Hello Lovelies,

So as I republish this story, I've noticed immediately how there are a few people who failed to have read the disclaimer in the beginning.

If you need a reminder, here it goes:

Warning:
Avoid reading the comments.

The comment section can be very emotionally triggering for those who went through domestic violence, family violence, drug addiction, or have explosive behaviors due to trauma. Sometimes certain opinions that others express can hurt, I can speak for myself, and I don't want those who went through any of the above to feel emotionally attacked or put down in any way by what's being said in the comments.

There's also spoilers to certain books in the comments. It's really hard finding all of them and deleting them so it's a process, so if you're planning to read some of my other work, avoid reading the comments.

We also barely get Taehyung's perspective in the book until more so the very end. It's a long book, be patient. There's always two sides to a situation, so be patient. This story is mainly from Jungkook's perspective, but we will see hints and bits of everyone's intake here and there.

I'll say this now that this story is very personal to me. It's not only voices from my experiences, but experiences others went through in life. Perhaps not real to the last dime, but certain situations, emotions, behaviors, or scenes do reflect real scenarios from people I know or what I went through. So if you're looking for a quick paced story surrounding love or being in love so quickly or a expect to only be Taekook while not considering the other characters that can be impacting their lives too, this is definitely not the story for you.

Don't let the idea of shipping get to you. I have read so many comments already saying 'I thought this was a Taekook story' 'I don't think this is a Taekook story anymore' 'Where's Taekook?' And I perfectly understand if you came here for Taekook. But this story isn't just Taekook, and I don't want it to go be just seen as just a ship story. This story is deep and very raw about emotions and certain aspects of life. Please also take into consideration on the plot and storyline that I worked hard in putting together, not just the fact that it's a Taekook story.

Note:
So the whole ride of this story is going to be very slow paced. It won't always be focused on Taekook together but it will also focus on their own surroundings and lives as themselves as individuals, also their way of interact with other people as well.

This story is so deep and personal to me as an author. I only used the characters names in order for you guys to feel a connection to the story as well. I can understand if you came to read a Taekook story, but this story is sole for mature audiences only who can appreciate the storyline that I put together.

It's so shocking to see people still fighting or arguing with each other in the comments regarding the shipping on this story, when I've clearly have mentioned repeatedly to not let the idea of shipping get to you and to avoid the comments due to it.

I will say this right now and it'll be the last time I will say this, if you came here for Taekook, if you came here for them to fall in love so quickly, or to not care about what's helping them grow individually before getting together, perhaps not care about the other characters too, leave this story.

No one is going to disrespect a story I worked so hard to write, taking hours of my sleep and eating and getting triggered by certain scenes in order to write this for your guys. To share a story with you guys. I'm a realistic writer, and unfortunately, people don't live happily ever after so quickly without going through the hard obstacles together.

If I see one more time 'Where is Taekook?' 'I only came for Taekook' 'I don't care about the other characters because it's not Taekook' or even disrespect my book while still reading it even after reading this disclaimer a second time, I'll delete the comment.

Honestly don't torture yourselves by reading a book that's only going to frustrate you. This book will be complicated all the way towards the end, but as for now it's going to be how each character is growing individually before coming together.

So this is your chance now, stop reading if you're here only for the ship and not the storyline, or continue reading.

Your choice, but remember that your words have an impact on people. Be careful how your express yourself in the comment section.

Thank you.

__________________________

Hostage - Billie Eilish

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Taehyung knows that Yeosang regrets ever agreeing to this in the first place.

Very badly.

He's seeing Taehyung more often now as they move into their new apartment and that's not exactly a sight for sore eyes.

Well, not like Taehyung is complaining whether the kid likes his presence or not by this point.

Taehyung has tried being a decent person to the youngest Jeon sibling, but it's not exactly a walk in the park.

Yeosang's attitude brings back the nostalgic of the old habits from Taehyung - Habits of being cold, rely on rage, be the villain to this own story because he knows he is. Perhaps in some way, Yeosang knows what Taehyung is capable of, for which leads to him to despise him.

But that's the thing, it didn't appear like such a bad thing.

In fact, that's a compliment.

It makes Taehyung feel guarded in a way, and not like a weak bitch to life.

Taehyung doesn't really care about what others thought of him truthfully, so being the good or bad guy doesn't take his sleep away.

Unless it involves Jungkook.

Taehyung is so used to being the villain in everyone's story, but he utterly hates the idea of being the villain in Jungkook's story.

