I think we've all seen a 'Baby Avengers' fanfic before. Not that there's anything wrong with those, but it's the standard crossover (if that's the right word for it), perhaps tied with 'Animal Avengers' (I still can't decide whether Thor or Steve would be the best Golden Retriever). I just happen to like defying the norms, and avoiding a few cliché situations in the process. Of course you can't avoid them all, but let's see how far we get.

Either way, what if we made this whole experience a bit worse for Fury and whoever else is in charge of these heroes. Because babies can be annoying, yes, and toddlers too. But there's one thing infinitely worse than both together.

(hehe, I just had to)

May I present:

The Teenage Avengers.

-

"First day at high school," Maria Hill mused as the last of the Avengers (Pietro, ironically) was hustled out of the door towards the school, "I wonder who gets sent home first."

"Stark, I'm guessing," Stephen Ford grumbled, still not entirely haven forgiven Tony for that one time the billionaire had caught him playing Galaga and informed the whole Helicarrier.

"I think Thor," Maria replied, "his knowledge of Midg— I mean Earth — is still too limited."

"Does it matter?" Nick Fury enquired, taking in the mess on the kitchen table with an internal groan.

Maria followed Fury's gaze to the table and smiled.

"It'll get better, this morning was a bit of a rush."

"Well it's your problem," Fury announced, "I've got an entire Enforcement and Logistics Division of Strategic Homeland Intervention to run, so you two are in charge of the Avengers until Tony fixes this. I'm leaving."

Stephen and Maria exchanged a glance.

"And both of you are wrong," Fury shouted as he walked down the passage, "if anyone is going to get kicked out class, it'll be that monster Loki."

-

3 HOURS LATER

"I think someone's knocking on the door."

"We have a doorbell, Stef, why would they knock?"

"I don't know, I'll go open up. Still wanna change your bets on who it'll be?"

"No, it's Thor or Bucky, I'm certain."

"And you're so gonna lose. If anyone got kicked out of class, it's definitely Tony, or Natasha. Did you notice how strong her accent is? The first time someone mentions it, they're gonna get beat up bad."

"Well, why don't you go see for yourself who it is?"

MOMENTS LATER.

"..."

"..."

"I'm speechless," Stef announced.

"Bruce?"

Bruce Banner adjusted his glasses nervously.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I got kicked out of class. Am I the first one back?"

Maria and Stef exchanged looks.

"Yesss..."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing. Did you... Did the Other Guy..."

Bruce shook his head, and Maria sighed in relief. Her salary as a SHIELD agent wasn't very low, but it certainly wasn't high enough to rebuild a school with.

"Can I come in?" Bruce asked uncertainly.

"Oh, of course," Maria and Stephen chorused, stepping aside at the same time to let Bruce through. On their way to the kitchen Bruce explained what had happened.

"So first we had Chemistry. And as the teacher started talking, she said something about how the nucleus of an electrical atom was always,—"

"Bruce, please," Maria interrupted, "do me a favour and leave out the science terminology."

"Oh. Sorry. Anyway, what she said made no sense at all, I think she got her protons and electrons mixed up or something. And when I corrected her, she went a little but red, corrected herself and went on. But then later on she made a whole lot more mistakes... To sum it up, she decided I didn't need Chemistry, because I knew enough already. And well, I spent the rest of the hour working on my maths, so I didn't have anything to do in Maths class either. So I spent the Maths lesson..."

Stef raised an eyebrow, and Bruce stopped himself.

"Right, I'll keep it short. In the end I spent one of my lessons testing which subjects I need to actually follow and which I don't, and it turns out my French is hopeless, Spanish is a bit rusty and History and Economics could use some work. Geography, English, and Art I'm more or less on track, although I haven't had any Art lessons yet. Computer Science, PE or PT or whatever you want to call it, Chemistry, Biology, Maths and... I'm forgetting one more... anyway, those ones I'm excused from, because I'm too far ahead."

Stef raised his eyebrows as his eyes met Maria's once more.

"Well," Maria replied cheerfully, "then you can spend some time here working on a way to get you all back to normal."

