42 (Pt. 1): Childhood Triggers
Lovely - Billie Eilish & Khalid
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Jimin follows with his eyes as the two angry boys leaves the dorm, looking back at Yeosang when the door slams just with his own annoyed pursed lips.
"Now what was that!"
He deserved an explanation! This was his damn dorm too!
However Yeosang wasn't looking at him, he was glaring at Joshua with slight squinted eyes. He didn't say anything, only puts his earphones on and got lost with the music, avoiding answering Jimin's question. He could see from the corner of his eye how Jimin only scoffs and walks with Joshua to his room with the door shut, and that's when his mind began to wander to other issues.
Yeosang hates being alone, since he thinks too much, but during those moments, he gets to see from the outside.
He doesn't trust Taehyung.
The guy took care of him, really good care of him when he needed it, but that doesn't mean he will trust him.
There's something about his and Jungkook's whatever affair they have that he doesn't like or can stand. It just all feels so..... Odd?
Yeosang has thought that perhaps it was just the fact it was his brother and he's being protective, but he knows he has his reasons to be protective.
Especially after all the shit that they experienced.
Yeosang doesn't trust anyone, and perhaps because in his mind, they're all a little bit like his father. Eventually, they'll snap and take it out on anyone in their path.
Just like with Taehyung.
Sure, he's human, good for him, but sometimes Yeosang can't shrug off familiar patterns that appear like warning signs in his head to whatever Taehyung says or does.
Yeosang's father was always kind before a beating. He would always assure them a better day before throwing a beer bottle to their face if they pissed him off.
Yeosang hates kindness, it's always before an explosion occurred.
Just like what happened today.
Yeosang doesn't trust people. He doesn't trust people taking care of him. He doesn't trust people smiling at him. He doesn't trust people touching him. He doesn't trust anyone besides his siblings and Woosung - who is like a brother to him.
Yeosang knows this isn't normal, that he should get over it, that familiar patterns aren't always an indication of familiar outcome and that everyone is different, but that's all he knows.
He grew up watching his siblings suffer because of those patterns, so he doesn't trust anyone around them.
He just knows that Jungkook is going to get hurt, and Yeosang doesn't know if he'll have it in him to hold himself back from actually killing Taehyung.
You see, that's the funny thing about his personal relationship with Jungkook. He can think of many people he would rather be around with than him, but if someone hurts him....
Yeosang shakes the thought from his head, not wanting to think of that one dumbass - well dead dumbass- that had the audacity to speak low of him.
That was the murder investigation Iodine was talking about.
Taehyung was lucky that Jungkook cares about him, if not he would've ended up like poor Max, only left as a case with no trace back to him.
Just for being suspicious and lashing out that tongue to his brother.
Yeosang made sure there were not traces back to him for the Max case, and Iodine is taking care of it.
She always knows how to take care of her kids.
It's very extreme to say Yeosang would be a serial killer because he's not. However, if one hurts his family than he just might accept the title.
Jungkook hasn't killed anyone, Yeosang has. For him. That will always be his little secret.
Don't let the idea lay comfortable, murder is something Yeosang didn't expect for things to end up. It just happened.
Even if Max was a piece of shit, that night of his death haunts Yeosang to this day of what he did.
And it never leaves him alone.
Perhaps it's the guilt of having to kill another soul, after all, Yeosang is not immune to feelings.
He's a teenager who just.... Went through too much.
He hates the world, he hates Jungkook, and he hates himself especially.
Not like that's something that'll change either.
Suddenly a loud aggravted groan manages to reach his ears through his earphones, making him furrow his eyebrows and take them off, hearing nothing but silence-
"Can you stop yelling?"
"I'm not fucking yelling!"
Jimin, that's definitely his voice.
"Look the kid will literally come barging in here if you don't putdown your tone!"
Oh it was far to late to worry about him. Yeosang slides off the couch and instantly stands outside the door, listening through it.
He can hear sounds that seems like were sobs, maybe just faint sniffles, followed by a heavy sigh.
This scene feels familiar, and it trigger immediately his inner child panic.
He's not home.
This isn't Busan.
"Can you stop crying?"
"No!" Jimin wails quietly, making Yeosang frown to the weak quiver in his voice, "I-I'm trying so hard to make you h-happy but... We always fight and it hurts me."
"I literally didn't say anything bad!" Joshua huffs, "All I said was I don't like the fact that you aren't a virgin... That you lost it to fucking Taeyong. Like seriously? To him? Out of all people?"
Yeosang's whole face scrunches up in complete disbelief.
That's Joshua?
Who the fuck are you to complain about that?
Jimin sniffs, "I-I was young okay! We had a good connection-"
"Do you just happen to have a good connection with everyone you meet? Huh? You have no idea how uncomfortable it is for me to even be in this room knowing you have fucked nearly the whole school here."
Yeosang saw flashbacks through his eyes, Joshua's voice shifting between his and his father's tone.
It's a tone of complete manipulation and control.
He wants Jimin to feel bad, only to continue to make him feel as if he was always the one in the wrong.
Yeosang's mother faced the same wrath for years, unfortunately it made her to become what she feared to be: The same woman his father tormented she was to begin with.
A whore.
Jimin is crying now, that much Yeosang can hear, "I-I never fucked the whole school. I'm n-not a whore. I was just.... So into the idea of love, to be with someone that I.... I was just with them. Why are you even with me if you think that low of me!"
"Oh you're trying to pin this on me now? At least when I was in a relationship, I was with them because I genuinely liked the person, not just to find some stupid feeling."
At this point Yeosang remained frozen, unable to go inside and unable to walk away.
Only listen.
"P-Please just stop," Jimin shudders, "I do like you-"
"Yeah, I bet you said that to everyone who said pretty words to you," Joshua snaps, "Tell me something Jimin, what difference is there between me and your past relationships? Nothing. We are all just the same to you because you're a fucking slut."
Jimin wheezes out a hiccup, "Don't say that... You don't mean it. You're just mad-"
"I do fucking mean it! I just don't tell you but I do mean it. That's how I feel. You just open your legs to anyone you fucking meet, you disgust me."
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A/N:
I'm sorry, I can't continue anymore at the moment.
That was just..... A harsh trigger
I'll be back soon, I promise.
T-This was just too much, I need a moment.
I purple you <3
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