That's the only person Taehyung cares about by this point who doesn't make him feel like a piece of shit.

Can't really say much for Jimin since they don't have an emotional relationship, but Jungkook has always been consistent with him.

It's something Taehyung relies on.

Not like Taehyung wants to feel like the good guy, or does he craves validation, but he prefers being in the warm embrace of a comforting touch that Jungkook oozes to him rather than the coldness of a snarling glare.

Someone who doesn't see him as the bad guy, which is refreshing.

Anyways, that's not the point right now.

Right now the point is the apartment, and their move in day.

Turns out, Yeosang ended up agreeing to move in as well.

How did Yeosang ended up being convinced to agree to this?

Easy, Iodine.

A familiar name that Taehyung can't seem to escape from.

Even if she's away, she always has a hand over him like a dog leash. Jungkook spoke to her about having Yeosang staying over, permanently, and she was not disagreeing with it at all. Lisa was even on board with it.

Well, that's based on what Taehyung overheard while the brothers were discussing it in the dorm room.

So after about an hour of scolding and a threat to cut out his organs from Iodine, Yeosang agreed to stay with his brother, unfortunately.

Before moving in, they had to check out the area first and Jimin instantly fell in love with it.

Well because of the fire place in all honesty.

This is a one level apartment with a living room, an open kitchen attached to it and a small hallway with two doors on either side and a narrow window to the end of the hallway.

Taehyung personally like that window, since it reminded Taehyung of a cold winter night where he first felt like a human.

Realizing it actually, rather than a doll to follow commands

On the other hand, Jungkook is unbothered by it.

Yeosang knows he's about to get nightmares because of that window.

The shape around the area is circular, more so the living room with its large windows to glance out to the city. It seemed almost vintage style, as though it came out of a medieval movie.

The price was perfect and divided between everyone wouldn't cost a lot, so they took it.

The moving process was tough. Well not for Yeosang since he literally had only a backpack worth of clothes and that's it. Rooming arrangements wasn't assigned yet, so they only got the basics; moving the couch from the dorm to the apartment since Jimin was the one who bought it the start of the semester, which isn't far, getting kitchen supplies, the dining table from the dorm as well, dining table from the dorm as well. Most of the stuff they already had so they didn't have to waste money. Besides, Taehyung brought some of his stuff from his apartment too that could be needed as well.

Each room has a set of two beds, perfect sized with the room itself because it's pretty big and now they are left to decide who rooms together.

The rooms are side by side while the bathrooms are across and thankfully for Yeosang, it's sound proof.

If he ever gets his needs to murder someone-

Okay he's not about to do that, but it saves up the idea that he won't have to hear Taehyung's voice anywhere near him.

Taehyung appreciates it too, in that way he won't have to hear his voice breathing down his  neck all the time as well.

"Okay!" Jimin claps his hands, turning towards them, "How are we going to do this?"

Jimin is extra excited about this move. He had a new bed, a new scenery, everything feels new and it's just a refreshing start for him.

Yeosang has made up his mind a long time ago about rooming, so he goes up first, grabbing Jimin's arm and yanking him to one of the rooms.

"Consider yourself my roommate," He beams sarcastically and looks back to Jungkook, masking a fake smile, "Now we're even," and gets closed the door shut.

Oh Jungkook knows why he's doing this.

His brother is just being petty because he's being dragged into this. Either that or it's also because he would rather room with Jimin just so the other wouldn't be around Taehyung's presence.

He knows his brother can take care of himself, but Jimin is quite fragile these days and Yeosang would go insane to the thought of Jimin sharing a room with Taehyung.

No, not because he's afraid Taehyung would do anything to Jimin.

It's quite unclear as to why, but that's something he refused to tell Jungkook about.

Jungkook narrows his eyes to where the two disappeared off two and looks at Taehyung, letting out a heavy sigh, "Ready to be roommates?"

A small smile perks Taehyung's lips and he nods.

That's another thing that's been happening a lot lately. Taehyung is now very shy when he vocalizes his words. He either goes along with it, or if there's something he disagrees with, his voice gets so small and hesitant.

He's trying to adjust to this.... New settlement they have with each other to not cross any boundaries. He would be his usually self here and there but when it comes to decisions, he grows more on the quiet side to think over his words.

