he was confident enough. He waited with a sly smile on his face until he would get Taehyung’s attention. To his disappointment, Taehyung seemed too busy talking with Jimin about the party, so he didn’t even notice him.

He continued to stare, but little by little, his smirk turned into a pout as the other didn’t bother looking at him. He discarded his first unsuccessful attempt to earn his attention and called his name. “Sorry to interrupt, but where do you live?”

Taehyung shifted his eyes to him with the slightest of interest. “You interrupted our conversation so you can ask that?”

What the hell? Five minutes ago he was licking my fucking ear and now interrupting his conversation is too much suddenly? Jungkook crossed his arms and sank into his seat as he looked away.

“You can answer him, Taehyung. It’s not a big deal.” Jimin smiled as he caressed his shoulder subtly.

“I live in Gangnam.”

“Jungkook too!”

“Whatever.” Jungkook’s shoulders lifted in a shrug. He stayed silent with a stoic expression as he tapped the air with his foot. He hated how much Taehyung’s cold behavior bothered him and couldn’t handle it in the slightest. “I think I’ll go home.”

“Why so early?” Seokjin pouted.

“I want to rest since you’re dragging me to another party again, hyung.” His voice carried a hint of irony that made Seokjin chuckle.

“You’re right. See you tonight.”

“Bye.” Jungkook shuffled to the exit, not caring about the lingering stare on him from a particular boy.

He took out his earphones and plugged them into his phone. He trudged alongside the road as he listened to his favorite songs. He never went anywhere without his earphones. A walk or a ride on the bus was wasted without music. It helped him listen to his own thoughts more clearly. It helped him forget about the rudeness and cruelty of the people around him.

The stupidity of some people often surprised him.

A grab on his shoulder caught him off guard and wrenched a gasp out of him as he turned around to pinpoint the culprit. He took his earphones out, panting. “You scared the crap out of me!”

“You didn’t hear me calling your name. What was I supposed to do?” Taehyung shrugged.

“Maybe you should have left it like that. What do you want?”

“Why are you being so aggressive?”

“Are you really asking me that?”

“Yes.”

“One minute you’re licking my ear and the next you treat me like your worst enemy. I’m all in about the flirt and shit, but I won’t play this game.”

“Wait, flirting?”

Jungkook’s eyes widened momentarily. “What happened before wasn’t flirting?”

Taehyung tittered as he glanced away. “Look, I was just messing around. It didn’t mean anything.”

“Good to know,” Jungkook snapped back and pivoted on his heel. But before he could take a step, Taehyung snatched his hand again.

“Wait, Jungkook—”

The younger cut him off by wrenching his hand away from his grip. His eyes burned with anger as they nailed him to his spot. Then, he charged in the opposite direction and left for good.

Taehyung pulled his sleeve up to reveal the bracelet that belonged to Jungkook and traced it with his finger. I’ll give it back to him tonight, he thought, and headed back to the cafeteria.

⚜✳⚜

First edited chapter is out! It took me a long time to finish editing — I dropped it at some point, but I couldn't unpublish it. This book means a lot to me. I hope you'll this enjoy this! 💜