I bet a lot of you're in pain when you look at this picture.

It's been a year since I've watched Banana fish. At first I thought it would be some show that I watch and forget later on. But I watched the show and ended up loving it. And like a lot of you I was torn by the ending. I think cried like 3 times that day lol. For a while I was really sad and would literally feel pain from the word sayonara. I'd also feel pain while listening to the song Liberty (the song that plays when Ash goes to the library). For a long time it was like that. 

But then one day I listened to it again. This time it felt different. This was after I read Garden of Light btw. This time it sounded more peaceful, it was tragic but peaceful. I think from then on I really  started to moved on from that one event(you know what). I realized that though that may have happened, Ash finally found someone who loved him unconditionally. All his life he went through terrible abuse, he probably thought of giving up but he didn't. He had been fighting for so long. Even if he would have gone to Japan his past would have haunted him. He wouldn't be able to forget it. So I guess in the library, the reason why he decided not to get medical attention was because after reading the letter, he finally knew someone loved him. He must've felt at peace. 

And so... he finally decided to rest

Eiji was right. Ash wasn't the leopard. He chose his fate and knew at the end that someone loved him. 

As for Eiji well... He didn't do so good for a while

For 7 years Ash couldn't get over Ash's death, sometimes he'd even spot people in the crowd and mistake them for Ash. He couldn't move on.

Until this one scene where he looked at old photos. That scene made me cry a lot lol.

But after reading this scene Eiji finally started to move on from Ash's death. He was still obviously sad as was I. Then there was this one thing Eiji said that stuck with me when he was talking to Sing. I don't know why.

"Just because Ash is here doesn't mean I can't be happy"

I don't know why but that helped me a lot to move on from Ash's death. What Eiji and Ash had was beautiful. But you can't hold on to things you lost forever. So I moved on. lol I can't believe I mourned over a fictional character

I think you should move on too. Just because Ash isn't here doesn't mean you can't be happy. Plus you always have fanfics(plus the open anime ending).

Anyway thanks for reading my stupid speech now rate.