I'm sobbing uncontrollably right now so let me express my sad soul.
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Childhood.. A time when you discover your quirks.

For me, I was a happy child.

My hair was a poofy mess, my blue eyes shimmered at any "My Little Pony" I was gifted, and my emotional rollercoasters I have to this day.

I had a lot of friends, every teacher accepted me, and I was able to express emotions.

I was a real life Barbie doll.

As so I thought..

It was around 2nd grade when I started to die down a bit. I gained a little weight, people made bad of my lisp, I was ashamed of being cute.

Yeah, weird stuff started to happen.

It all changed for me in 5th grade.

I started to become self centered and showed my artwork to anyone I could.

I was a Dan and Phil fanatic and claimed them as I lord and saviors.

I started to learn more about sexuality's and types of genders I could choose from.

I put my locks into a ponytail and stuffed them in my hoodie or beanie.

I wore the same thing everyday.

Same dull colors, same dirty sweatshirt, and same mask.

I was an unhappy camper.

I wanted to be a boy..

I remember I saw my mom had a thing that helped your stomach flatten after pregnancy.

I stole it and wrapped it around my chest.

Every.

Single.

Day.

The pains and aches of had from the "chest binder" hurt.

But if it proved I could change, I accepted it.

I convinced my mom to let me cut my hair to my shoulders.

I kind of regret that decision.

Anyways, I felt a little more comfortable.

Until a jerk said I was trans and started using slurs against "my kind".

At the end of the school year, I changed.

A ton.

I started wearing my hair down, I wore bright clothing, and I even wore dresses.

I wanted to be a girl.

This was fine until my friend cut their hair short.

That person was Drew.

I loved how their brown locks fell into their eyes.

I loved how they were confident to be masculine.

I wanted to be like that.

In a feminine way.

But that didn't work well in the end.

Now, I have 3 close buds I can vent to.

zayzaymw

Drew

And a girl named Alexia.

They understand me.

They try to help me through pointless and stupid times like this.

Let's say I have changed once again.

I want to be a Wiccan.

I am indentified as non binary.

I am Pansexual and Asexual

I wear my hair down or sometimes in a bun.

I have bangs.

Drew calls me short.

I wear glasses when I'm alone.

I am an artist.

I try to be aesthetically pleasing to the naked eye.

But now, I am mildy depressed as my brother would say.

Like in my kindergarten years, I have emotions.

I remembered those years and started thinking what would happen if I told younger me what I'm going through.

I turned out to be this dead meme.

I turned out to be a different me.

But I can't change the past.

I can't erase my mistakes history has painted me in.

Yes, I have emotions.

Yes, I have an average life.

And yes, I cry myself to sleep.

But I do remember the past and try to think of the good that happened.

(This was not edited for mistakes)

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