I'm so fucking tired of being sad. I'm sad when I mad and suicidal thoughts make death seem like a good idea.

I'm fucking tired of being sad. I ignore thoughts that I know shouldn't be there until eventually the white noise fades and there's only complete and utter silence.

Then the void fills, and not with the white noise.

I'm so fucking tired of being sad. when someone wants to help I push the problems away and when I want help i complain that no one's there.

I'm so fucking tired of being sad. Why can't the shadows just let me be normal for a day or two? I always succumb to the idea that trying isn't worth it. That death seems like the best option and the sadness has to go away at some point.

I'm so fucking tired of being sad.

But being sad seems to be the only emotion besides numbness or anger.

I'd honestly rather be numb, all the time, then what I am now.

A fucking sad and tired mess.