I...I can't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now.

The first thing that comes to mind is depressed.

Dad took my phone because I didn't have a B in both Calculus AB and AP Physics.

And I...I understand why, but....

I...

Dammit

I hate this so much

Other people have more severe problems and I'm complaining about losing my phone for a few weeks....

Guess it's back to being depressed again....

Man...I'd gone the longest time without being depressed.  Upset for some periods, sure, but not depressed.....

I've just be so effing sensitive lately....

I can't hide anything anymore....

I'm close to getting anxiety attacks in choir because we don't have much space to practice sectionals, so my group goes in the bathroom (that we purposely never use as it's supposed to) to practice, and maybe 15 minutes in, I start shaking.  I had to sit down on the risers while everyone else was standing up when we came together to sing what we'd practiced because I was so shaky from nerves and anxiety....

Due to my social anxiety, I have mild agoraphobia, the fear of large crowds, and slight claustrophobia, the fear of small spaces.  There are...13 of us in a...about 7 x 7 ft room....  Some of that space being taken up by a somewhat small piano, the toilet, and the sink.  And some boxes.

I just....

I thought you were supposed to get better as you got older....

Not worse....

My mood has declined rapidly in such a short period.

I feel so pathetic and needy....

And it's the weekend...so I can't talk to any of my friends until Monday....

There are so many things that I want to say, but saying them would be an insult to people who have actual, legitimate reasons to think those things....

Not losing your damn phone.

I want to type them so bad, but I can't. It's an insult to others with more legitimate reasons.

At least I have these RPs every now and then....

To escape him....

And he's going to read this.

...

...

...

...