Hello booty-full hoomans of orange fantasy land.

How many of you are comfortable in your skin?

Before anyone of you burst your tits and frizz out the breast milk let me tell you that I have taken a course in cosmetology so I do know the basics of it and I'm not ranting about it like an idiot without knowing any shit just because I want to rant out my brainy hormones nonsense.

People say 'you feel good, you look good, don't give a crap about what others think'

My trainer had only one word to say for it all and it was bullshit.

My and my mates just started at her like gadgets with broken batteries because we didn't know what to respond to her.

"People judge you for how you look and what you wear so even though you may be comfortable in what you wear, you can't be a fool to wear something wrong for a wrong occasion. You need to step up your game at times because the world in not filled with people who would pass it by. Remarks maybe thrown but you should be able to jut your chin out arrogantly because you know who you are and you did good."

She gave us a speech that we might try to cake our faces but beauty comes from our inner souls. We must worship our bodies and learn to accept ourselves the way we are because if we don't then how can we accept someone else to think the same about us?

We need to know that we are all beautiful! But please learn to atleast make an attempt to present yourself good.

She roamed her gaze over all of us like fucking hawks and her eyes twitched upon seeing me because before the class started I ran into the room like a maniac and I had apparently disturbed her peace of mind because she was doing meditation.

In my defence, it was bloody raining outside and I had to attend the class even on Sunday so sue me and my madness for storming the door open to protect myself *sighs*

I'm going to sum up everything I had learned during my cosmetology course into one period :p

~ THE ART OF BEING BOOTY-FULL~

"We are going to start wih the basics and that's threading" Rose spoke while razoring a students hair till there was no hair left on the skin.

We all gaped as we watched Rose, our trainer, skilfully moving her calloused fingers over a students forehead followed by upper lips till there was no lips to be found.

"Now all of you find guinea pigs and practice on each other" she handed us each a razer thread after which we attacked each other to remove any kind of hair we got.

"Akanksha! I need furrrr" My best friend turned monster ran the thread across my neck so I pushed her down and launched my body over hers and ran the thread over her arms.

We had successfully managed to create a zebra pattern across our skins then we stopped trimming our fur, I mean hair when excess of it made its way into our tongues.

"Calm down booties! Next what I'm going to teach you is.... WAXING"

We looked at each other with grim faces. I mean, this was a class so whoever was chosen had to lay down on the seat with 30 girls, 60 eye balls over her body while rose the trainer ran her skillfully large, muscular yet soft fingers over the chosen students body filled with hair.

"Haye, free waxing? Choose me! Choose me miss"
Sweet corn peeled half of her clothes and layed down on the bed with an eager face.

"Observe me carefully ok?" We nodded at rose who dipped a killer knife in the waxing machine then buttered the girls legs who let out a low growl.

"Is it paining darling?"

"Mmmmm" sweet corn motioned at rose to do it soon so without further ado, Rose pulled at the waxing sheet and one of us cored sweet corns mouth to muffle her scream while the clouds began to roar with thunder with each passing second.

"Ok so I finished waxing one of her legs and I'm leaving the other one for you. Wax her hands and underarms also if you want to." Sweet corn shook her head when she noticed that Rose had left her like a pawn among the hungry thirsty students.

"Oh this is going to be fun" My bestie smirked while rubbing at the wax sheet and motioned for others to tie down the wriggling sweet corn.

