Hello *darts my eyes across all of you*

ALOHA!  HOW HAVE YOU ALL BEEN? LONG TIME NO SEE EH?

How's everything going? :)

Well this one is not exactly a rant but more of me bak- bakking about random things xD I think I will pakau you all today  lol.

Beware! This will be a very loooooong rant of mine

Last Wednesday I relocated to a new place in the city...

Who knew that going to a new place would be this weird ?

I took a day off from college so that I could help out my parents with the shifting process.

I gave away all my stuff toys, my arts and crafts things, game boards, books, and what not (willingly of course)

I never knew I had so many things till I transfered my stuffs in the cartoon boxes O.o

When did I ever buy them? Did they magically appear? HOW?! LOL

Anywhales let's skip all of this...

~Next Day~
I was taking a two foot box outside to the dumpster box while this lady popped right in front of me out of no where and started firing questions at me in tamil.

I stood there blinking at her while she kept trying to get "information" out of me.

I asked her to slow down cos I ain't fluent in tamil and she was like haaaaww you don't know tamil? Shame ! -.-

I asked her if she knows English or hindi and she shook her head then I hawked back at her (don't give me that look!) She was
Making a face upon hearing my mixed accent tamil lol

Fast forward, I tried to mix up but all the people in the ground floor are all 60+ and I found no one of my age.

I went to the terrace in hopes of seeing a lid playing or even in the play area but I found no one *gasps in horror*

So with a long face I was going back home and this lady in a rocking chair motioned me to come near to her.

When I reached her I saw that her body was filled with tattoos.

I started to call her modern tattoo wali grandma xD

I found another grandma who is absolutely a doll and I call her Hindi bolne wali devi grandma <3 xD

Anywhales so ... I was desperate to make a friend of my age so I was roaming up and down the apartment like a maniac and then I resorted to standing in the kitchen and whenever someone passed by, I immediately looked up to observe that person in the parking lot opposite to our kitchen lol :'D

I found no one *sighs* *cries*

The most absolutely horrifying thing is that Internet connection doesn't work at this place at all!

When I left my old place, I had put my a new Internet pack but when I saw no signal I thought that it might some error or stuffs but no!

YOU CAN'T CONNECT TO THE HOOMANS OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD :/

Forrget Internet, only two to three telecoms operator's work well here *gasps*
I have ported like around 4 times and I am in no mood to change my telecom operator again -.- but *drum rolls* I found a spot where somehow I got one reception bar and my Internet works there <3
*it's near the toilet lol*

So what I do is that I keep my Internet switched on In college so that I could finish the net pack I paid for because I can't finish it at home *sighs*

Anywhales...

Where was I?  Never mind

*sounds of a cricket hooting around*

Oh oh! Let me tell you my friends experience while sitting for a job interview xD she gave me permission to write onky half of the stuffs so here I go hehe

So this friend of mine, let's call her kachori ;)

Kachori sat for a company recently and her experience was... I have no words to say!lol

So this CEO of the company came and gave some heads up and this is how her day went summed up in a few lines

~ Le shocking day ~

Kachori was fumbling in her seat but there was a twinkle of excitement in her eyes, she hoped that this company turned good for her and she would remain loyal to them as an employee for a long run.

The CEO walked into the room actin all high and mighty, there was an aura of arrogance around him but he presented himself as otherwise.

The first thing he did when he opened his mouth was cursing the other so called good software companies with the use age of words like 'bullshit, screw them etc'

Fast forward this to the GD  (group discussion round)

The man asked them to develop a product where the customers could meet their soul mates without even trying, so samosa was like I will develop a product where when I keep my hand on a person's back we would get a vibe stating that such a person is suitable as a life partner or not.

