Welcome aboard to the spaceship called HOOMANLAND
hahahaha

So fellow humans...
*if you are a pet who is using your owners gadget for time pass, well I guess this rant if for you all lol*

Rubs my palms with a creepy look on my face

Get it? No? Fiddle di poop!

~ Pause, play, rewind... WTF? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? ?~

~ Cute guy waves at you
You are randomly walking by at potato land and you feel an intensive stare so you turn around to see some cutie- patotie looking at you.

He is not muscular nor does he have tattoos and stuffs but he is effing cute.

He gives you a shy smile then waves you a hi

*5 seconds to process*

AHHH! Male species tried to communicate with me!
You smile at him and wave back only to notice that his smile faltered then he tilts his head and some beautiful exotic woman walks over to him then they engage in a tongue -tango dance

"Excuse me miss, you have some leaf stuck on your tooth"

Oh the horror! The night mare! Did I just make a fool of myself? I'm never coming back here again
*digs a hole to reach Venus*

~ And the award goes to... Miss, Potatolicious

*jumps up and down on the seat. Runs up to the podium with Victoria water falls streaming through your eyes*

I would like to thank my 100 cats, the ants that keep biting me, the mosquitoes who suck my blood every night, the old lady right down the hall who keeps dancing to the song I'm sexy and I know it, to the old man who gifts only bananas to woman in our apartment, to the leaves that keep rustling and create a shadow like figure while I sleep, to that spider who got crushed under by foot, to that pigeon who..."

"Miss, sorry but the award is not for you. There was a tiny error and so we pronounced the name wrongly"

Ok... no problem, I'll tackle the situation in a much more calm manner because I'm an adult; a very sophisticated one.

Fuck you! *launches on the host with an intent to redecorate his eyes balls with the trophy diamonds*

~ I wish to be with someone like you...

Oh My God! *gasps* was that a proposal?

*calls up everyone and announces them about the wedding*

I knew he was in love with me, finally he realised it.

"Umm, potato... I said I wish to be with someone like you, not you. There's a big difference here"
Mr. Hot burger buns looks at potato with a sorry smile.

Oh alright, it's no biggie; I completely understand. You want to be a person who is just like me but who is not me eh...

THE HELL YOU ARE! TELL ME WHO SHE IS! THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE ME AND THAT'S ME!

*launches on Mr.Hot burger buns and plucks of his milk chocolate hair and trims off his caramel eyebrows*

~ Standing in a queue

People don't know the meaning of queue XD I absolutely dislike people who randomly walk in and join the line or just go to the front as if their some VIP.

Even if they are a VIP so what? There's something called manners !

You know what's worse? Standing in the queue for 3-4 hours and when you finally get your turn, the guy behind the counter places an interval board or even worse... CLOSED FOR THE DAY!

! ¥+£+&2;:×&@£@&@ give me back my damn lost time!

~ Shhhhh! Koi hai.....

Ok so yesterday I decided to go out and explore the place I'm currently residing at and I lost my way into a small lane lol.

It was dawn so I thought that there would be street lights but the lane was totally dark.

Boooooom, put-put-put surrrrrr....
I could hear the noise of a motor bike but I never saw it ._. It was that dark!
And me being the complete fool that I am decided to further and find 'the light'

I kept walking and the lane became smaller and smaller then I stood at the complete dead end of the lane. There were only independent houses to my left right upon that add no lights and weird noises.

Lo! Ultimate masala horror movie!

I began to freak out because there were no lights and I couldn't see any humans near by oher than an old man who randomly popped out of no where then disappeared.

I turned around and tried to absorb the house and there was this one particular house, it had literally no life. It was locked up but the main gate was open so I could see that the entrance was through a basement which was even more creepy.

That Lane looked you can kidnap someone and store them somewhere and no one would ever know!

I turned on my heels and ran back home and decided or never do any more stupid so called explorations :3

~ Eat me, lick me, consume my body in your thoughts...

I generally don't like cakes and cupcakes much but they look so yummy! My stomach would feel offended to eat them *sighs*

Ain't these delicacies cute*_*
I have many more such pictures but I won't share them or else heads would turn and eye balls will pop out :p

Moving on....

~ Pain results in beauty.... Or beauty results in pain?

Let me tell you a small story.

There was once a little ball of fur called furry who has fur all over her body.