I turned away because I couldn't watch sweet corn being stripped away of her body hair.

~~~

Sweet corn stopped screaming when she realised that the torture was finally over and now she had a smooth creamy skin that too without paying anything! She always loved free things in life and wanted more even though it came with a large amount of danger.

"DaH- LingS! This is what I love the most! Pedicure and manicure. Who wants to be my guinea pig?"

All of us raised our hands up in the air and pushed each other so that Rose would choose us.

"Umm Eenie menie minie whatever MOO" she pointed at me but my friend began to rant about her so called non existent pathetic life and I wanted her to shut up so with a heavy heart I shook my head and asked Rose to do it on my chipmunk instead who didn't say no even once and happily skidded towards Rose

"Oh how much I wish I got a manicure!"
Everyone began to whisper while I watched my friend who got everything she needed because of the puppy dog face she pulls and I felt like snacking myself for letting such an opportunity go.

"I want to massage your legs but you need to get a pedicure first" Rose looked at me with an expectant look but thankfully one girl was more than willing to do my pedicure without me asking for it because my feet looked clean than the others.

"It's so much fun" I bit on my lips when the girl stabbed my toe with some sharp object while cleaning the corner of my nails.

"It's loving it" she began to tickle the sole of my foot and I kicked the tub of water in her direction but she began to tickle me more until I passed out because of laughing too hard and I woke up with a feel of large muscular yet soft fingers roaming over my legs.

"Oh good you are finally awake" Rose began to carry on doing things to my leg while chipmunk gave a thumbs up and made and made and video of Rose massaging my foot.

"Uhh ma'am I think that's enough." Rose began to tug and pull at my toe fingers like I was a cow and she wanted to milk something out and it felt really weird.

"The fun has only began! Oh wait we don't have much time so we will move on to something else"

Rose began to teach us fancy hairstyles, one amazing bridal hairstyle,  oil massage and so much more.

"Anyone wants to learn facial? Of course! You paid for the course so you have to learn"

She steamed a girls face and removed her non existent black heads then punched her fingers over her skin in the name of massage.

"Your fingers are going under my nose! Stop pulling at my nose hair"

"What in the world is happening here? " our second trainer entered the class with a shocked expression on her face then her eye began to twitch when she saw me again.

Ok now this is getting really embarrassing. I just hope we can leave soon so I don't have to see her again in my life.

"Pack up! I want to teach these kitties MACUP"

"Eh?" We all looked at her trying to think what in the world was she going to teach us.

"MACUP KITTIES!  MASACCARA, LIP GLASS, FUNDATION ETC"

"Ma'am you mean make up?"

"That's what I said! MACUP! "

"So, I forgot to introduce myself in the morning. I'm Mrs Fabulous and I have come here to teach you macup then how to love your bodies then we pack up and get lost to our respective homes"

*pregnant silence*

"Macup is an art. Don't use cheap macup! Your face deserves a million dollar product. Macup is just like decorating food before the final presentation. You maybe juicy from inside but who would want you when you don't look juicy?"

*pregnant silence*

"Uhh"

"Sush rose! You've been with them for a long time and it's my time to shine my torch on the"

Mrs. fabulous took out a mac make up box and asked (forced)a girl to sit on the saloon chair.

"SO kitties, the key to look juicy is to be edible. Have a balance of sweetness and spicyness"

She began to paint (literally) the girls face with mascara then she began to bounce like a horny bunny and asked the girl to make love to the cherry lip stick.

"I love these flavoured lipsticks because when I'm hungry I just eat them. I was munching on this lipstick before it came here"
When Mrs. Fabulous want looking a the student,she grabbed a tissue and spat the content of her lips.

"You should make heads turn wherever you go but I prefer If I make balls turn around. You know what I mean?" She winked while stabbing the girls cheeks with blusher and for a moment I thought that it was a country tomato and not cheeks.

"Mwah Mwah! My hands have worked their magic"
She looked at the girl whose eyes became glassy and it was definitely not tears of joy.

"Why you standing like that? Take a photo o my art work" I snapped my mouth shut and I didn't refrain from making a comment that my 8 year old niece was far better in doing make up then her.

"Now this is the part you were all waiting for. BODY LOVE! THEN WE PACK UP"

She asked us to lie down on the mats and copy her steps of some yoga techniques that would help us get better bodies.

"You kitties should learn to to be flexible like this one. She how wonderfully she can work her body backwards and upwards. No bananas for anyone of you."
She shook her head in shame while we cried while bending our bodies in odd angles.

I even heard my bone cracking but didn't utter a word because only a few minutes were left for our class to end.

"When you go home, start worshipping your bodies everyday preferably in front of the mirror. Learn the art of self pleasure. You feel good,you look good. Satisfy your inner organs with good food like bananas and carrots."

I looked at my friend to notice her looking back adept me with wide eyes.

"Is she talking what I think she is? Or we have corrupted minds?"

"Is hope it's the latter. I really hope so"

"And that’s why I do breast massaging, you you can use a bit of lime near your vaginal area and that will cleanse the dark area a bit"

At that moment, my brain automatically tuned out to whatever she was speaking.

~~~

I might have exaggerated a bit here and there :p I chopped down the content because I was started that I'm a whiny ranter Lol.

I wanted to work at a saloon so when I came to know about the basic course I happily gave my name but then began to have second thought about it for various reasons.

I have cut my mom's hair to experiment hairstyles and she went to the parlour the next day to get it fixed xD

I have successfully done oil massages, waxing, pedicure, manicure, facial, threading (not eyebrow)for a few people(obviously for free only)

The only reason I took it up was because I was tired of going to the saloon only for the lady to judge me for not maintaining myself well enough.

I'm not kidding. You see, before I had started getting my hair cuts , I had gone too a parlour for the first time for hair cut and waxing as it was untameable and the first thing the lady did was snarl and said that I have  the most ugliest hair she had ever seen and she won't feel like cutting it.

I snapped at her and get out of the parlour.

A few ladies used to be like "Haww,  so much hair on arms and legs blah blah"

Thankfully I found a parlour where the ladies there were chirpy and helped me to boost my self esteem a bit saying they themselves have ample of body hair and they could easily plate it so I needn't worry about my looks.

The parlour owner had silky long hair yet before she cut my hair, she touched it and said that I should think twice because of the beautiful curls I had that won't be seen if it's gone.

Her words were definitely not sugar coated and she genuinely liked my hair but I was done, I couldn't manage it and got it chopped followed by many more experiments.

I help a few of the my friends by teaching them whatever I know because they have told me about receiving snarly comments for not looking good enough.

Some people also bore allergic to waxing, some are allergic to a few cosmetics. Not everyone can help to make themselves look more beautiful because of a reason unknown to us.

I know you must be thinking "beauty isn't everything" but sadly people will judge you for your looks.

Puberty had forgotten me so I had to take matters into my own hands as I couldn't bear the 'looks comment's'

When I see someone down because of their looks, I try my best to help them because it's a very depressing stage.

At time's I show them my old self and they they be like "Fuck. Is it really you?" LOL

If you ever see someone with so much body hair, joint eye brows, pale nails etc please be subtle with your talks. Your wrong chocie of words may strike a big chord on that person's heart.

No one wants to hear that they are fat, dark or not beautiful enough.

I was a chubby girl who was born with a skin shade not fair enough and yes comments were made that I was a dark baby :|

Humans weird attitude irks me at times *SMH*

Anywhales you guys want me to rant on anything ? ._. My brain is going haywire with ideas but I'm planning to choose a topic suggested by anyone of you xD