Name: Swiftrain. Cool! I like the prefix Swift. It's nice.

Past names: Swiftkit, Swiftpaw. Normal /pos.

Name reasoning: The prefix is because she loved to run around as a kit. She wasn't named directly at birth. Her suffix is because of her step-sister, whom she had a close bond with. Makes sense! 

Clan: ThunderClan. These Clans are in new territory, due to a large storm and fire that ruined their previous territories. ThunderClan is still a forest, and it has a creek running through it. Cool to see that there are new territories. it adds uniqueness to the universe of the story. 

Previous Clan: ShadowClan. ShadowClan here has a big tree and a plateau that overlooks all the Clans. Nice. 

Gender: She-cat. Alright.

Sexuality: Straight. Not much to say here!

Appearance: medium-furred tortoiseshell she-cat with a white chest, two ginger paws, and two white paws; one blue eye and one amber. Her left ear is scarred with two nicks. She is smaller than average. I love Tortoiseshell/Calico cats- they're my favorite. And the ones with Hetero are cool too! A couple more details, such as fur length, tail length, etc. would be nice, though. 

Personality: Sweet, kind, a bit timid. She has anxiety and tends to hide it. She appears to be adventurous and very fierce, bold, and determined, but sometimes she's too feisty. She can have a sharp tongue when protecting others. She is very insecure. The anxiety and timidness contradict the fierce and bold. I know that she hides her anxiety, but that doesn't mean it disappeared; she'd still probably be a bit wary and skittish if that makes sense. 

Mate: Ravenheart; a cream-ish tom with a dark brown mask, ears, tail, and paws. He has round blue eyes, smaller ears, and is slightly plump. He is very fluffy. His left-back paw is lame. He has a deep scar across his throat that makes him mute for a few moons. Aww, he sounds very sweet. Although Raven fits more with cats that have darker fur; not so much cream/light coloured cats. 

Kits: Toadsong; a slightly plump dark brown tom kit, with thick fur with some white specks. He has blue eyes just like his dad. (alive) Cute.

Frogshine: sleek furred light gray she-cat with pale ginger patches and paws. She has light yellow eyes. Her ears are torn. (alive) Nice! 

Stormkit: smokey gray tomkit with amber eyes. (deceased) How did he die? 

Cloudshade: black tom with a white blaze, has his mother's somewhat frizzy pelt. He has gentle amber eyes. He sounds nice! 

Father: Tanglestar; sweet, thick-furred gray and white tom with amber eyes. He had a scar across his shoulder and a torn ear. He was the leader of ShadowClan. (deceased) Nice. 

Mother: Sandblossom; ruthless pale ginger she-cat with white paws and leaf-green eyes. She is lithe and has small paws, and short whiskers. She is a retired deputy of ShadowClan (Alive.) Her previous mate was Thrushwing, a dark blue-gray tom with a white chest and gray eyes. He died in a battle against ThunderClan. He is the blood father of Swiftrain's littermates. (Deceased). Cool. 

Step-sister: Rainlight; blue-gray she-cat with silver eyes. She is sleek-furred with large, tattered ears. (Deceased, she has two kits named Mossdapple and Drizzlecloud). Cool! 

Step-brother: Darkfoot: smokey gray tom with green eyes. He has large ears like Rainlight and a more squared muzzle like his father. (Alive.) Alright! 

Cousin: Prickleleaf; large, pale gray tabby tom with prickly fur, dark paws, and yellow eyes. He is the mate of Rainlight but also previously the ShadowClan medicine cat. He isn't blood-related to Rainlight, since she is Swiftrain's STEP-sister. (Alive.) Jeez, Swiftrain has a lot of family! 

Grandfather: Thistlefoot; a thick-furred tortoiseshell tom with a scarred face, he has odd eyes just like Swiftrain. He is Tanglestar's father. He has a plumy tail and prickly-furred paws. (Alive.) Coo. But it'd be pretty tough for an elder to live out their leader son, with the 9 lives and all that.

Grandmother: Deerwing; a cream she-cat with small ginger paws and fluffy ears. She had hazel eyes. She was lithe and small. (Deceased.) Cool. 

Aunt: Pinebird; thick-furred black she-cat with a white muzzle and hazel eyes. She has a thick tail and fluffy ears. (Alive.) Alright!

Uncle: Frostwhisker; silver tom with green eyes and dark paws. He had a thick, fluffy tail. (Deceased.) What'd he die of/from? 

Grandfather: Snakestrike; Pale ginger tom with dark specks and green eyes. He is lithe and has skinny legs; he has a rounded face and short whiskers. (Alive.) Cool. 

Grandmother: Dawnfeather; a beautiful pale ginger she-cat with gray patches and blue eyes. She has small ears and small paws. (Alive; ThunderClan). She sounds like a pretty cat! 

Mentor: Fuzzynose; a fuzzy-furred black tom with white specks and yellow eyes. He has crooked whiskers and a thick tail. (Alive.) Cool. 

Apprentice: Eaglepaw; brown tabby tom with a white chest and light green eyes. He is tall and has sharp claws. What's his warrior name? 

Future death: she dies as an elder due to green cough, because of her hatred of catmint/catnip. She dies in her sleep, but at least she got to be in StarClan with her beloved Ravenheart. I assume there's a reason she hates Catmint in the backstory, but it could have been stated here too! 