So Jungkook took his stuff and went to the other room, Taehyung trailing behind him with his own box full of things. The room is big enough for the two of the and to be in their own space. Two night stands are placed by the narrow long window, creating the barrier between the two beds that are pressed against the wall.

Perfect.

Distance is good.

Jungkook takes one of the beds that's against the wall while Taehyung takes the one beside the closet. In silence they began to unpack their things, mind their own business as they organized their side however they would like. They decided to split the closet for their clothes, which wasn't hard separating the two since once side looked like a rainbow puked on it while the other appeared as though it has never seen the light of day.

Thankfully Jungkook packed everything from back at the dorm, RA's orders so they can give the room away to students on the waitlist, so the second he finished putting his light pink sheets on his new bed, he dropped on it in utter exhaustion.

A nice nap sounds about fantastic right now after such a long day.

"Get some sleep."

Jungkook looks over at Taehyung, who finished putting on his own black sheets and lays back down on it as well, eyes closed, "I promise I don't snore."

This made a subtle chuckle bubble out of Jungkook's lips, closing his eyes once again to feel his body weakening against the cushion, "I know you don't."

So that's how Jungkook spent his day, struggling between his sleep to fight off the punches and screams that use to haunt his adolescent years. He can almost feel the puncturing fists of his father against his face, taking all the breath out of his lungs until he's on the floor, unable to move as his sister aided his wounds.

Everything ached.

He was screaming, but it never stopped.

No matter how much he begged, the ghost was still there to caress their slender hands against his trembling skin.

Whispers, so much whispers that he can't fight off with his cries.

Innocent tears to his trashed years, all circulating back to one person.

His father.

The reason he would ever get beaten up because he would send people to do it, just to fuck him up for not listening to him. Fingers of wickedness would wrap around his neck, tears on his clothes, mark his skin with bruises to his already fragile body.

Touching him... They touched him a lot.

He can still hear the curses circulating in his mind, like a broken recording, of those men laying hands on Yeosang - yanking his limbs and beating his fragile body to be almost a corpse on the floor - all for the sake to tear this attention away from his big brother.

Jungkook tried reaching for him, but he was always too far away. 

Never able to save him. 

Those weren't nightmares that Jungkook invented in his head, waking up to see it was just fragments of his imagination.

They're memories.

Memories that still haunt him like a disease to this day.

Jungkook didn't realize how horrible affected he was by these continuous flashbacks. He didn't hear the way he was pleading for it to stop, feeling his nails drag his melanin skin or the sweat drenching his hair.

He didn't know how his whimpers and cries woke up his roommate, who's now by his side as he tries to shake him awake.

"Wake up!"

"JUNGKOOK WAKE UP!"

That when he shook awake from the brutal trauma.

The second he shot his eyes open, he screamed.

He screamed as though he felt the knife being plunged down his abdomen from his memories. His body shuffles back from the hands on his body, pressing himself against the wall with his breathes stumbling out in heavy wheezes in panic and hysteria with the crystral tears gliding down his flushed cheeks.

"Hey, it's okay," The voice in front of him spoke but he can't see anything, all he sees is black spots and that filled him with complete fear.

So much fear.

"Don't hurt me," He shutters out, rubbings his arms with his shakily hands, "I-I'll go h-home, I-I'll go home."

He'll go home and they won't touch him anymore.

They won't hurt Yeosang.

They won't continue to hurt him.

They're going to fuck him up, leading him to death before yanking it awake, only leaving him wishing that he was rather dead than to face this torture.

Suddenly hands are on his face, clasping his cheeks tenderly. Jungkook is screaming again, slapping the hands off of him but then.... He hears something..

"Raven."

Jungkook shudders under his breath, his blurred vision still clouded in darkness but he continues to shiver uncontrollably in anxiety.

"Raven," The voice says again, thumbs caressing his skin, "It's Little Gem. Can you say it for me?"

Little Gem?

Little Gem....

"G-Gem?" Jungkook whimpers, now able to see a blurred facial structure in front of him instead of this suffocating darkness, "A-Are you going to h-hurt me?"

The person's head shakes softly, "No.... No... You're not there. Raven, you're Raven. What is Raven?"

Raven....

Raven.

That name..... So familiar.

"S-Someone strong," Jungkook shutters quietly to the mass memories rushing his head, raising a hand to cup over the palm on his cheek, "Not a-afraid."

"That's right," The voice is clear now and Jungkook is able to see the soft brown eyes staring at him, "Is Raven strong?"

