Mein tumhare bacche ki maa ban-ne wali hun.
*cue - jaws dropping down, dramatic gasps followed by echoes of KYA KYA KYA*
SHAADI KARVAO ISKI!
XD

Dun dun dun! I'm going to be ranting about an intresting topic today ;) weddings :')

For those of you who had skipped about the 'TAM' part let me remind you again that I'm a Punjabi girl residing in South India so I have seen and experienced both the sides of this country and I tell you There's so much difference!

That's what I love the most about India; our culture and diversity is what defines our uniqueness.

Anywhales so I have been to a few South Indian and a few North Indian weddings...
South Indian weddings are so silent and serene while the North Indian weddings are loud.

How many weddings have you baby orange potatoes been to? What was your embarrassing/ funny experience?

I have noticed a few things about weddings, people come mostly for the food or for the people *wiggles eyebrows*

There's always this unique aunty who stands out from everyone and is the star of the wedding ceremony that would make people forget about the couple on stage while there is always this uncle who is the star jester for the day with his silly stories and jokes xD

Just this weekend I was at a pre - wedding party and I was thinking of ways to blend into the wall instead of socialising. I mean what am I going to talk to those random strangers that I have never met in my life? Chances are I'm never going to meet them again.

I saw a chocolate fountain so I was happily skipping there but then I saw someone I knew so what do you think I did?
Of course you're right :'D I ran away as fast as I could.

While running away I was shoved to the dance floor by some random aunty who asked me too shake my booty ._.

I really suck at dancing but everyone were jumping up and down like crazy bunnies so I awkwardly stood there trying to move my hands up asked and down but I manage to step on some radnom strangers foot.

"Hey Akanksha! Wow finally I met someone I know. Come on let's get out of here" the babe who I was trying to escape from found me. She kidnapped me to a section near the snacks counter and it would have been rude to leave her so I sat next to her.

"You know I was so excited for this wedding, these ballets are so cheap only 3,000 bucks. The cloth of my lehenga is from Rajasthan..." bleh bleh bleh I passed out while listening to her so called economical expenses.

A delicious aroma made my nostrils to flare up so I just got up and shoved whatever the waiter was having in the plate.

Umm tofu never felt so good... I thought while chewing the foreign food.

"Akanksha it though you were a vegetarian..."
Me eyes widened in disbelief and I look at the waiter boys face who turned the placard that read chicken pops.
I dashed from the place as fast as my feet could carry to the restroom. LOL xD

Anywhales things went on quite dramatically and the wedding was a success.

Why is there always that one person who tries to hook you up with someone during weddings?

A few months ago I was asked to look after my cousins and this aunty gives me a creepy kind of smile that made me shiver.
"You are looking after children so that means you are ready to get married and settle down. That's so nice of you" the lady rambled on while I choked on my drink.

"I'm hardly 20 Aunty," I mumbled while shooing the kids away to the snacks area.

"When I was your age I had my third child" was her response *pregnant silence*

"So any guy in your life? No one? I know a really wonderful person that you should see. He is my neighbours, best friends, sister's, daughter-in-laws nephew. He is also studying business. 5'9 inch, tall, handsome and very ethical.... Why you not intrested? You are into Females kya? What do you mean by not interested? You will become a priest? Who will increase the population of the family then? After 25 *gasps*  that's so late! Everyone will be married by then." Yipide yapide bopie doo:^

No exaggeration here ._. You will literally find these match making aunties everywhere who would have already planned the color of your second babies diaper.

When I go to weddings or functions I always think 'how can the people stand on the stage for so long and smile at the camera till the last guest arrives?'

I always make sure to sit away from the photographers but somehow (every fucking time) these photographers manage to snap a picture of me when my mouth is open and I look like an animal ravishing it's prey :3

Chuck all these useless thing's, why do people like to spend lavishly on weddings? I mean I get that it's 'THE DAY' but instead of holding a wedding that people would remember don't you wish for a wedding that people would actually love to be in no matter what or how it has been planned?

No matter what you do, people eat,burp, fart, pass a comment then forget about the wedding unless something fabulous had happened.

Most of the time my eyes widen in disbelief when I see ladies glamored up with ornaments head to toe; They are like frigging open ATM'S.

I remember a few things I noticed during  wedding, PEOPLE ALWAYS TALK!

Let me brief up a few things:-
There were People who actually started fanning themselves and we're like 'What a place? A/C is not working properly. Must be some 2 and a half star place. The food is not gourmet! Jewellery is too less. Oh my the curtains of the hall are plain Cotton. I don't like the bride's skin tone, how did she get the guy? He must be marrying her for money. The couple are having a love marriage, why couldn't they let their parents decide a life partner for them. They could have spent a little bit more money and this wedding would have been lavish. Did you see that woman's dress? I saw her already wearing it for a previous occasion. She has outdated fashion.

Honestly the list goes on :|
Marriage is a sacred ceremony and if the bride and groom are happy nothing else should matter but at times it looks like otherwise.

Not everyone are rich enough to throw a lavish wedding; a lot of hard earned money is literally burnt during weddings.

So this was my rant for... WAIT!
HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT THIS *SMACKS HEAD*

Gifts!!!! The flowers you give the couple would most probably end up getting crushed under a person arse in the car or it just wilts in the place from a long time. Not many people actually buy gifts unless the couple is really near to them :p people give away the gifts they had received during an occasion :'D

I know it's a useless opinion but I like people who hand over money in the form of shagun to the couple. What I mean to say is though we all love gifts but unless we really know what the person wants it's useless giving them something that they don't like and will probably never use so the gift will pass on from one family to another till it reaches back to you someday in the future :p

If you give them shagun a part of the money invested in the wedding is actually got back so it may reduce the burden even if it's 1%... just think about it

I love gifts (Who doesn't?) But I would prefer getting something useful instead of an article that will whither away xD

Well that's my opinion and you will have yours so feel free to point out your views but be subtle and not brutual :p

Oh oh! Don't forget about those people who take only selfies in weddings and nothing else. My uncle asked me if these girls are trying to imitate a duck face with out a quack :'D

Until next time baby potatoes :*