I don't know anything! What do I do?

I scream in frustration while he gives me a half amused and a half pointed look.

My fingers stop running over the bold curves, I drag my hands over a few stretched line's; everything was an enigma yet I wanted to satisfy myself of getting everything done right.

I shamelessly run my fingers all over the body, my breathing becomes ragged, my pupils are dialect while my lips are busy sucking and nipping at the tip of the long wood.

I use all my energy pouring my heart out to get it done faster but it's so hard and long...
Why can't I get the god damn answer? Why is Maths so difficult? I swear that my text book is giving me a pointed look saying "I can never get the answers right so I should stop trying."

Buwahahaha what did you horny kids think I was talking about :p
You had naughty thoughts eh ;)

I'm going to rant about MATHS *gasps*

I have an allergy to maths :| the last time I studied maths was during my 10th grade then I took commerce wih computer science instead of business maths.

Numbers give me a headache! So many formulas to remember and not to mention, the haunting experience while writing a maths exam.

Whenever I had a maths exam I had just one question in my mind, "Am I doing it right?"
Whenever I got the answer in a span of few minutes I used to think that there is definitely something wrong and when I never got the answer i automatically assumed that the question must be wrong.

While looking up for college admission forms I asked the facilities to give me only those forms for which the course doesn't have maths so I ended up taking B.com CS
Hallelujah! Not!

Other than maths I now have to play with numbers in subjects like Accounts(Financial,Corporate,Cost,Management) Economics, Statistics, Income Tax etc etc.  *cries*

During class a teacher would teach us questions like
1+1=2
10÷5 =2
But during exams questions turn out like these.
Monica has 65 apples , she divided three chocolates between 17 people and she is left with 4 oranges. Calculate the root of sugarcane and then find the distance covered by the truck in carrying the eggs purchased my Monica's step brothers paternal uncle!!!
*_*

I am not exaggerating :| this is a serious issue. Just for maths subject we used to maintain a minimum of 4 books!

I was (still am) extremely weak in maths and that subject made me cry like no tomorrow so my mom suggested me to go for tuition *gasps* I can never those few days I had gone for tuition.

My parents and I searched for good tuition centers but It was really hard plus expensive. There was this man who used to take 500 bucks for half an hour everyday if you wanted to learn maths from him, he guaranteed that any student who learns from him WILL SCORE A CENTUM IN BOARDS.

I was not willing to let him eat up that much money, I gave my 10th boards during March 2011 so if I had taken classes during the whole of 2010 imagine how much I should have paid him!

I had never been to a tuition center ever so I was like a mouse hunting for a cheese for the first time without any guidance while the cats around me were rubbing their paws.

It was not exactly a tuition center but rather a home school kind of center, you know what I mean? Nah? Leave it XD

The lady who thought us maths was around 55-60 years old.

The lady didn't teach us what was being thought in our class but went according to her own wishes.

Aowowjbwvanaoqohwvs+¥×€×^:×"!/! €1

Most of the kids were from state board so they began to teach and learn from each other while I was stuck with a guy who studied in a matriculation school like me.

As I already told you before I have no male friends so it was for the first time I had been in the presence of the opposite specimen for than the 5 minutes.(uncles and brothers not included)

Instead of studying with him I began to hyperventilate.
He used to be like "Let's subtract the cover of the book and divide the pages and multiply our answers."
*Cue creep look*
Le moi wiggling my way away from him till my back touched the wall.

when I went to the teacher for doubts she made me stay back and teach the little kids of other grade. This went on for 2 weeks then she understood my dilemma when our BUT exam (Brother's Union Test) had come.
She made me come to her classes in the morning but it was the same thing again :| I just sat there doing nothing and my grades went shamelessly lower than I could have thought so I quit tuition.

Mind you,  people think State board exams are easy but we had to write exams for totally 12 subjects :| for some people it's easy while for people with tiny pea pod brains like mine it was a struggle xD

Anywhales I'm bored of all the shit I ranted so let me get straight to the point.