The CEO looked at them then he turned to all the girls and asked them how would they react if some random person came from behind and place their hand on your shoulder.
Jalebi told that she would say hi and exhale phone numbers wtih the person, aloo tikki said she would tap them back and give them a nod then the CEO turned towards M friend  (kachori) then with a laugh said "by looking at your face I think you would have grabbed and smashed my balls"

*pregnant silence*

There was another chance and another round for this product development thingy and this time kachori told these people that she would develop a wrist band which would give a different glow that would state the nature of a person by analyzing the tone and the dude there who was conducting the round laughed then asked her "if" I want to sleep with you tomorrow, how will you know? Will your device help you.

Safe to say, kachori, samosa, Jalebi,  aloo tikki , gol gappe,  panic puri etc etc (all the chaat items) epicly and willingly deperformed so that they wouldn't get selected at this company LOL.

while I'm typing this I heard someone  singing so when I went upto the window, I saw a 8 ish year old boy with his hands in his pockets an his heels rocking back and forth singing manma emotion jaage re, manma mera dil jage :"D
Some kids are so cute!

Anywhales....

I turned older yesterday!
Yesterday I had my last internals and I wanted to hit the bed so badly somehow I kept myself wide awake.

Ek toh I hadn't got sleep because of these exams, over that phones don't work here so I can't connect with the outside world unless I port myself to another telecom company (AGAIN)

I'm tired of porting my sim to a new company :/

Why can't these people keep strong signal towers everywhere?

Stupid landline also hasn't started working. Kept asking the officials when it will start working and they keep saying today.

(They have been saying today your landline will start working since the past 10 days)

So if anyone of you is thinking "Why is Akanksha not sending a bunch of comments in my uploaded story..."

I'm sorry but if you update your book I don't even get notified :o and it takes ages to load because of the poor signal -.-

The last story I updated (Bittersweet book) was because I typed it out in college and uploaded there during break ;p

I'm so bored someone come here and play shuttle with me or any outdoor games !

Gosh I miss playing outside
*sounds of my bones crackling due to non existent physical activities*

What was your favorite childhood game? Any reminiscence that you would like to share with all of us ? :)

The best game I like is cart game :p
You know those carts to keep your groceries in supermarkets or the carts to keep your luggage in airport?
Well *sheepish face*
I sat in one cart and pushed myself around till one security guard came upto me and gave me a stern look xD he didn't ask me to stop so I kept moving but then my mom saw me wiggling butt and legs to move that damn trolley around :"D

And yes people were looking at me :3 but I saw a man smiling at my actions then he took out his luggage and asked the female to take care if It so that he could also take a around but that female didn't allow him.

Ok now this is getting boring so let me make pointers wale rants :p

~ Things that irritate me ~ [maybe even you :p]

~ Screeching sounds

I HATE THEM!
I hate it when someone scratches their nails on the boards and that sound absolutely irritates my ears -.-
All these ringing/screechy sounds makes me want to break the things that create the noise :3

~ Deliberate Miss calls 

You know that person who keeps giving you a miss call? No? Well you are one lucky potato.
Thankfully my college classmates are not like this but the ones (not all)I met in school were absolutely kanjus :@
There was this female who kept giving me miss calls and once when I picked it up she screamed at me to cut it and call her back because she doesn't have balance.

Like Bruh, where does all your money go? Like you don't have balance once in a while and stuffs then its ok but stop giving miss calls to people 24/7 FOR YOUR WORK!
THERE SOMETHING CALLED RECHARGE

There's a girl I know who used to give me miss calls everyday and asked me to do her homework, call someone up and inform them something, asked me to bring her some punjabi food.

This female never once thanked me for anything I did and she called me selfish when I asked her to stop making me work like she is some kind of the queen -.-

My mom put some sense into me and asked me to not hold onto such people who only use others as and when they want to.

