"Laura!"

"Greg!" She struggles against the hold of both men, men that have served me in my time as leader. Only now they won't listen to a word I say. "Help me!"

"Don't touch her!" I pull on the rope holding my hands behind my back. "I'll fucking kill you! Get off of her!"

A gun is poised at the tip of her throat and Laura whimpers, eyes going wide. My face drains of blood and fear like I've never known it prevents me from breathing. No.

"This is what happens when you choose a whore over your own family," Father hisses in my ear. "You will not turn soft as long as I'm around, boy. Let this be a lesson."

"Don't do this," I beg. "I'll do anything you want. Father, please!"

He nods at his men and I let out a scream just as the trigger goes off. Laura crumples to the floor, her blood pooling around her like paint on a canvas. It would be poetic if it wasn't so horrifying because it's done. She's gone.

"No!"

"Greg!"

A gasp tears out of me and I sit up, throwing the sheets off my body instinctively. My entire body is a sweating and shuddering mess and I can barely get my breaths under control. Laura's arms go around me and I flinch, still on high-alert from what I now realize was a nightmare. A nightmare so real I can hear the gunshot even now, smell blood in the air. I want to throw up.

"It's okay," Laura whispers and climbs onto my lap. Her arms go around me and she holds me while I shake. Jesus Christ, she's fine. She's alive. Snapping out of it, I crush her to me and hold her like she might disappear at any moment. My face digs into the safe crook of her neck and the way I feel her pulse racing calms me down infinitely.

"I...I thought..." Words aren't a possibility right now. Everything is too overwhelming. I thought she was gone.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm right here." Her arms tighten around me and she kisses my temple. "You're okay. I love you. It's okay."

I barely register her words. My mind is fuzzy with the images of her being shot over and over again. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to think about something else. Like how warm Laura feels in my arms, or how she continues to place soft kisses all over my face, or how she just told me she loves me.

Wait, what?

I pull away to look at her, bewildered. I would not put it past me to have conjured up those words myself. I'm too out of it to be sane so there's a chance she didn't really just say those words. I search her face for a sign that I didn't just make that up.

She smiles at me, hands cupping my face with a tenderness no one has shown me before. "I love you, Greg. I'm not going anywhere."

I didn't make it up. She really did say those words. I swallow hard. "You love me?"

"More than I love painting. More than I love the rain. More than anything, honey." She leans forward to kiss me in a slow and controlled manner. It calms me and maybe that's her intention. She pulls away and sets her forehead to mine. "It's okay if you don't feel the same way. If you're not there yet."

"Crazy woman," I whisper, unable to believe what's going through her head right now. Doesn't she see it—how completely undone she's made me? "You've made me feel more free than I've ever been in my life. You...you make me feel like I'm flying."

A surprised laugh tumbles out of her followed by tears gathering in her eyes. "Flying?"

"Yes." My arms go around her and I hold her warm and bare body against mine. "I'm not falling in love with you, darlin'. I'm flying in love with you."

"Greg," She whispers hoarsely. She closes whatever measly distance remains between us with a tender kiss, one that's slow and full of promise. And I believe her. I believe all the promises she's given me.

What starts as a meek kiss becomes passionate within moments. The pace of our mouths pick up and the heat in my veins boils. Laura shifts in my lap and I groan because I can feel her wetness on my thighs and how she's ready for me. Without another word I lift her up by the hips and sink her down on my cock in one smooth motion. Laura gasps into my mouth and immediately starts rocking against me. My arm goes around her back to hold her in place as I lay back on the bed and take her with me. Her hair falls around us like a curtain, makes this moment feel even more intimate, and I kiss her harder. The feel of her breasts crushed against my chest and the way her hips lazily lift up and down on my cock are almost too much to bear. I can feel heat spark in my abdomen, warning me that climax isn't far behind.

My fingers slide against her scalp, her hair tangling between my fingers, and I angle her head to kiss her deeper. She moans softly when our tongues slide against each other, riding me faster. I grip her ass and help her move on me, my hips drilling upward  and hitting her as deep as I can go. It becomes almost too much and we separate to pull in air. Our foreheads stay pressed together as we both pant through the efforts of our fucking. She feels unbelievable. She feels part of me and not just in a physical sense. She's everywhere all at once and I'm drowning in her.

She places her palms on the bed and pushes up to look down at me. There's tenderness in her gaze as she sweeps my hair back from my face and slides her hand down my cheek. Her hips slow down all of a sudden and her movements become nothing more than leisure rocking. Our eyes stay locked. Even our breaths seem like they're in perfect synchrony. I watch as her pupils dilate every time I push into her, the black dots overtaking her baby blue irises. Her full lips part when I take hold of her breasts and pinch her nipples between my fingers. In return, her palms scrape down my chest and abs and she presses down on them while she shifts her weight up and down on me.

