It was a known fact that bad things always looked good. But Axel. Axel looked a lot better than good. He was startlingly handsome. Heart-stoppingly attractive. Distractingly sexy.

He was tall with a strong, athletic build. He had bright green eyes, contrasting with his dark black hair. He had a prominent jawline and a voice that reverberated through my bones.

And he was bad for me.

That was what everyone told me. They kept warning me to keep my distance. But when he got close to me, all those thoughts ceased to exist. The moment his hot mouth met mine. The moment his hands roved over my skin. The moment his deep green eyes locked with mine. There was just something about him, something I couldn't explain.

And they didn't know him like I did. They didn't know he wore a mask. A cold, dark, spiteful mask that he only removed when he was with me. Underneath it all, he was warm, soft and sweet.

Axel was his name. Axel was the boy I was falling in love with. Axel broke down my walls. He got me to step out of my comfort zone. He saw the colours in me like no one else did. He made me feel whole.

But he was holding back, he was afraid of love, afraid to be vulnerable, and no matter how many times he denied it I could see right through him. Right through his second mask, the one only I could see, the one he hid beneath the cold mask.

I knew more about him than he thought I did. I knew his heart pounded as hard as mine when we were close. I knew his insides burned when I touched him. I knew he felt the same.

Or at least I thought I did.

Up until I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

And I'd never felt so broken in my life.

Never felt more regret for not listening to all the warnings.

Never felt so stupid for thinking I was different. For thinking I could change him and break down his walls. I had been falling in love but now I was only falling apart.

I had just been a fling to him, a seven-month-long fling.

It had been two months since he broke up with me. Two months since we last spoke. Two months since I felt his lips against mine. And yet, I hadn't healed. My heart still shook to the point of breaking every time I saw him. But I never understood why whenever I looked at him he was always already looking at me. Why everywhere I went he happened to be there too. Why he was playing with me. I wasn't some doll he could toy with, and I couldn't accept it anymore. I needed to heal, so I couldn't long for him anymore. I needed to move on.

So I did.

My best friend set me up with one of her classmates, Kyle, and I found myself enjoying his company. We weren't dating, but I found my heart slowly stitching together. I found myself thinking less and less of Axel. I found myself able to be on my own without breaking down, overwhelmed by memories of Axel. I found myself focusing on my studies again.

I finished revising my notes in English class and packed my bags, ready to meet Kyle at the café.

"Mhm, I'm on my way now," I said to him through the phone but before I reached the door it suddenly opened, and the smile I had on my face immediately disappeared. "I'll see you later Kyle, I've got to go."

Axel.

My bright expression turned dark at the sight of him, and I couldn't help but notice how he was struggling to maintain eye contact.

"Don't look at me like that," he said.

"What do you want?" I demanded.

"To talk."

"I don't want to talk to you, anything else?"

His jaw clenched, "are you over me?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

"Are you using this Kyle dude to get over me?"

"I don't use people, I'm not like you," I spat. "I don't lead people on only to tear them apart."

"I didn't lead you on."

"You did, because you've never felt for me the way I feel for you."

"Nadia, don't—"

"I hate you so much, Axel Grey, so much. And I hope someone breaks you as hard as you broke me."

And with that, I turned to leave but Axel grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, goosebumps shooting up my arms at the contact.

"You don't know how much I'm hurting," he said, and being this close to him, I realised he was shaking.

But I still said, "you're not hurting enough."

"I'm sorry," he breathed.

I shook my head, "why are you the way you are? What is wrong with you?" I demanded, pulling my wrist from his hand.

"I didn't want to hurt you," he said.

"But you did! Do you know how tired I got of listening to the sound of my tears? Do you know how much it hurt to know you'd never felt the same! To know that you used me?"

"I didn't use you."

"You did."

"Nadia—"

"Don't you dare say my name," I fumed. "And don't talk, look, or touch me ever again."

I turned for the door but Axel's next words stopped me short.

"I was falling in love with you," he said softly. I couldn't help myself. I slowly turned, facing him again. "And I was so scared. I know how vulnerable love can make someone."

"So you decided to crush my heart because you were afraid to fall in love with me?" I asked. "Good choice, great choice, actually, because now I know how selfish you truly are."

"I am selfish," he admitted. "And I'm so sorry."

"I don't forgive you, jackass!"

"I love you, Nadia!" he blurted, and I expected him to take it back, to clench his jaw and walk away, but no, he decided to do the one thing he rarely did, the one thing I always prompted him to do. He decided to speak about his feelings. "It scares me so much. I left you because I wanted to get over you, but I didn't. My feelings only grew and I hate myself for putting you through what I did and—"

"Stop talking," I sighed, but he didn't, and I felt them rumbling again. The walls.

"Like heat from a fire, you were always burning, and every time you're around, my body kept calling for your warmth, your touch, your kisses—"

"Stop—"

"Close your eyes," he said, but I only clenched my fists, willing myself not to listen, not to fall for him again, not to fall for his tricks. This was a trick, right?

"Close them," he prodded. "Trust me."

I didn't trust him. I didn't want to trust him. I couldn't trust him again. And yet, I found myself closing my eyes.

"Give me your hand," he said, and I did, despite myself.

He placed my palm flat against his chest and my breath hitched, both at the contact and the rhythm of his heart. It was pounding.

"Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand?" He asked, his voice delicate, on the verge of breaking."Do you still feel the same?"

The desperation and pain in his voice broke me. I shook my head, opening my eyes and removing my hand from his chest, "I can't feel like that again. I won't do that to myself."

"Nadia—"

"I'm sorry, but I can't," my eyes burned and that familiar ache and longing surfaced again. "You broke me so hard and no matter how much I love you, no matter how much I want to forgive you, I can't, I just—"

His arms were suddenly around me, and I realised I was shaking. So hard. And crying. So much. I was terrified. So terrified. But when Axel pulled back enough to look at me, there was something about his eyes. Something about the look in his eyes that had me going on my tip-toes and closing the distance of our lips.

I needed him. I needed him more than ever. And if only he'd hold me tight. Then we'd be holding on forever. Just him and me.

Axel and me.

Together we could take it to the end of the line. I could feel it. Our forever was gonna start today. Right now.

I used lyrics and got my plot from the following songs:

Underneath it all/ Eternal Flame/ Total eclipse of the heart