Furry didn't care about anyone or anything but when she got hut by puberty, furry was heartbroken because people made fun of her fur...

Furry decided that she won't take it anymore so she went to a saloon for a make over.

*At the parlour*

Dah-ling ! Oh my sweet nipples, I will make you booty-full.

poor furry has tears in her eyes because her hair was being waxed that caused her skin to blemish. Her forehead, eyebrows and upper lips were threaded that made her look like someone else.

Her nails were manicured to perfection followed by a hair spa that made her hair bouncy.

"DAH-LING! OMG! MY NIPPLES ARE GETTING WET WITH JOY BECAUSE OF HOW YOU LOOK"

"Uhh, ma'am, that's your husbands breast feeding time" the hair stylist ushered away leaky nipples so that she could give a final touch to furry.

Furry blinked a million times to make sure that she was not dreaming, the mirror was only a hallucination but sadly that wasn't the case...

"So that would be ruppes 3 lakhs only because you had a full body wax, Thai massage, french manicure, Chinese hair cut, vaginal massage, breast cupping plus service charges for our special services for your personal needs..."

Furry clawed out her nails and shaved everyone's hair off and made a gown through which she walked away from the place with dignity. ..

~ The End ~

:'D Ahahahaha

Ok I should seriously stop with my stupid stories but I can't help it xD it like, I just love to write these weird stuffs O.o

~ Eeeehehehehehe *starts coughing*

So, potato was sitting on the toilet doing her own business but then she heard a noise from the stall next to her.

"Gumnam haiii koiiii, badnam haii koi"

Jet black hair was sprawled down on the floor across her foot and two pair of hands shoot up from the door.

The fingers were really long with black colored talons so potato got the urge to use it and scratch her itchy body.

"How dare you use the toilet? No one can use this toilet. From now, you are trapped here forever; this place is your new home"

Potato rolled her body under the stall, through the legs of the witch who stood outside the stall with her body now dangling upside down.

"Ahhhhh! What did I even do? You can't just attack random innocent and booty-full people like me"

Musk melon was standing on her knees with her melons popping out and the witch felt a twinge of jealousy upon looking at melons naturals perfectly shaped melons.

Potato tried to wiggle her away from them but the door was locked so she was trapped here unless she beats the witch to a pulp in a combat dual.

"No one gets to leave, trapped forever... EHEHEHEHEHEHEHE"

The witch began to float in the air with a evil smile on her face.

"Listen melon! You can't sit there and whine about how pathetic your life is and how ugly you are. If you want something then work your hard arse for it"

Potato stood on the toilet seat and shoved the mop between the witches leg.

"I curse that you can never poop in your life again!" The witch's face has become purple in color but potato decided not to show any mercy on her.

"LET IT GO! LET IT GO! CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMOREEEEEE"
Melon pumped her melons up in the air to boost potatoes confidence but sadly potato could no longer hold it in because her butt was about to burst out but nothing seemed to be coming out.

"Don't you think she is annoying? Let's call it a truce and shut this female up"

Potato dropped the mop and the witch slaughtered the melon on the spot then together they sat and ate the fallen melon pieces to tame their hunger.

"I died in the toilet 50 years ago and no one had come here until today. I just needed someone to be with me because I was pretty lonely plus aging had been pretty bad for me so I thought that I would be friendless forever that's why I wanted to trap you and melon with me. Will you be my breast friend?"

Potato looked at the witch and let out a huge fart in the room that made her pass out due to the extensive stink.

"I can never be friends with weaklings. Breast friend itseems! Couldn't even hold up to be my butt friend"

Potato stabbed the remaining piece of melon and walked out of the public bathroom with an oath to never use free public toilets in her life again.

._.

:'D

Don't give me that look! I swear I'm done xD

For now :p

Haha hahaha it was disgusting

Oh and did I mention I'm back? :p I finally ported to an operator that works here so I have Internet and proper signal now *_*

I finished 1 GB in 2 days so I secretly recharged again :3

Hehehehehe *hides face in embarrassment* lol

Btw, is this cover nice?
When I made this cover I realised that it (Almost) looks like the cover for Looking for Alaska by John Green xD
Almost because it's not exactly like that but thoda similar hai

I'm like super frustrated so expect a bunch of weird nonsense rants coming up soon (not immediately today or so but you get the drill nah)