School is getting a bit rough....

It's not the schoolwork...I love to work and I love the challenges....  It's the people....

People who I've never had problems with are suddenly, well, being problems!

Why?!  I...I just don't understand it!  I haven't changed who I am!  I'm still me....

Was it something I did?

Or...are people just now coming to realize who I am?

I often think back to my days of a horrid 3rd grader....  I was a bully then.

I try to remember how I found joy in other people's sufferings....

And I can't remember.

I can't remember as to how I found joy in their sufferings.

I can't understand those who are being so mean....

It frustrates me....  I want to understand the bullies so that I can help them....

But then I keep thinking....

Do I WANT to help them?

Is my happiness worth trying to help those who might not even want the help?

To be honest, I've never really found reason to protect the bullies because they never get bullied themselves....

At least, not at times where I could protect them....

So...that makes them have negative views of me because I don't help them like I help others....

But I don't know how to help them!

It absolutely pains me to not be able to help them!

I want them to understand that I could help them if they needed it!

And yet...at the same time, I just...don't.

I feel like they don't deserve the kindness that I could give them....

And I hate that!  I...I want everyone to be happy and kind and...and friendly!

Why can't the world be nicer...?

Why is the world the way it is?

Is it ever going to be possible to change the world for the better?

On some days, I believe it can be changed.

But...for the most part...I just...I just feel like all my efforts are in vain.

I don't know if any of you feel this way....

Sorry if your day has sucked and you read this, I just feel...angry at the world....