By now Jungkook isn't breathing heavily anymore, his vision is taking in his surroundings to notice he's in his new bedroom, not an alleyway. Yeosang is in front of him, staring at him with those familiar stern eyes that he would always wear whenever Jungkook would get into these attacks.

Soft eyes.

Familiar soft eyes.

His little brother...

Slowly Jungkook nods, "R-Raven is strong."

"Yes, that's it," Yeosang cooes, dragging Jungkook out of that dark cave, "Who's Raven?"

The demons were clawing his body anymore, now they're cowering away in fear.

To the Raven inside his soul, the persona he used to hide his pain and suffering.

His own shield.

A soft sigh passes out of Jungkook's lips, feeling his heart rate slowly lower down from it's rapid state, "I'm Raven."

Yeosang's lips tugs a small smile to this, sniffling his tears back, "That's right brother, You're Raven," He whispers, caressing his hair with a tugging frown on his lips, "Was it... Was it dad again? The memories?"

Jungkook lets out a heavy shake of his breath, squeezing his eyes shut with a slow nod and pink trembling lips, "H-He won't leave me a-alone, even when he's not here."

The younger gently grabs his brother to drag him to his chest, hugging him tightly so he wouldn't feel so alone because he knew that's something his brother is feeling right now.

Yeosang knows how to handle Jungkook when he's like this after so many years that he's had to help him through this attack, but it's never easy doing it.

It's always hard seeing his brother so broken apart, crumbled by the weight of life just so easily as though the shards of glass are raking shards inside his soul.

Even though Jungkook always likes to be strong for his siblings and never likes to show his pain, and Yeosang is always there to guide back to his light when he does fall into his own darkness. The time their father would beat him nearly to death, Yeosang would be there to help him calm down his panic attacks or anxiety attacks as well.

Raven was always something that brought him back.

It's the person he wished to be. The person everyone new as back home. A person with a non caring personality that would beat people for even breathing a threatening aura around him.

He loved being Raven.

However when he got back home, he was Jungkook. The broke boy who got beaten down by his abusive father, who would cry to sleep in hopes his siblings don't get hurt by that man when he wakes up.

Even though time passed, Jungkook can still feel the vicious shards of scars in his heart.

His father will always be his biggest demon, with who he can never win against.

It's easier to say to report him to the police, but their neighborhood knows how to handle well the police, especially his father.

If Jungkook wanted more pain, he would go to the police and get beaten for being a snitch.

No one ever involves the police.

And Jungkook can't just go back, beat him to death because at the end of the day, he's still his father.

He has his claws inside of him, making him behave like a sick dog afraid of their owner.

Jungkook is most definitely afraid of that man.

Through the whimpering tears Jungkook would pour out to his brother's chest, Taehyung watches with a frown to the two brothers, feeling an ache in his heart by how fragile Jungkook looks.

He wasn't able to calm him down when he noticed Jungkook's behavior like this, so he went to get Yeosang.

It didn't even take much for the younger to get here to calm his brother down.

Taehyung can only imagine what those horrid dreams in his head would be like if he's reacting this terrified towards it. Sure, Taehyung gets nightmares, but he knows how to deal with it alone - where no one would know.

Not like it matters.

Sometimes those dreams are real, and sometimes they're a fragment of reality.

At the end of the day, Taehyung stopped care anymore to find a way on making them stop.

Well..... Not entirely.

The only time he gets a blissful sleep is when he's next to Jungkook, where his mind can finally stop thinking.

Who knows what Jungkook's remedy for those terrors would be, but that's something they'll figure out together.

So he watches the two brothers with a worried frown, walking out the room to give them some privacy.

"Is he okay?"

Taehyung looks up to see Jimin leaning against his door, a clear sense of worry spreading his facial expression.

He looks back to the closed door, letting out a heavy sigh before looking back to Jimin, "He will be..... I hope."

This only makes Jimin nod slowly, giving Taehyung a more settled look, "Let's hope so, fear can be pretty hard to overcome, especially if the person who caused it still exist."

Something about the way he said those words spiked a hint of anxiety in Taehyung's chest, especially to his feline eyes as he trails off back inside his room.

Closing the door shut behind him.

___________
A/N:
Awwww Jungkook :(

Hopefully he'll be able to get through his trauma soon, but.... It's not easy. Childhood trauma can be very impacting, especially if it was a repeated event that happened over time.

Let's see what happens while they're living together!

I PURPLE YOU LOVELIES! <3