Rank at death: Elder. Cool. 

Past ranks: Kit, apprentice, loner for a short while, warrior again. Alright! 

Good traits: Sweet, loving, kind, and adventurous. Willing to protect her loved ones. She is very loyal. She is very determined and tries her best. She is creative and finds ways to think outside of the box, for example when she is hunting. Since she's clumsy, she finds her own ways to catch her prey, such as luring prey with pinecones or frogs. That's cool, with her being resourceful enough to lure prey. 

Bad traits: can have a bit of a sharp tongue when talking to cats she dislikes, which is only a cat named Nightberry/star. She has a stubborn streak and tends to get too curious about things, sometimes causing her to get into lots of trouble. She's also quite clumsy and insecure because of her mother. She also worries a lot about a lot of things. Antisocial. Pretty balanced.

Hunting: 5/10

Fighting: 7/10

Swimming: 4/10

Climbing: 8/10

Leadership skills: 3/10

Reputation: 6/10

Balanced here too. 

Likes: catching and eating frogs/toads with Rainlight. Laying in the sun. Kind-hearted cats. Standing in the rain, the scent of rain, anything to do with rain. Though she's not very good at it, she loves fighting and protecting her Clan. Fair enough! 

Dislikes: Nightberry. Monsters. Catnip/Catmint. Twolegs. Loud noises. Foxes. Hunting. Even as a warrior, she still can't hunt very well but she still tries her best. Fair. 

Scars/injuries: Her left ear is nicked and scarred because of her mother. She also has a scar above her left eye and one on her flank near her tail. Okay! 

Swiftrain had an okay kithood, but the other kits only played with her out of pity. Her mother was the deputy and treated her horribly, emotionally, which is why it's hard for her to trust cats. Why did they play with her out of pity? Why did they pity her?  

As an apprentice, she had a kind mentor who helped her through her anxiety, even when Sandblossom still criticized her. One time when she wandered off while training with her mentor Fuzzynose, a ThunderClan medicine cat apprentice (Ravenpaw/heart) came over the ShadowClan border looking for herbs. At first, she attacked him, not knowing he was a med cat. He explained himself, and soon they became friends. She also made a sweet, platonic relationship with a cat named Birdpaw/wing. There was a fox that attacked Birdpaw/wing (he's ok). The fox and its pack went to ThunderClan, and a few ShadowClan cats including Swiftpaw/rain went to ThunderClan to help. Only three cats died; one of them was the deputy of ThunderClan. Swiftpaw and Ravenpaw became closer as friends, and over time, their feelings grew. They met over the border, still as friends though. Ravenpaw decided to become a warrior apprentice because he was depressed about being a med cat. They still were friends for a while.

Okay, cool. 

Rainlight and Swiftpaw/rain went to search for moss for an apprentice in the medicine den. A cat named Nightberry was angry with Swiftpaw/rain because of jealousy. He tricked and drugged Swiftpaw/rain and her sister Rainlight with catnip. Nightberry put deathberries in a piece of prey and tricked Rainlight into eating it and she died, right before Swiftpaw/rain's eyes. Why was Nightberry jealous? That seems very extreme. And if he was angry at Swiftpaw, why did he drug Rainlight's prey? What'd she do? 

 Later, Swiftpaw became Swiftrain named after her beloved sister; she also refused to ever take catnip again, even for medicinal purposes. Sandblossom retired to the elder's den because she was tired and getting older. Tanglestar appointed Nightberry as his new deputy, not knowing anything the cat had done. Tanglesgar lost his last life due to being murdered by Nightberry's mother. There was lots of grief and every cat thought he just died from greencough again. Nightberry became the new leader of ShadowClan. Swiftrain was afraid, and she went to ThunderClan for help. Ravenheart comforted her, telling her she could stay in ThunderClan if she wanted. But she couldn't leave Birdwing alone because she promised she'd protect him, so she went back to ShadowClan. That's sweet, how she named herself after Rainlight. Never taking Catnip again is a bit extreme though- It was Deathberries that killed Swiftrain, not Catnip. 

At a gathering, Swiftrain saw Ravenheart again. After the gathering, she realized she no longer could hide her feelings anymore. Both of them confessed to each other, became mates, overtime they had two kits. She let them be taken care of by a different queen. But Nightberry, now Nightstar, found out and way later, made her have two kits with him. Forcing her to have kits with Nightstar is super messed up- Poor Swiftrain.

Being the twisted cat he is, Nightstar exiled Swiftrain and all four of her kits and she became a loner, blaming her for having a mate from a different Clan. Her tomkit Stormkit drowned in a pond while they ran from a dog. Swiftrain led that same dog away from the Clans, all while carrying her kits on her back. She then sought refuge in ThunderClan when she came back and they let her live happily (after a while of still trying to be fully accepted) with them. Ravenheart was very loving and loved all three of his kits, including Cloudkit, whose father was Nightstar. Birdwing missed Swiftrain too much and found out she was in ThunderClan and he followed her. Swiftrain lived happily in ThunderClan with her friend, her mate, and her kits. That's a nice ending!

Overall, Swiftrain is a pretty good OC! She has a few points that could use improvement, but they're few and far between. She gets a 7.8/10! Sorry it took so long to rate.