Castle of Glass - Linkin Park

One More Light - Linkin Park

Warning: Self harm

Note:
I would be very careful for those who are reading the comment section, and I would advice to not even read it at all. It could be very triggering for those who went through abuse or a similar situation that Jimin went through.

For those who do decide to comment, I would be very very careful on your words in regards to this situation that's about to happen. There's people who are domestic or family violence survivors that could be reading this story, and it could be very triggering for them to read the opinions of others during this scene. Just be careful on how you express yourself.

Also, please.... Don't jump to conclusions or start hating on characters so quickly. There's still a lot to uncover, so please, breathe, read, take a break if you need to and then come back. Skip if you have to. Just.... Do what you gotta do to take care of yourself.

___________________________

The tension has been bubbling up as minutes by minutes continues to pass by.

And Jungkook is trying so hard not to completely explode.

Yoongi is here right now, and his giggling with Taehyung on the couch as they watch a movie in the living room is chipping away at Jungkook's sanity second by second.

It's not like he cares that the two are enjoying their time together, since they do that a lot here and they obviously are building a strong connection, it's more so that Jungkook is trying to focus on his drawing in the kitchen since he got tired of just being in his room, but since the kitchen is connected to the living room, he can still hear them!

Can they honestly take this somewhere else?!

Right when Jungkook was about to ask them to be quiet, it falls silent.

A complete silent.....

Peaceful silence.

Jungkook smiles in relief and was about to continue his work but sudden Taehyung's loud ass laugh shot through the air, forcing Jungkook to drag a brutal line across his drawing by how badly his body jolted to the unexpected noise.

Okay I'm leaving.

Now heavily irritated, Jungkook got his stuff and was just in the midst of marching out the kitchen until he heard something that made his whole heart drop to his knees.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

"You don't have to get me anything."

"Kid, it's literally tomorrow and you're not giving me a lot of options here. Come on, I want to get you something."

Jungkook's left eye twitches, letting what he just heard sink in.

Taehyung's birthday is tomorrow.....

Why didn't he ever say anything?!

They've been friends since literally the start of the semester and Jungkook most definitely would've remembered if Taehyung told him about this. Then again, they weren't exactly that close.... To start with. They didn't know anything about each other, only that they enjoyed sex and had the same humor.

Wow..... Jungkook didn't realize how blank his and Taehyung's friendship was until now.

They really don't know... That much about each other, huh....

Now Jungkook is more annoyed than initially as he approaches his room and slams the door shut behind him.

Like hell he's going to going having a friendship with a stranger.

If Taehyung wants to be his best friend, he will get a damn good ass best friend.

And Jungkook already knows the perfect birthday present to get for him. So with a giddy smile, he instantly gets to work on making something special for him

Meanwhile as he does his little project, Jimin walks out of his room at the same time Jungkook entered his. A small yawn pours out of his lips as he woke up from his nap, having a major whiplash when he noticed that it was six in the afternoon and he slept for four hours.

Well, not like he has anything better to do with his time anyways.

Just as he approaches the living room, he sees his brother being teased by Taehyung as he walks him to the door. Seeing these two is something that's both amusing yet slightly unsettling. Jimin knows Yoongi is growing heavy feelings for Taehyung and it's worrisome since Taehyung doesn't do..... Feelings.

Ever since Jimin met Taehyung, he knows that the man is like a closed gate. He may seem so open on the outside, but there's just so many layers within his personality that would drive anyone crazy to know exactly what he's thinking.

Jimin never pressured it since he never cared enough to dive into a deeper connection, but now as they live together, he sees that clearer now.

Who knows if his brother will be able to handle it.

He's just going to have to hope for the best.

"You're still here?" Jimin mumbles groggily towards him, rubbing his eyes. Yoongi perks the most widest smile on his lips as he walks to his little brother and squishes his cheeks.

"Aw did the baby wake up from a nap?"

This made Jimin send him a face before shoving his face back with his hand, bubbling a chuckle, "You're older by a year, calm down."

