I'm sorry if you don't like being sad, but...

I do.

That's not normal, right? I mean, being sad is normal, it's an emotion. But feeling like sadness is your only happiness with no cure isn't, right?

I hope it's not, I hope it's just me.

I think this was a few days ago, maybe a week, but I made an announcement recently and it's been bugging me.

It went:
My life is meaningless and questionable. You might see that statement as depressing, but it's my perception on life. We as a human race were not created on purpose. Weather their be a higher power or not, we were mistakes. We lash out at each other. We discriminate based on dumb rules society has set on humanity throughout history. We kill, steal, and are dicks to other humans. Not even humans, other animals too.

We include and exclude based our personal preferences. We are the dumbest race to exist and no matter how hard scientist try, we will never advance to anything but what we are. Stupid life forms. We don't deserve to be alive. Yet here we are. Living. Some humans are privileged with the luxury of a happy life and positive outlook. Others are broken. Poor. Depressed. I am broken. I am Patience. I'm ungrateful, arrogant, introverted, depressed, anxious and yet somehow bold.

I am broken.

I am one of the problems with society.

Yet I will continue to live my pitiful life being a human punching bag and an emotional pillow for friends. I will be the heart to be stomped on.

And I accept this.

A lot is going on in my head. A lot of emotions and meaningless thoughts I cling onto when I'm alone.

You might not care or have too much going on to hear another person rant about how horrible they feel.

If so, no one's stopping you from leaving.

But if you stayed
Why?

People keep telling me I'm worth staying, but I know that they're only pitying me.

I'm sorry if you actually care about me, you have to deal with and that has to take a toll on your mental health.

All I seem to do is push people away.

I was just having a fun conversation with people who care about me.

So i have no right to feel this way.

...i am broken.

I don't want to accept that.

But i am.