"How am I supposed to do that?" Bruce enquired, his shoulders sagging.

"Look Bruce," Maria replied gently, switching on her 'mother voice' and handing him a cup of tea, "I know it's hard to fix something if you don't remember how you broke it."

"Or even what it looked like before," Stef filled in helpfully, earning him a glare from Maria, "What? They lost those memories, didn't they?"

"Technically," Bruce elaborated, "I can still recall most memories rather clearly, at least the ones Director Fury was kind enough to mention for me. I simply can't remember experiencing them as an adult."

"Geez, you sound like Vision."

"Speaking of Viz, how's he doing?" Bruce enquired, turning his questioning gaze to Maria, who shook her head slowly.

"He's... confused. He was mostly unaffected by the whole thing, except apparently his memory has been... altered. Not sure in what way."

"In a Hunger Games kind of way or a Divergent kind of way?"

"Clint! Don't scare me like that!!" Maria scolded.

"You're avoiding my question. If he ends up like Peeta imma say I told you so."

"How did you even get in?" Stef demanded.

"You left the door open," Bruce and Clint chorused, and Maria groaned while Stef smiled.

"Where's the others?" he enquired.

"Oh, at school," Clint shrugged, "I have a free hour, so I figured I'd come check up on Bruce. Heard he was thrown out in his third hour."

"I wasn't thrown out, I was excused," Bruce corrected.

"Same difference," Clint shrugged again, "what were you talking about?"

"Oh, just a few things," Maria dismissed it, grabbing another cup to pour some tea for Clint as well, "Tell me, Clint, do you... do you remember Budapest?"

"Of course I do. Otherwise Natasha would've killed me at least three times by now. She asks every other hour."

"Okayyyy... would you mind telling me what exactly happened there?"

"Sorry, no can do. Natasha checks that every other hour too."

Maria sighed again, a habit she was starting to accept as her fate.

"Well then, I suppose you two'd better start on your homework."

"But first," Stef suggested, "how about a game of Galaga?"

-

Okay, that was super fun to write. what do you all think?

If I feel like it I might make a Part 2, but it's open (like all the other plot ideas) for a complete fanfiction novel. So if you feel inspired and want to continue it for me, go ahead (and please let me know so I can read it too!).

A few more ideas you could incorporate;

◊ Loki at school sounds like a topic worth investigating

◊ A romance between Stef and Maria isn't impossible, although it would perhaps be cliché

◊ Tony and Bruce arguing about the best way to build the machine could be fun

◊ Budapest?

◊ Stephen Strange and Stephen Ford. Speaks for itself, doesn't it? And while you're at it, feel free to get Peter involved... and then I mean both Peters.

◊ Ultron isn't used much in fanfics. Go defy those norms.

◊ Agent Coulson babysitting Steve. "I'm not a kid, Phil."

◊ Who on earth is Bucky?

◊ Spidey, who was already a teen, freaking out when TONY FUDGING STARK shows up at his school. And not to teach or anything either, to learn. Suddenly Peter Parker is famous. How did that happen?

◊ Wanda and Pietro are probably already 17/18, so if you wanted you could make them even younger. As the preteen-avengers. Or toddler avengers, if you must be uncreative.

◊ Whilst on the topic of Pietro: I prefer pretending he didn't die in my fanfics, but that's technically up to the author. Same goes for anyone who dies in Infinity War etc. Basically; you don't have to obey the laws of nature. It's a fanfic.

◊ Some other [unappreciated] characters that might be fun to involve: Lady Sif, Jane, possibly Darcy, Aunt May, Pepper (why are these all ladies?), Odin (oh, there we go), Frigga, other Asgardians, The Guardians of the Galaxy, the Fantastic Four, I already mentioned Strange but I'll mention him again, Sam Wilson (Falcon), James Rhodes (War Machine), and Betty Ross.

◊ That's more or less it. If any of the readers have ideas: go ahead and comment them on this part. That way they'll be easy to find if someone ends up writing it. And additionally, if I make a part two it'll be easier to have the ideas in one comment thread. So bring it on!

-EvanlynTheAuthor

Over.

And.

Out.