Yoongi couldn't help himself but chuckle at his brother, happy to see him much more comfortable with human contact even if it's just for a short moment, "Well I have to go check on Lucas to make sure he didn't burn the apartment down," And he gives Jimin a quick hug, "Text me you asshole!"

"You have a phone too! It takes two seconds!"

The two burst into their own laughs before Yoongi approaches a smiling Taehyung, who watches the exchange between the two brothers with adoring smiles.

It's evidently obvious how much Taehyung admires their relationship. Jimin can see it in his eyes whenever him and Yoongi interact, almost as though he's genuinely happy that they're this close.

Perhaps feeling nostalgic that he... Doesn't have that close connection with his own brother.

However, Jimin didn't really want to linger into that thought, so he just goes to the kitchen to get himself a glass of milk. It usually calms him down whenever he drinks milk, so hopefully after having a glass he can go back to sleep since he still feels tired.

It's incredible how Yeosang has slept literally all day. Not once has he woken up, at all.

Jimin has came to the conclusion that it's because he is now sleeping on a bed rather than a couch, and his withdrawals are subsiding as more time passes. Well the emotional ones. So he's getting the sleep he wasn't able to get before.

Which is cute to see him curled up in bed, but Jimin will be sure to wake him up later to eat something because sleeping for a whole twenty-four hours isn't exactly..... Good.

With another yawn passing through Jimin's lips, he pours himself a glass of milk, the light of the kitchen slightly rattling him awake. Then Taehyung comes into the kitchen, assuming he already walked Yoongi out the door, and offer Jimin a small smile.

"I feel like I barely hear from you these days even though we practically live together," Taehyung snickers amusingly, sitting on the barstool.

The smaller male glances up at him and snorts lowly, shrugging, "Since when do we talk? We were never really that close, only physically yet that always fooled everything. Nothing more to it."

Damn..... Since when did he have a tongue like that?

This made Taehyung whistle lowly, looking up at from from the counter, "Someone's getting snarky. Is Yeosang rubbing off on you?"

"He's actually been very nice to me, thanks for asking," Jimin couldn't help but defend him as he puts the milk carton away.

"Ain't that a surprise."

Oh he's not about to have a smart mouth about Yeosang in front of Jimin.

The audacity.

Jimin purses his lips, unable to suppress his glare as he turns to him, "Well unlike you he's actually there for me as I go through my tough time getting through what happened to me. So excuse me for the lack of empathy towards you since you just didn't really care about me."

Wow, this was unexpected.

Taehyung thought they were teasing each other, not for it to get personal.

This is growing a little intense, and Taehyung could feel his emotions start to lose its string from its steady record.

He sits up, perking n eyebrow, "And how was I suppose to know what was going on if you didn't say anything about it?"

"You could've asked? You saw I wasn't behaving the same way anymore, and yet that never bothered you."

Once again did Taehyung blinks at him, "I did. The first time I heard you crying in your room while the Jeon brothers were sleeping. You made me swore to not let Jungkook worry about you and that it was nothing. I took your word for it, what's the problem now?"

"You literally saw me crying and left it at that since then, never again asking about how I felt."

"Okay, I'm sorry. If you want to talk about it now, we can," Taehyung says back to him, focusing attentively, "Tell me how you feel."

Jimin teeth grinds as he puts the milk down, "It's a little too late now, don't you think?"

"Okay, I should've done better in the past, but I didn't because you said - I don't understand, why are you blaming me now?"

Now this made Jimin choke on air, not helping himself but grow slightly a little more uncomfortable to the sudden backfire to his face, "Are you saying that it's my fault that you didn't bother checking up on me?"

They're getting no where with this conversation.

Taehyung knows Jimin is carrying a profound amount of hatred and pain in his heart, especially in regarding to his situation with Joshua. Even if the man isn't around, he's still here in Jimin's head. If they don't tackle this matter from the root, it won't ever go away.

Taehyung's going to have to drill out everything Jimin is thinking and feeling without holding back.

Even if it'll hurt him.

Jimin needs to start being able to speak for himself against the knives people may through at him, but first he needs to break through his cage.

