I guess I never realised how much I liked someone until I said it out loud, drunkenly and through tears, because saying it out loud made it real.

And it hurts because they don't feel even slightly the same way. It's like someone is punching my chest with a sledgehammer each day. But a friendship is better than nothing. Surely? I can't tell them, that would ruin everything. I can't tell anyone. These feelings brew and bubble under my skin, threatening to come out. I'm always a mess.