I don't feel like I do....

I take choir.

I LOVE TO SING.

SO MUCH.

It feels like the only class that I can fully let go.

Maybe math class, too, but that's different.

I'm starting to notice people...acting differently about me.

I act myself and they seem to ignore me or tell me to calm down.

Why?

I've come to the realization that my choir "family" isn't actually a family.

AT ALL.

I don't belong....

Perhaps I belong chorally.

But socially?

Nope.

A class of 30.

4 like me for who I am and I love them to death.

9 or 10 tolerate me.  I guess they're ok.

The other 15 or so REALLY don't like me.

My 4 friends try to tell me that I belong, but....

*sigh*

Do you know anyone, any GIRL, who loves to sing, write, read, play Minecraft, 3DS, Pokemon, analyze the world, intelligent, ADHD, crazy, funny, serious about academics, loves math....

Do you know anyone similar to that?

I can't connect with anyone....

I don't belong....

It's like the first chapter of this book.

I get bullied so much for who I am.

I DO care what people think about me, and it hurts sometimes.

But I still act like me.

Unless I'm legitimately acting for something, I find it very difficult to act in any way other than myself.

I just....

Feel so alone sometimes....

Online friends are awesome, I agree....

But....

IRL friends are a must-have in the world we live in today.

I can tell you right now that if it hadn't been for that black girl who spoke to me in 7th grade who is now my bestest friend...I might not be here.

;-;

*sigh*

I just don't understand this world.

I don't fit in.

The more smart a person is, the more observant a person is about the world, the more they realize how idiotic the world can be.

Take America right now for example.

I don't need to say more.

T_T

I honestly feel like a completely separate social category.

Jocks, cheerleaders, preps, emos, loners, nerds and geeks, outcasts, and Becca.

;-;