By completely breaking apart.

Taehyung eyed him carefully, a deep frown on his lips once he knew what he had to do.

Time to reclaim the villain title again.

Taehyung blinks at him, almost as though it's obvious, "If you did say something than it wouldn't have gotten to the length that it did. So don't start blaming me for something that was your decision."

Oh the way Jimin's hands balled on his sides, tears now beaming his eyes as Joshua's voice slowly began to be playing with his head, "Do you honestly think it's easy for someone to just admit that their partner is abusing them? Huh? Do you think it was easy for me to even talk to you without him breathing down my neck-"

"And who's fault is that?" Taehyung interjects back, "Not mine or Jungkook's, because he was damn worried about you. You decided to be with Joshua and not tell us what's going on. You let it get this far. The second you saw the signs than you should've just dropped it."

Jimin by now is fighting so hard not to get a panic attack the second Taehyung said his name, opening the door to many horrid memories that he tried to keep back. Now they're all over his face, filling him with self guilt and regret, making him feel completely and utterly vulnerable.

It's his fault right?

For getting abused.....

For being blinded....

Maybe he did deserve that....

No one saw the signs because of him, right? They're blinded until he says something, right?

Are friends like that? They don't see how upset you just by seeing you?

Maybe Jimin just had high expectations.

Jimin let's his tears run free, rolling them down his blotchy cheeks, "You're one to talk while still being close with Jungkook after that horrible fight you two had," he croaks, letting his voice quiver now, "At one point he was like me, and you were like him. You will never understand the position we were in, how could you? You don't feel shit and look towards your rage when you're upset, meanwhile Jungkook still forgave you because he still cares so much about you, even though he knows you will just hurt him again."

He really went there.

And he does not regret it.

Yeosang taught him to use his tongue when he needs to defend himself, to not just stay quiet.

And has taken that to consideration.

Taehyung's face falls, grinding his teeth together to hold back his need to throw something across the room, "Just like Jungkook, you also had a choice, but me and him fixed things after I said I would change. You could've left Joshua, but you didn't, not until Jungkook literally threatened you to do it. So now what? Blame Joshua for how you feel? Sure, he fucked you over, and you didn't stop him, you allowed it to happen. So don't start giving me excuses now."

Jimin's mind completely blanked out to utter shock, feeling his anxiety rising up higher and higher.

Can this really be his fault?

Would it be his fault how he didn't see the signs?

Would it be his fault that he felt afraid of his own life to say anything?

Is that his fault?

That he didn't have a voice anymore because of the constant harsh words that were said to him, making him fall mute to society because he didn't believe he would be heard?

How does Taehyung know if Jimin didn't fight back?

Was he there during the first fight, seeing how badly it emotionally wrecked him?

Was he there when Joshua threatened to try to put Jungkook against Jimin, telling him that Jimin wanted to have sex with him when it wasn't true?

Did he not hear how Jimin would demand for respect but then for Joshua to quickly throw it away, stating if he left him than that would just prove his point to what type of person he is, that he just wanted him for sex?

Jimin suffered...... He was manipulated, torn apart and somehow this is his fault? That he didn't try hard enough.

HE DID TRY!

He tried so hard..... And he always ended up hurt.... Every. Single. Time. And that's his fault? That someone can be so cruel to do this to someone else and leaving Jimin to only hope things will be different by the next day?

By now Jimin is seeing dark spots in his vision to the horrid flashbacks, his hands shaking so bad that he could barely even hold the glass of milk in his hand anymore as it slips to the ground, shattering to pieces on the floor.

Just like how he is now; just broken.

"Jimin!" Taehyung gasps, seeing the sudden reaction from the other male, "What-"

"You want to know.... What was the worst thing he ever said to me, Taehyung," Jimin shudders quietly now, his heart pounding so fast as more tears stream down his cheeks with his face remaining completely emotionless; almost like a dam just ready to break.

