We arrived back to base a few days ago, but each night I was restless. I didn't feel like sleeping, I haven't slept in a week now. it use to be the norm when I was little, although I wouldn't sleep months on end. I was wondering in the dark around base, almost every one was sleeping. Every one was in there beds, some fell asleep at there computers or workstations, I kept wondering in the dark, I guess lost in thought. I had some bandages wrapped around my ankles, wrists, thighs, and waist, I had bad cuts there, they are still healing though. I have only black PJ shorts on with a black PJ sleeveless shirt on. I didn't bother with socks, the floor cold or not was comforting. I still had bandages wrapped around my right eye like the norm, I changed them yesterday, still no one asks why or pushes it. 

I was now at the hanger, the place dark and abandoned for the night. I cracked open the large doors just a bit for me to lean on and see the night sky. I just stared at the stars as the cold air didn't bother me, nor made me shiver, yet instead it was more comforting. I just haven't been sleeping ever since my dream when the battle was over, all the things that Could have happened. I frowned at those images that I had dreamed of, I was startled when it happened. Seeing that the Matrix not work, that Optimus was gone, that our world soon died out. I was there on the dark planet for months, I knew how it felt, I will shake this off eventually but still, until then it feels like purgatory. I know I get night terrors and bad nightmares...but these are ones I do not want to see again.

I just kept frowning lost in thought as the stars kept sparkling in the dark night, I had let a single tear go down my face, but I didn't bat it away. I let it slide as I felt what could have happen reach me, like I was being strangled, I felt pain in those thoughts, that every one I cared about die off. My dream was only a few hours but It felt like a century, one century to long. I was to lost in thought to hear heavy foot steps, but a heavy voice was all that was needed to wake me from my thoughts. "Tak? What are you doing out so late?" I didn't have to turn to know it was Optimus, "I could ask you the same thing?" I said gently, and then sighed. "But if you must know...I just can't sleep. My mind is wondering a bit to much, especially in the dark past." I said as my voice was cracking at the end, I had a few more tears travel down my cheek. I still didn't bat them away or move. 

"Dark past?....Would you like to talk about it?" Optimus said gently, I knew being a leader in a war must be tough, but I can't allow him to add me to his stress. "Optimus,...I just don't want to be another problem or add to the stress you must have." I said my voice didn't falter this time. "Tak. You will never be a problem, nor stress me. And I would like to know whats wrong, I may be able to help." His voice sounded...worried. I had more tears stream down my face, I had so much bundled up, I was stressed of it all. My mind was no help, all it ever did was bring me down, I just...I can't..take this...anymore. 'hell is in your mind.' I knew it was true, it's where you get brought down the most. I finally let all my walls come down, I couldn't keep this all in, after that last battle and these dreams, these nightmares....I have lost it. I sunk down to my knees and kept leaning on the hanger door, I had my hands in my lap. I wiped my tears away but more were streaming down my face. "Y-you know....I..I don't know whats wrong or how I feel any more....I just...I think I just feel conflicted...I..Just don't know." I said my hand was still trying to wipe tears and my voice was cracked. 

I didn't know when Optimus picked me up, and held me close to his chest gently, so not to squish me. I heard Optimus 'shhh' me a few times while I tried to get my sobs under control. "Tell me, Tak." That's all I heard from Optimus, I ignored a few other words but didn't care. "I..." I took a deep breath, I told him my story or life story, about my family, my mistakes, sorrows and pain, how every one only saw a monster if any one actually noticed me, but when I got to my new family. I told him about how I had to settle in and then waited for him to process before telling him about my..dreams. I knew my eyes must have been red and puffy, but I was finally calmed down. "Tak..." I knew he didn't know what to say, I said a lot of sorrow, my parents dying, my home taken, how I was on my own and was left with no one to care about me. That I had cut and closely committed suicide a few more times to many. "Tak, always know that now, you have people to care about you. I also care about you. you have been loyal, fighting for whats right and helping us auto-bots even when it wasn't your war. You saved my life twice and risked your life knowing the consequences. You are a special person that I'm glad to know." Optimus said, I looked to him and had a small smile making it's way to my lips.

He smiled back seeing mine,but it soon faded from my lips as I said. "I haven't been sleeping because of what could have happen if you didn't come back. My mind always seems to wonder to the...not so happy of things sometimes." I said softly, "I understand Tak, but just be glad it didn't happen." He said, I just now noticed something..."Wait?...Where are we?" I had my eyes narrowed and finally noticed our surroundings. "Where in my quarters." He replied, "I must have been oblivious when I was crying then.....Can I sleep here? If you don't mind." I asked, he just smiled, "No I don't mind." He replied as he laid down on his berth. (bed, or what ever. I don't know it means fixed bed or bunk. it's what every one else types down as a transformers bed.)  I was on his chest as his hand covered me and kept me warm like a blanket, I soon drifted to sleep, but this time...it was a good dream, which I haven't had in years...or ever.