"Hey...King..?" I called out to the yawning fairy, who had only just gotten to his feet as I stared outside from the doorway.
"Hmm?" He came to stand behind me, peering out from around my side.
"Could you maybe explain why the bar is moving?" It was too early in the morning to be under this kind of stress.

"Yeah, that's just Hawk's mom...The bar's strapped to her back." King explained drowzily, completely not grasping the fact that I was in a state of shock.
"Oh." I murmured quietly, stiffly stepping outside and onto the oddly smooth surface of green, making my way to the edge so I could lean over and confirm his explanation for myself. Low and behold, we were riding atop a giant pig. "Good morning."

I'm going to fucking piss.

My legs moved a lot faster when I turned and headed back into the house, carefully stepping over a passed out Ban and over to the counter to search for something a little more palatable than beer.
"Unless I am mistaken, it is far too early to be ingesting an alcoholic beverage." My head banged into the frame of the cabinet when I jumped, and when I stood up, rubbing my sore crown, I came face to face with yet another person.

Pretty pink hair and amber eyes caught my attention first, but I quickly turned to yell towards King, who was still in the process of waking up.
"Just how many of you guys are there?!" I gestured to the blank-faced guy, who decided to answer my question himself.
"I am Gowther, the Goat Sin of Lust. I assume you are the eighth sin that the others have been speaking of."

This guy sounds like he's under some kind of spell, ugh...

"Yep, that's me...Pleased to meet you, Gowther, Goat Sin of Lust..." I sighed, resuming my search for hard liquor. "You wanna be a doll and find me some whisky? Maybe some absinthe?" Truthfully, I had never been a huge drinker, but the situation called for it. I was currently in a tavern, surrounded by strange people, on top of a giant green pig. Intoxication was a necessity.

"I have no need to be a doll, as I already am one." Gowther responded, but I chose to just ignore that. Definitely didn't need any more mind fucks. Not before noon.
"Ugh...third shelf to the right...behind the sugar..." Ban appeared at the bar, using his arms to drag his hungover self up onto one of the stools and flopping lifelessly onto the counter.

With barely so much as a thank you, I squatted down and rummaged around, only reappearing once I had located my prize.
"Fantastic. Now I can activate my coping mechanisms..." I mumbled, popping the cork and throwing my head back. I maybe got a gulp or two down before the bottle was snatched from my hands, and I turned to glare at the perpetrator.

"If you wanna drink, you gotta pull your weight, (Y/N)!" Meliodas tutted,  wagging his finger in my face. "We always have bar maid positions vacant! Elizabeth and Diane could use a hand...but Gowther just looks creepy in the uniform." Grimacing, I recalled the skimpy little ensemble I saw the girls in the night before, and felt a little sick.
"She may be more inclined if those uniforms weren't so showy, Capt'n." Ban said what I was thinking, giving me a quick glance from the corner of his eye.

Yeah...I've had enough of that kind of thing...

The pair began to bicker about clothing preferences, so I chose to just slip away from the conversation, outside, even though I was still unsettled by the whole monstrous piggy situation. It was difficult, battling the temptation to use my power to screw with Meliodas, but I was still so drained. I could tell he was expecting something; some sort of retaliation, but there wasn't any point.

"Something on your mind?" Trying not to show my surprise, I peered down at the tiny piglet, Hawk, who had decided to climb up onto my shoe. "You look like you're thinking real hard about something." Bending down, I scooped him up in my hand and held him up at eye level.
"Apart from trying to figure out what the hell is going on with pig genetics these days..?" I asked sarcastically, and the little pink creature snorted.

"Beats me! We're gonna go find your sacred treasure, right? What does it look like?" He asked, and I puffed my lips out a little in thought.
"Kind of like...a yo-yo, I guess? A big, killer yo-yo." It was the best description I could have given him.
"Well, that sounds pretty cool to me! I've always wanted a sacred treasure of my very own, but I don't think I really need one with a power level of thirty thousand!" He boasted, making a futile attempt to puff up his tiny body.

"A little guy like you has that much power? Impressive. Remind me not to get on your bad side." I chuckled, playing along with his adorable delusion.
"I'm sure you're at least a fifth as strong as I am!" The little porker laughed, then he just stared at me, for an uncomfortably long time. Suddenly, after feeling him shudder upon my palm, he leapt off, bouncing on the ground and racing off inside, squealing loudly.

Um...okay..?

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*Ban POV*

It wasn't unusual for the runt to come screaming in, zigging and zagging around feet and furniture, but this time he really seemed to be in a panic.
"MELIODAAAAAASSSSSS!" Hawk screeched, still trying to run as the captain picked him up by the ear.

"No more scraps till lunch, little piggy." The blond stated, but that was obviously not the issue.
"WHO IS THAT GIRL?! I MEAN, I KNOW YOU SAID SHE'S A SIN AND THAT YOU'VE KNOWN HER FOR AGES BUT I'M SO CONFUSED!" Hawk squirmed and shouted, and I would have been lying if I said I wasn't the least bit curious about the new girl.

"Slow down, Master. Your point is..?" I plucked him from the captain and placed him on the counter, and he took a few moments to catch his breath.
"Why...is...her power level...over...thirty four...thousand..?!"

Wait...it's what..?!

Wide eyed, we both turned to look at Meliodas, hoping for some kind of explanation. He was scratching his head with his cheeks puffed out.
"Huh...that really is weird..." He started, glancing in the direction of the open door. "...I could've sworn it was way more than that!"

I was used to falling off stools in a drunken stupor, but not when I was dead sober. Catching myself on the bar top, I squinted at Meliodas with sceptical eyes.
"Bullshit...you're joking..." I accused, and he shrugged his shoulders casually.
"Could be. She's not weak, though." He laughed, wandering off to likely give Elizabeth's chest a good squeeze.

"There's no way I read those numbers wrong, I swear it!" Hawk cried, being his melodramatic self. I wasn't at all convinced as I looked out the door at the girl in question, who was awkwardly poking the flesh of our sentient ride beneath her feet.

This pig is a few rashers short of a breakfast...

"Better not piss her off then, Master..." I snorted, using a finger to pet Hawk and walking towards the stairs to head to my room. I took a moment to peer out the window, studying (Y/N)'s form. Her back was too me, now, and her (H/C) hair filtered the breeze as she stared ahead.

Nope...Not a chance. She's not even a real Sin anymore, anyway...Probably because she's so weak. If she was at that level of power, I wouldn't have had to bust her out of there...

Before I had the chance to even think about turning back to the stairs, the entire bar rattled as Hawk's mother came to a sudden halt, sending bottles; and people like me, toppling to the floor.
"What in fuck's name..?!" I cursed, rubbing my head and preparing to race outside before (Y/N) appeared in the doorway, her thumb pointing back behind her.

"Uh, so...there are like, six Holy Knights out here. They look pissed. Thought I should probably let you know."

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***Fillers because yee***