Taehyung frowns deeply, "Jimin-"

"He told me he wishes that I was dead," He whimpers out, his lips wobbling hard now, "That I should go die, and that no one would care, that I-I would be doing everyone a huge f-favor. HE made believe no one truly cared about me, that it was all just an act because at the end of the day, they wanted me gone. Tell me Taehyung..... Did I brought that upon myself? Was that something I could've put a stop to? For someone to see me that way to the point they wanted me to stop existing?"

There's no explaining how overwhelmed with emotions Jimin is feeling right now, and all he can hear is Joshua's voice.

The worst part is..... Jimin doesn't fight with it.

And he lets it toy with his head....

Lets it roam free.

To stab away every sense of that warm and safety he once had in his heart.

Now all he hears are those voice, and he doesn't stop them anymore.

Jimin aggressively wipes his tears away and steps back when Taehyung gets off from the barstool, "Maybe I do deserve what happened to me.... But did I deserve that? No. No human ever deserved to be told that-"

"Jimin-"

"LET ME FUCKING FINISH KIM TAEHYUNG!" Jimin screams, letting out a weak sob to pass his lips, "I've been tied like an animal to a man who fooled and manipulated me. You think it's easy to just walk away? To see the signs of someone you thought so highly of to possibly be the cause of why you're so empty now? No, you'll be blind because that what feelings does to you! Makes you blind to the fucking world! Worse if it's by the wrong person! You wouldn't understand because you were never abused in your life! And I would never wish that upon you but you would not understand how hard it was for me!"

Taehyung teeth gritted tightly, holding his tongue against such accusations. If only Jimin got a little glimpse of his life, he'd knew exactly what Taehyung went through.

Funny thing is, Taehyung never saw it as abuse, since he saw it as his parents loving and discipling him. He thought his parents scolding him whenever he cried was them cooing his tears away. That when they'd slap his wrists with a ruler while being tied up was their way of teaching him to not cry and be a man.

Feeling meant weakness.

Meant vulnerability.

To this day, Taehyung still doesn't see it as a bad thing.

Perhaps from an outside lens, he's a broken boy with a desperate need for a psychologist after all the shit he went through.

Jimin didn't notice how Taehyung is slowly moving closer to him, but the smaller male only grew more relentless to his chaotic thoughts, "I'm tired of people like you always getting to my fucking head when you don't understand! No one fucking understands how hell it is to have your whole world be completely shattered by the hands of a person who you thought loved you, or you loved them. You don't fucking get it WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE EVERYTHING RUINED BEFORE YOUR EYES AND NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOU WERE SCARED!"

That.... Struck too deep.

Taehyung's mother was the first person came to mind, and that completely tore his subconscious apart.

No. His mother did love him.

She never ruined anything for him.

He was never scared of her.

..... Was he?

Now Taehyung is in front of him, slowly placing a hand on his shoulders, "Jimin, I'm sorry you went through that-"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" Jimin screams back, his face now red in frustration and he suddenly began to strike his hard fists against Taehyung's chest, "You're just like him! All the fucking same! No feelings! No emotions! YOU FUCKING HURT ME!"

Jimin doesn't see Taehyung as Taehyung anymore, only as that man from his head that completely broke him apart.

All he sees is Joshua, who took his life and crumbled it as though it was nothing.

As if a human's life was nothing.

And Taehyung lets him.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" Jimin shouts with his whole chest, sobbing through every punch, "YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME BUT THEN YOU HURT ME! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU HUH?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS! SAY SOMETHING!"

Jungkook and Yeosang suddenly emerges into the kitchen the second they heard Jimin's screaming, and Yeosang was just about to intervene but Taehyung gives him a firm look with a hand out to not do anything.

To let.... Jimin finish.

Oh course Yeosang was not going to listen to him at first but the scream that escaped Jimin's lips was nothing like what he has heard before, and he froze in his place.

Jimin has had enough.