"Oh my God." A breathless cry tears out of her when my thumbs part her pussy and I use the sides of them to squeeze her clit. "Yes."

"Fucking beauty," I murmur, eyeing the way my cock sinks into her only to come out covered with her pleasure each time. I recognize the way her thighs tense from our first time. "Any second now, baby?"

Laura nods wordlessly, biting her lip. I can see the way she's holding her breath with anticipation. I press the pad of my thumb to her clit and draw circles around it while I pump into her. Her pretty tits bounce with each thrust I give her and I can't resist going up on my elbows for a taste. Her moans become louder, frantic, right before she pulses around my length erratically. Her screams are damn near deafening and my lips form a smile around her nipple, sucking harder. The way she squeezes me brings me in right after her and I bury my face in her neck with a deep groan when I feel the tip of my dick pulsing hotly, orgasming into her. It's even better the second time.

We fall back against the bed when it's done in a heap of tangled limbs and sweating bodies. Neither of us makes any move to separate but I don't think we want to. I know I don't. Instead I soak in the way it feels to hold her, the tips of my fingers gliding over her back in lazy circles. Her warmth is grounding and I think I could live in it forever if she'd let me.

"When do you have to go?" She finally whispers. The reminder of what is waiting out there for me is jarring. It taints this moment here and what we just shared. Laura must feel me tense up because she murmurs, "I'm sorry. I just wanted to know how much time I have left with you."

It's a statement that sounds more loaded than it should. It also gets me thinking because how much longer can I do this? I don't want to constantly sneak around and worry about her life being in jeopardy. A good man would leave, let her move on with her life, but I'm too selfish for that. Letting her go is out of the question. The question that poses itself now is what would I give to keep her? What price would be asked of me?

Everything, my mind whispers. Everything you've ever known. Your entire life would be the price. Are you willing to pay?

"Hey." Laura lifts her head, looking down at me worriedly. "Are you okay? I keep saying the wrong things, don't I?"

"No. No, nothing like that. I'm just...thinking."

"About?"

"You," I answer honestly, not wanting to scare her away with what's running through my head.

"No need to think about me if I'm right here," She grins cheekily. My chuckle is immediate and Laura's smile widens as if that was her intention.

I kiss her forehead and pull her head back down to my chest. The ends of her hair tickle my bare abdomen and I breathe in the scent of her shampoo. She's become so familiar to me. How can I leave her behind? But how can I leave my family? I just don't know anymore.

"Do you believe in soulmates?" Laura breaks the silence once again with her quietly asked question.
It catches me off guard.

"I can't say I do," I admit, not wanting to lie to her. "I haven't exactly had the best example. My parents were loosely acquainted, if that. I don't think they were ever in love."

She kisses my chest softly and wraps her arm around my waist. "Well, soulmates aren't just supposed to be romantic."

"Then what are they supposed to be?"

"Anything. I think all kinds of soulmates exist. Some souls are meant to be friendships that save you. Some souls make you believe in love. Some souls make you believe in love again when you've lost it. I think there's more than one soulmate for everyone. How can there not be, you know? We're surrounded by billions of people. I think it's up to us to open our eyes and learn from as many of them as possible."

"And what have you learned?" I hang on to her every word, oddly enthralled with the way she sees the world.

"My last foster mother taught me that you can forgive anyone, by taking me in when no other family would. A man in Croatia taught me it's never too late to find your passion, or so he said when he handed me my first paint brush and showed me how to use it. My best friend taught me that everyone deserves a second chance, even after I abandoned her in high school to hang out with losers that I thought would have my back. And you...you've taught me that I'm stronger than I think I am. You've taught me to love so deeply it's hard to catch my breath. So I have four soulmates."

My chest knots painfully at her words. "I'm one of them?"

"Yes." Her voice is a whisper. "Because you changed my life, as all soulmates should."

I don't know what to say. Laura's free spirit has always rivalled my grounded one. I only believe what I was asked to believe. Laura isn't like that. She challenges everything she's been told and sees life the way she wants. If I could be like her, my life would be very different. And I mean that in a good way. Her courage is astounding.

"How do you do it?" I finally ask. "How do you live for yourself?"

