The whole night i was thinking of how cold it was. And of how what i did to raph was horrible. It was a long and cold night. I didn't sleep much i just stared at the stars and listened to all the cars pass by and hope no one would find me here in the dark corner. I sat up against the wall and just started thinking of what i can do and where i can go. I was thinking for what felt like a good 10 minuets. I started to look through my backpack to see what i had. It was pretty much empty just a shirt a blade a hoodie and five dollars. I wasn't very hungry i was just so tired. It was starting to turn into a new day, the sun was barely coming up.  I wanted to take a walk but I knew it was a risk of me getting caught. It's my life anyway. There not here to tell me what to do. But still it was risky. I had my blade in my hands hidden and started to walk. It felt nice to breath clean air. I looked at my phone,it had just turned 7 am. Everyone was up and going in the busy streets. Kids went to school, parents went to work. It was starting to get more noisy. I just kept on walking to where my two feet took me. 

Why did i do that. I betrayed him. I feel like a total slut. I am a slut. This time he wasnt the one that did something wrong. Now it was me. And i knew that from this fight he could never forgive me. I felt something run down my cheek. I hadnt realized i was crying. I miss him so much. I wish it had never happened. Its all my fault. I couldve pushed him off. I couldve screamed or told him to stop. But i just let him. No i have to stay positive now. I knew i would never see them again. I knew i would never see him again. I had to get back on my feet. I needed a place to stay but i had no one. I needed money but i had no job. I did have a job at murakamis, but something had gone wrong and he decided it was best for me not to work there no more. Ok so first things first, i need a job for money. then it hit me. I can finally go to school. I can finally have a normal life. No I'm getting ahead of myself. For now I just need money. I have no idea where I can get a job. The pizza place is the easiest but I know the guys like pizza so that's off the list. Maybe the mall. That's somewhere the guys can definitely not go.
I started making my way to the mall. Once I got there it was about 8. I was sure the mall was open now. I went inside and it was. I started walking around deciding what store to work at. I went into different stores but none of them really caught my attention. Then I saw a sign 'workers needed' this was perfect I was sure they would hire me. It just so happened to be a aeropostale store. That store is really nice I love the clothes from there. I went inside and went to the register. There was this girl there, she was nice.
As I approached her she smiled and gave me a nice "hello"
I smiled back and said "hi"

"How can I help you?"
"I want to apply here for a job, may I speak with the manager." I said
"Oh yes, you can follow me"
I nodded and we went to what I assume was a back room where everyone came for meetings.
"Hello Jessica there is a person here,she wants to apply for the job"
The person turned around from what she was doing and looked at me. I smiled. She nodded and the nice girl left and it was just me and Jessica.
"Please sit" She said pointing to a chair. I sat and she sat across from me.
"So here's the thing. We don't let people apply. I just decide if there ready to work"
"Oh ok"
"So what made you want to work here"
"I need a job that can get me a little money in my pockets, and so I can start working my way up"
"Ok and what's your age and name?"
"My name is (Y/N) and I'm 16"
"Ok good. Can you work any time or will you need a flexible schedule?"
"I can work any time"
"Oh perfect just what we were looking for!"
"Oh really "
"Yes, if by any chance you didn't get my name it's Jessica, i'm the manager"
"Pretty name"
"Thank you, so umm you can start two days from now I just need you to fill out this form, it's just basic stuff like your phone number shirt size and all the good stuff and we'll call you when your ready to come in"
"Ok perfect"
I really wanted to start today to at least buy a blanket and food. But I'll have to live off of five dollars for two days. I don't think I can do that to be honest.
She handed me the paper and I filled everything out in ten minutes.
I handed it to her and went out.

I decided to stay in the mall where it wasn't as cold as outside. I went through my backpack and put on my hoodie so I can get some warm.

"Y/N?"i turned to my name. It was kai.