"Y-You fucked me up!" Jimin shutters, not seeing through his tears anymore, "I'm so afraid to be touched, to be close to anyone because YOU'RE IN MY FUCKING HEAD! AND IT FUCKING HURTS! EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT HERE YOU'RE STILL HERE!" Jimin's fists on Taehyung became more aggressive and his body is shaking so violently with so many running emotions he's been holding inside his heart, "FIGHT BACK! HIT ME LIKE YOU USE TO DO! CALL ME A DAMN WHORE AND A BITCH! RUIN M-MY FUCKING LIFE!"

His voice is so hoarse now, crying and sobbing through his fists while Taehyung only lets him with tears in his eyes. Jungkook is standing there with a hand to his lips, tears beaming his eyes in agony for his friend, never seeing him like this before since they've met. Yeosang has his fingers buried in his hair, head down against the counter as he hears Jimin complete break out everything he's been feeling.

So much pain....

A battle that he always lost to.

He's screaming for the months of repeated abuse he went through, finally being able to use his voice from the caging silence.

Jimin's fists began to weak against Taehyung's chest, hiccupping through his sobs, "Why did you hurt me?" He whimpers quietly, trembling like a small puppy before Taehyung's eyes, "Why didn't anyone see me? I was so alone....Why me? W-Why did you want me to die?"

Taehyung had to forcefully close his eyes, holding his own tears as those words stabbed vicious stabs to his chest.

Specifically to his inner child, who once screamed those similar words in his own lonely room after a beating.

Where he had to suck it in with every gripping touch he'd have on his wrist, vanishing those feelings away.

Now Taehyung can't touch his wrist, feeling so suffocated and losing touch with reality as it fades on and off.

He did this for Jimin, and now he's caught in the fire too.

Now he's sobbing against Taehyung's shoulder with tight shakily fists gripping his shirt. Taehyung his choking in his breath now, raising a hand to slowly comb through Jimin's hair softly, "I'm sorry Jimin."

Those words laced with much more meaning than what he wanted to show.

It's the words Jimin needs to hear from Joshua, his abuser, to be able to let go of this pain.

This is the small closure Taehyung can provide for him.

Perhaps even to himself too.

Jimin only shake his head whimpering painfully, "N-No you're not-"

"I'm sorry," Taehyung continues, wheezing through his lips as he holds Jimin tightly against him, "I'm so sorry."

Jimin shakes his head more violently now, suddenly pushing Taehyung off him with his mind only falling to one thing alone, "I can't take this a-anymore," And he suddenly he runs away, making Taehyung's heart instantly drop in fear.

What is he doing?!

Jimin cups his lips to hold back his cries as he runs to the bathroom and slams the door shut, locking it behind him just when he heard the bangs against it from Yeosang, yelling to open the door. There's so much buzzing through Jimin's head, so much need for peace from his head.

Maybe if he finishes it off, he won't feel this pain anymore, right?

They won't think it's his fault, right?

He let it happen, just as he said.

It's his fault....

All his fault...

Jimin breaks a weak cry as he finds the razor through the cabinets, seeing the sharp edge beautifully gleaming from under the light.

So pretty.

This time..... Make sure to not do it horizontally.

Jimin removes his bracelets, revealing his old scars. There's not too many there because he didn't want to have to hide it all the time with bracelets, but he has a few there and on his thighs.

He hasn't done it in a while....

Not since Yeosang helped him-

"JIMIN!" Yeosang screams from the other side of the door, "Please open the door! If you don't then I'm break in! You know I would do it!"

Time to act fast.

Jimin breaks another sobs through his quivering lips, groaning under his breath when he makes a fresh horizontal line, feeling the familiar relief of the cold metallic gliding against his skin and tearing to ooze out blood from the wound, then followed by another one, "I can't do this anymore Yeosang.... I'm sorry."

"Minnie please listen to me," Yeosang practically begs through the other side, "It's hard, okay? I know it's hard. You can't focus because all you're thinking about is his voice and all you want to do is just break apart, but don't do it. Please don't do anything that you will regret."

The razor is shaking in Jimin's bloody hand, now having made four new cuts on his skin, ready to make the vertical one to end it all, "I won't regret this, I promise."

