I wish I could talk to you, that I could fix everything between us, but somewhere along the line in my life you decided that it was okay to toss me aside. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if you weren't a part of my life, because this is torture. When I try to explain to you how I feel you start crying and you tell me I have no right to speak to you like that. I just want my mom back but somehow I'm always last, everyone else comes before me and my wellbeing. Because of you I had to grow up too early, you stole my childhood and I have spent years moving from home to home so that you could keep being home with my siblings. I don't even know what a home is anymore, I don't feel like I have one. Deep down I know you care and I know you love me, but I am tired of the result of me seeing you always being that I'm left feeling like useless garbage. I just want to be good enough for you to want me even when I'm not doing well, I can't keep being the daughter who is only allowed to be in your life when I'm happy and stable. I just want my mom back.. I need you to show me that my feelings are not what matters the least in your life.