I'm getting really tired of my family. In the past year they pissed me off so much that I ran away only for them to continue harrassing me the moment I got back and my mom openly gloats about how she manipulated me into coming back. Every day the first thing I hear every morning is my dad yelling at me and until he leaves for work all I hear is him calling me lazy or stupid. But nothing compares to the shit they've been trying to pull for the past month! My mom is demanding that I get married to a man and have children within the next 5 years even though she knows that I'm rarely attracted to men and openly gay and I want to adopt rather than give birth because thousands if not millions of kids in the world deserve a loving home that I am more than willing to provide for them but my mom told me that if I adopt then she'll disown my kids. Even my grandma is jumping in on this! She's Irish and the Irish side of my family arranges marriages and she's already looking for a husband for me! Not just any husband though, she's looking for a bible thumper! Imagine it: a witch and a bible thumper getting married. It's horrid! I already know whoever she chooses will abuse me to no end for my religion because Christians think their religion is #1 and should be law! Wait until they hear they're only #2 in the world, it will be chaos! And my mom is making me choose a god parent for my future kids per our Italian traditions from my grandpa's family. Normally, I wouldn't mind this because it's a good idea considering if I die I have someone to look after my kids but my mom insists on doing it the old Catholic way! The god parent must be Christian! Most of my friends and my sister are pagan! So that makes my choices little to none and she insists on baptising my kids! No thank you, bible freak! Don't get your cult water near my kids! And this has gone on long enough for my mom to attatch a child's spirit to me in attempt to force me into motherhood at 18 years old. She's forced motherhood on me ever since I was 15 years old, the marriage thing is new to this. And for the past few months a little girl's spirit has been attatched to me because it heard my mom begging for grandchildren and chose me. And I did research on it, if a child's spirit attatches to someone then they are bound to them and the person cannot escape parenthood. So she literally forced me into it and I can't escape from having a fucking kid! And the kid is just as pushy and demanding as she is! It drains my energy and has been trying to get me to have sex with literally anyone! I never gave in though to its demands and I doubt I ever will! I'm willing to wait for the person I'm destined to marry! I want to find myself a nice girl to make into my wife and protect her with every fiber of my being and give her the best ring I could buy and have us get matching heart tattoos and piercings so if we lose our rings we would still be bound! I want a pagan wedding where we pray to goddesses of marriage and bind our hands together with ribbons in a loving ritual in a private setting then have a party open to our families because I believe weddings should be a private ordeal! It's so frustrating what my family is doing and I hate it! I wish they would just fucking stop and consider what I want for once!