"You will because then I will be sad.... And alone," Jimin pauses, right when he sank the razor to his skin, "I have a father..... Who's very abusive.... To me and my siblings. Every day since the day I was born, he would hurt me, bad. There's been many times I wanted to die Jimin, so many times because I didn't feel loved at all. My parents didn't love me, and I wanted to finish off their mistake that they made."

Jimin squeezes his eyes shut, letting his frail sobs tumble out his lips as he remembers the night of Yeosang crying to Jungkook with bruises scattering his body, "I didn't end it because I had my siblings. They stopped me many times and has consistently showed me that they care and love me," Yeosang continues, his voice now very frail as the doorknob began to slightly rattle, as though he was trying to tweak it from the other side, which he is to open it, "I care about you Minnie. Jungkook, Yoongi, even fucking Taehyung and that says a lot coming from me. We want what's best for you because we care about you."

The grip Jimin had on the razor weakens, letting it fall past his bloody fingers and to the ground, seeing nothing but the red of the blood that oozing down his wrists.

So... Much.... Blood..

"Even though our situations are so different, our own problems can still feel heavy to us and is equally as important. Maybe what you went through wouldn't affect me or anyone the same just like I went through to you or anyone, but this is your pain and it's feels just as heavy for you just as my pain is heavy to me in my own way," Yeosang says, his voice still soft against the door, "I'm right here Jimin, and I need you..... I really need you. Let's start healing while leaning onto each other. You don't have to go through it alone...Don't leave me, please Minnie."

Now Jimin is on his knees, hugging his own weak body with choked breathes. As much as Jimin tries to end his life, letting his demons win, he can't...... He can't do it.

He can't do it...

He can't leave Yeosang behind, not after everything he's done for him.

His brother.... His big brother would be so sad.... Just remembering his smile from only moments ago filled Jimin with so much weakness.

Jungkook... His roommate, who he loves and adore so much. The person he took care of while he was in his weakest, hiding so much inside yet still stays strong.

Lastly Taehyung, who although said those things to him and it hurt him, that's still his friend even though he don't have an emotional type of attachment, but Jimin does.

He can't stop caring so much....

And he can't keeping fighting it anymore.

That hallow darkness in Jimin's head began to fade away with Yeosang's voice, leaving Jimin feeling naked to his emotions that are pouring out through his empty tears.

He needs warmth.

It's too cold.

This loneliness...... It's so cold.

"Y-Yeosang," Jimin whimpers, heaving out a painful shutter, "H-Help me."

It only took a second for Yeosang to open the door, since he managed to unlock through the other side, and he had to fight so hard not to break apart the second he saw the blood on Jimin's hands and the razor on the floor beside him.

His Minnie.....

His Minnie tried to....

Oh God this is so painful..

Jimin could see the way his heart shattered in his eyes and he only bows his head down in shame as he cries, "I-I'm sorry..... I-I'm sorry Yeosang."

Jungkook stands by the door with gapped lips, watching as his brother drops beside Jimin and holds him tightly in his arms as he cries against the boy to his pain. Taehyung, who stood beside him, began to feel a wave of panic and guilt by seeing the familiar scene, almost as though it stung the wounds on his waist to reopen.

It never processed to any of them that Jimin would ever go this far, but now it all weighs down to regret.

Complete and utter regret.

Taehyung couldn't see the sight anymore, only turn to walk into his room with his hands shaking feverishly by his side.

Memories, so many triggering memories.

His attempts of suicide when he was on heroin, the times he would slice his skin or press the cigarette studs on it, just anything to not feel that emotional pain of the emptiness his mother left him with.

Just to not hear the horrors of his childhood echoing his head, seeing things no young boy should ever have to witness at a young age.

Jimin's words.

It won't stop....

"YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME BUT THEN YOU HURT ME!

Shut up...

"To see the signs of someone you thought so highly of to possibly be the cause of why you're so empty now?

Shut up!

"EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT HERE YOU'RE STILL HERE!"

Taehyung breathes heavily as he covers his ears, trying to pry the voices out of his head, only driving himself madder with insanity. He's scratching his skull and wheezing through his teeth, try to force out the screams from his head.

