THIS ARE MINE I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT THEM KIDDING I THOUGHT ABOUT THEM WHEN I USED THEM IN PPL IRL or they're also just random things that happened tho

Me: *does weird thing*

Random Person: "u no I hte wen ppl do dat"

Me: "what"

RanPer: "yea"

Me: *stops doing weird things* *stands straight* *takes deep breath* "Thank you for sharing your personal preferences! If you want to share more, press one. If you want me to keep doing my own personal preferences press two. If there was a number for you to go away, I'd say it'll be three. Thank you for choosing us. Share with us another time, bye! Beeeeep."

~

Me: (to friend) my hypothesis is that when you insult people using more fancy and elegant words the insult reaches deeper into their hearts.

Friend: that's stupid

Me: no, it's just that your mental capacity isn't capacious enough, that means your ability to comprehend the words everyone says is low, meaning you don't have an IQ as great as ours.

~

-walking to school-

RanPer: (walking behind me) ur so slow

Me: I know right? Because everyone is excited to go to school ASAP.

~

RanPer: I dun no how too say sarcasm but everyone says it to me

Me: whadaya mean? (She actually meant she couldn't use sarcasm right)

RanPer: I can't say sarcasm!

Me: yes you can? (I didn't get her tho so)

RanPer: I can't say sarcasm!

Me: but you just said it like three times!!

RanPer: what

Me: what? Oh I get it...

~

-texting mah frand-

Me: sorry I was in plump oafs

Friend: what

Me: plump oafs*

Friend: what XD

Me; OLYMPICS wth autocorrect

~