HOW DO YOU MATHS LOVERS SURVIVE? HOW COME THE NUMBERS DON'T GIVE YOU A HEADACHE *_*

Whenever I had my maths exam; I prayed to God like no tomorrow.

More than studying the contents given in the  portions I used to jot down points like this chapter is to be omitted, oh wow this concent has these many sums and all are same I will definitely work out all of it out to prove my brain that I'm intelligent and satisfy myself by getting all these answers right. Pufft this was easy as pie.

For me, the night before the exam always goes like this:
Yea bhi hogaya,(this is complete)
Woh bhi hogaya,(that has been also been finished)
Yea nahi ayega, (this won't come)
Yea pakka ayega.(this will pakka come)

After writing the exam - bas hogaya (somehow it's done)

During results - Ai ki hogaya?? (what the fuck happened?)

Pulls my hair out then sheds bucket loads of tears *cries*

I tried to love the subject because when you love something and have a passion for it; it will seem to be easy but that just never happened.

Maths shall forever be the subject I dread the most! I would prefer to read history and geography over maths any day xD heck I would love to sit and learn about sex eduction also ;) but that won't happen here anytime soon :'D

When I look back at the time when maths was in my syllabus, a smile automatically gets placed on lips because no matter what or how he subject is, Maths always ignited a fire in me to get the answers right. It was like a treasure hunting expedition that made me greedy so I didn't stop when I found a few diamonds. I admit I had failed in so many maths tests and I cried myself to sleep whenever the marks haunted me at night but somehow my maths teacher helped us (the weaklings) to enjoy the subject and pull through.

I don't miss school nor my classmates, I only miss a few teachers because they were literally angels for people like me as they made us believe that we are all not worthless. We might lack at something but we definitely excel at something that no one else could match with us.

I'm getting emotional here, I'm going to open up a piece of me... This is not related to my ranting topic so read if you want to *shrugs*

I was like an outcast in school, my friends were not who they claimed to be as they were all selfish brats, I was shattered and broken but I pulled through. I still don't know what my talent is but I found passion in writing, it takes away my pain and lonliness, it decreases the ache in my heart.

Remember one thing, if no one is with you during your dark phase, they don't deserve to be with you only during your lighter phase.

I know how it is to be all alone. Though you are surrounded by people you know you are still alone.  I have been there and it sucks to be in a dark pit with no ray of light or hope; all I saw was blackness, I felt numb but I didn't let the people around me crumble me just because I couldn't do something they were good at.

When I meet people I don't offer them friendship because I'm fucking scared to get hurt again and my heart won't be able to handle any more drama but if you want to talk to a person I'll listen to you :) not just me but there are wonderful people out there! I have met so many wonderful people and it's delightful to know that humanity hasn't faded.

People keep telling me "Oh please, you are so cool, downright hillarious and what not. You can never be lonely or sad."
I calm down my fist itching to punch them for their assumption but I just smile and tell them,
"A person who makes others smile the most is the person who hides their pain the most in an attempt to make someone else happy."

Yes I love making people happy because I feel that we all deserve to be happy, you see that person who is totally lonely? The world is starting to fill with hatred and we need to spread love and peace.

Never considered yourself worthless and don't let anyone make you feel less of yourself. We are all beautiful humans beings with emotions that may either build or destroy us. We are all born with a purpose in life :)
You may not physically hurt someone bu your words might leave a permanent scar on someone so please don't do that!
Everyday just try to make someone happy :) after all a smile is the best accessory a person can posses ^_^

***

My next rant will be about weddings and I promise no more deep heart talks like the above one *wipes away my tears*

I was asked to rant about Maths by @radhika_0309 ♡

I'm sorry this rant turned out to be crappy(and emotions got in the way) :3 I swear the next Rant on weddings will be fuck balls xD I'm half way done so... lol whatever