Until it stopped....

With a memory.

"Tae, my love."

Eight-year-old Taehyung focuses with eyes blotched with tears to his red wrists, the cuffs gone but now having the remains of a vibrant burning red color decorating his skin as replacement. He couldn't stop staring at it, especially to how his hands quivered on the table.

Not until a gentle hand glided his head up, seeing his mother's gaze fixated onto him.

"Mom, he died.... I saw.... T-That boy die-"

"I know sweetheart, you're too young to have witnessed that," She murmurs, rubbing his head, "You're crying too much. That's a problem sweetheart."

Taehyung hiccups, attempting to stiffen his lips to stop it wobbling.

His mother smiled, "That's better. Remember, whatever those feelings are, they aren't real. You can control how you feel to your advantage. So don't allow anyone to ever see you cry, that means they'll know how to hurt you."

Taehyung gulps thickly and looks back to his wounded wrists, now turning purple, "But.... You hurt me too mommy."

"That's why you mustn't cry. A heir can't cry. This won't be the only dead body you'll see in your life child, you need to start detaching yourself to those ridiculous feelings," And she glides a stand of hair behind Taehyung's ear, "Mommy says this because mommy loves you, you know that right?"

Mommy loves me.

Mommy.... Loves .... Me....

Taehyung grunts as he opens his eyes, seeing that he's not back there anymore in the depth of the memory. No, now he's rubbing his wrists, forcing those feelings done.

The rage.

The pain.

The guilt.

Forcing it all down, letting him feel nothing.

Just as practiced.

The door to the room suddenly closed shut and he lifts his head up to see Jungkook standing in front of him, who holds onto a knowing look in his eyes. Taehyung didn't even have to say anything and Jungkook was already hugging him, holding him tightly against his chest.

That's when it all broke.

That mental repetition.

The gaslighting to himself - it all got destroyed the second he was yanked into Jungkook's arms.

And Taehyung broke apart.

And he couldn't stop.

He shouldn't. He knows he shouldn't let himself feel.

But now, it's becoming difficult on how to stop it.

Especially after what happened with Jimin

"I-I caused this," He shutters weakly, burying his face against Jungkook's shoulder, "I-I triggered him and I didn't mean to-"

"Shh he's going to be okay, Yeosang is taking care of him," Jungkook says, his own voice growing shakily as well, "I overheard the conversation, you can't just say those things without knowing Taehyung. We only know what Jimin wants us know, and he needs the support right now to get through this."

Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut and begins to shiver, "I know.... I just... He needed to let it go, and this was the only way I could think of for him to express himself to me. Fully. To move on."

"It's not that easy," Jungkook says, his voice growing steady, "This was emotional abuse. He's scarred terribly because of it. He wouldn't even let anyone touch him for a while. It's not easy being able to get out of an abusive relationships once you're in one, and it's hard to let it go without time and patience."

Another painful stab sliced through Taehyung's soul, forcing his to flinch.

Time and patience.

Such simple words, yet such difficult actions.

This only continued to fuel Taehyung with more agony, holding tightly onto Jungkook's body, "He's so different now, so fragile. He was not like this," He squeaks weakly, letting his heart weigh down heavier, "He hurt him so bad."

She hurt him so bad too, but that's a truth Taehyung will forever refuse to accept.

Jungkook frowns deeply to those words, caressing Taehyung's hair on his shoulder with his own eyes glowing in a daze, fighting the battles in his eyes to the whirl of memories that slid into his mind, bring him back to memories of his father and the fights with Taehyung that would always break him apart, remembering his own pain that he felt through it all.

So with his eyes closing shut, he holds Taehyung tighter, "Yes, he really did."

_________________________

A/N:

I can't express...... How hard it was.... To write this.

Having a personal connection to issues like these and writing about it is really hard because it's like seeing memories or similar memories before my eyes, like a reflection.

It's...... It was definitely very hard to write.

Ah this note is going to be short, my emotions just..... Got overwhelmed and I need a moment to cool down.

I PURPLE YOU! <33