She pushes her weight up to look down at me, nothing but sympathy and understanding in her eyes as she her thumb swipes over my lips. "By being selfish. The world will make you believe you shouldn't but only because the world knows how powerful you'd be if you did. Don't let them shrink you, love. You're meant for so much more than you think. It's just waiting to come out and it's one of the things I love about you. I can't wait to see it happen."

"If it happens," I correct softly, shaking my head at her words that are too wonderful for a bastard like me. "You believe in me more than you should."

"You don't believe in yourself enough."

"I'm not who you think I am," I finally grit out. It makes me sick to my stomach that what she sees in me isn't true. She deserves the truth. "Laura, I've killed. I kill. It's my job. Have you ever heard of the South Bloods? I am their leader—a street gang that runs New York's underground crime system. We take care of debts that need to be paid, revenge cases, making money in the most criminal way. People pay with their souls to have us work for them. We are who everyone turns to when they need something illegal done. I oversee all of this and allow it to happen. So please, stop telling me I am good. I am dangerous, especially to you."

I couldn't bring myself to look at her reaction so I stare at the window instead, breathing hard. Part of me feels relief that there are no more secrets but part of me feels dread because I could have handled that better. My stomach bottoms out when Laura sits up suddenly and draws the sheets around her almost protectively. Her back is to me, shoulders tense.

"Shit." I sit up too, wanting to touch her but refrain myself. Have I scared her? "I'm sorry, darlin'. That came out wrong, didn't it?"

There's no answer at first. Without looking at me she finally asks, "So, it's true? What I read in the article when I first met you?"

She's asked me this before. The first time around she had no business knowing the answer but a lot has changed these past three months.

"It's true," I say hoarsely. "I should have told you sooner."

"You should have," She agrees with a whisper. The pit in my gut grows deeper. "But I also didn't push you to tell me because I always had a feeling about what you were caught up in. I just didn't want to admit it to myself."

Fuck, I wish I could rewind time to when I was inside of her and she was whispering that she loved me. How did I lose that so quick?

"Does this change everything?" I ask reluctantly.

She looks at me then, glancing over her shoulder with sad eyes she's clearly trying to fight. No poker face whatsoever, right? "Not everything. I can't help feeling the way I do even knowing the truth. But...it does change a few things. How could it not?"

"I know." I look away, drumming my fingers on the bed nervously. "What does it change for you?"

I hear her sigh before the feel of her warm cheek presses against my shoulder. It takes a lot not to react but I'm grateful that I manage to hold back my relieved smile. "The truth doesn't change my feelings. You're still the man I'm in love with. But I don't know that I can just accept this will always be your life. Even if it's your job and I'm sure you have reasons for...the things you do, I can't pretend it doesn't bother me. And what about every time you walk away and I have no idea of knowing if you'll get hurt? I think you're too good for this life. I think you have to meet me halfway and believe the same if you want this. Us. If you can't then...maybe this as far as we go."

Fuck. She's not really doing this, is she?

"Laura—" I croak.

"Just listen," She whispers and threads her hands through mine. They're so small yet they lend me more strength than I could ever hope to possess. "I know how you feel. I spent years of my life breaking myself apart to build myself up again and be a better person. But that was only possible because I knew I could do it. If I didn't then we wouldn't be here, Greg. Maybe I would've been a girl on the streets that got caught in the middle of your gang and maybe that's how we would have met. Do you see what a difference it makes when you put yourself first? I can't do that for you. You have to do it for yourself. Understand that I'm rooting for you but that's as far as I go, baby. The rest is up to you."

I know she's giving me the cold and hard truth. It's the first time anyone in my life has bothered to do that, cared enough to do that. It doesn't mean I don't break out into a sweat at the thought.

She climbs into my lap and holds me and it's only then that I realize I'm trembling. When she kisses my cheek, it feels like goodbye. "I love you. But that's not enough. You have to believe there's a better life for you. Until then I'll wait because you're worth waiting for. It's time to find yourself, okay?"

She starts to sit up and panic grips me, makes it hard to breathe. I grab her waist and hold her where she is, searching her eyes. "Just give me tonight. This night. And then I'll leave."

Her face becomes somber once again and she nods, arms going around my neck. We stay up until the room is bathed in the orange glow of the sun, until we hear the birds chirping, until my phone starts buzzing and reminds me that I can't put this off any longer.

And then I let go.

_________________________

A/N

*wails* *kicks shit* * pulls my eyelashes out* *sacrifices pet kitten to satan*

I hate when couples struggle. Makes me want to d*e. But this is something Greg has to learn. Leaving everything he's ever known behind is not easy (so don't be mad at him) and it's not going to come naturally so he has to really figure things out and learn who he is. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself.

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Happy Reading :)