I kept thinking "nah, she is nice. She must be having a bad time so let me help her. Pavum girl bleh bleh.." but idk when or how but yeah I'm thankful that some sense hit knocked into my brain when I dropped her home because she had her periods and her dress was almost dirty but the next day she blankly ignored me and I was like fuck you. Your not worth it lol

~ People giving "free tips and advices"

Do I even need to tell how irritating this Is?
Like people don't bother to hear the whole story and start to open their big fat mouth and give away GYAN

I just remembered a quote by K.R.K
"You are 2 R.S people"

Lmao two ruppes people itseems :'D only Indians who know him and who know Hindi would know th meaning behind this :p

~ you know what?! Never mind

Is there anyone you know who makes a face then motions you to listen to her the after speaking a few lines she is like never mind?

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME SOMETHING AND NOT COMPLETE IT? IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SAY IT THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME IN THE FIRST PLACE? I WANT TO STRANGLE YOUR NECK WITH A POTATO PEEL ;@
Jwowbwbwbspslqnwnb ₩+¥×?×,#/(×,

~ Queues
I'm not saying I hate standing in the queue but I don't like it when someone cuts in :/

I don't know about you but I have seen people who fidget while standing in queues, most of us don't complain out loud but yeah when we see someone who marches upfront while ignoring the queue while we stand there like a bunch of idiots...
Makes your last wish soon buddy!

A few days ago I was in a queue for some officials related work thingy and one madam asked me to catch a place because she had to me a quick run. That madam never returned for another half an hour or so but when my turn was almost over this madam popped out of nowhere and told me that she was sitting in a corner whole watching the queue go front so that she could join later.

Aaj kal bhalai ka toh zamana hi nahi raha :/ selfish people! She could have asked me to take turns so that we both could switch standing In the queue or sitting down -.-

~ flying spit

You remember that professor from Main Hoon na? How Shah Rukh Khan kept dodging him when he spoke because that man kept spitting xD

It looked funny on screen but in real life it's yuck when someone keeps throw in their saliva randomly on your body parts :/

The writer's of smut books would make this sound sexy eventhough it's not lol

~ Loud burps and darts openly in the public area.

I get it... When we have to, we need... no no, WE MUST FART! IT'S NECESSARY!
But can you try to be discreet about it?

A few years ago I was doing yoga in our academy hall and the person who stood in line before us gave out a big loud smacking fart right on our faces. She had the audacity to smile!!! Then she burped

Absolutely disgusting!

Like can you wiggle your butt and fart out in installments so that the smell is reduced?
Yeah? Thank you!

~ cats sitting on your items and sexually rubbing their fur against it

My cat used to do this xD she wanted to claim everything as hers and she has a weird look In her eyes when she touches things o.o

Have you seen those item songs in bollywood films? Yeah my cat used to shake her booty and jiggles herself like that at random moments LOL

~ People who ALWAYS COME late

Yeah Yeah, the alarm didn't go off, you over slept, you had to errands, your cat munched on your furniture, your body was entangled with your boyfriend...

Every single day?

You can become late once in a while but always going to a place fashionably late is not cool.

It's irritating! Especially when people are waiting for you since hours and every time we call that person they claim to be on the way.

You call them up and they claim to be changing  their clothes but in real they would be scratching their butt. You patiently wait for another half to one hour and call them again and they claim to be on the way but in real they would be in the potty seat doing their business.

You get impatient but after 100 more years they finally show their face and pretend that they turned up just 5 mins late due to the non existent traffic

Oh! Cat munching  se yaadh aya... :'D

Last week before internals we were asked to submit our assignment relaying to value education  (the trainer so uber cool. Will tell you more about her in details soon)
And tomato (from the crush rant)
Submitted a book that was totally damaged.

The front page was missing, the rest of the pages were uneven and the corners were torn :"D

She claimed that her dog ate it!

I have always read jokes about a student telling his teacher  that his dog ate his homework but seeing it happen in real life was weird and funny. Gosh u should have taken as photo but hopefully she wouldn't allow me to post it *sighs*

Ok now my fingers are paining *sobs*

Will hopefully be able to come online properly soon :/

Happy birthday to whoever  is celebrating their birthday today ♡

P.s - anyone whose birthday was yesterday? Any birthday twin? *eager face*