I came up with a few  Shakespearean insults, so here ya go:

-vain, toad-spotted, pigeon egg.

-bootless, beetle-headed, harpy.

-Rank, onion-eye, maggot-pie.

-Goatish, common-kissing, pignut.
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And then I have some other non Shakespearean ones like:

-soggy slice of bread.

-go eat a shoe.

-go sit on a cactus.

-absolute flipping walnut.

-soggy, half-eaten, mold infested, mayonnaise and blue cheese sandwich.

-go jump in a rose bush.

-go lick an icicle.

-go eat a boot.

-I hope you step in a puddle of freezing water and it soaks your sock and you don't have any other socks.

-I hope your pen runs out of ink when you have to use it.

-I hope a bird eats your apple.

-I hope your shoelace breaks during gym class.

-I hope you bookmark falls out of your book and you lose your page.

-I hope you run out of toilet paper after you poop.

-I hope you get the bottoms of your pants wet and they stick to your ankles.

-go stand up in a canoe.

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Those are just some random somewhat passive aggressive, non typical insults, some of which came from the internet. Feel free to use! Have a nice day! :)