Mon père a l'air tellement plus... dure avec moi... j'en pleure... je voulais partir... j'en peux plus de cette souffrance...

Voilà quelques chansons que je les écoute dans ces moments...

"Difficiles"...

[Il devrait y avoir un GIF ou une vidéo ici. Procédez à une mise à jour de l'application maintenant pour le voir.]

"I'm caught up in your expectations
You're trying to make me live your dream
But I'm causing you so much frustration
And you "only want the best for me"
You wanted me to show more interests
To always keep a big bright smile
Be that pinky little perfect princess
But I'm not that type of child
And this storm is rising inside of me
Don't you feel that our whole worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe
It hurts deep inside

Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away
And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out

The Silent Scream

Tell me why you're putting pressure on me
And everyday you 'cause me harm
That's the reason why I feel so lonely
Even though you hold me in your arms
Wanna put me in a box of glitter
But I'm just trying to get right out
And now you're feeling so so bitter
Because I've let you down
And this storm is rising inside of me
Don't you feel that our whole worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe
It hurts deep inside

Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away
And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out

The Silent Scream

Can't you see how I cry for help
'Cause you should love me just for being myself
I'll drown in an ocean
Of pain and emotion
If you don't save me right away

Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away
And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out

The Silent Scream

My Silent Scream"

[Il devrait y avoir un GIF ou une vidéo ici. Procédez à une mise à jour de l'application maintenant pour le voir.]

"I can't handle these pressures
All I can say is, this stress hurts
Things are supposed to get better
I just need to put myself first
I'm always trying my hardest
Not to pick myself apart, this
Energy's killing my vibes now
Sometimes I just wanna drown out
All of the thoughts in my mind, too much
Going on at the same time, I
Wish it would stop and I've tried, but
Life just sucks then we all die
That's just reality, yeah, don't lie to me
Yeah, I'm fucked up, but I don't wanna be
I wonder if I'm good enough
Or maybe I've just had too much
To drink, to smoke, to swallow
I'm drowning up my sorrows
There's rules I'll never follow
Pretend there's no tomorrow
I wish there was no tomorrow
But I'm empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Wish I could erase my memories
So I could stop feeling so empty
I wish that shit wasn't so tempting
But it's hard to resist when there's plenty
Of things I could do to fuck me up
I want to let go, but I'm feeling so stuck
So all I can do is fill up my cup
And sit here alone hoping no one disrupts
That's just reality, yeah, don't lie to me
Yeah, I'm fucked up, but I don't wanna be
I wonder if I'm good enough
Or maybe I've had just too much
To drink, to smoke, to swallow
I'm drowning up my sorrows
There's rules I'll never follow
Pretend there's no tomorrow
I wish there was no tomorrow
But I'm empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah, I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
My body's shaking
My head is aching
It feels like my heart is breaking
My body's shaking
My head is aching
I can't fix this mess I'm making
But I'm empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah, I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die"

[Il devrait y avoir un GIF ou une vidéo ici. Procédez à une mise à jour de l'application maintenant pour le voir.]

"I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything
I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human
I can take so much
Until I've had enough
'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah"

[Il devrait y avoir un GIF ou une vidéo ici. Procédez à une mise à jour de l'application maintenant pour le voir.]

"We used to hide under the covers
Serenade each other with careless melodies
Something buried deep inside us
The major and the minor, we're like piano keys
You played for me
You played for me, oh oh
You played for me
I swear it, even in my sleep
I hear it like the memory of everything we used to be
You played for me
You played for me
You played for me
You played for me
We couldn't stop the world from turning
It was like a whirlwind, scattered us like leaves
But I'm stuck inside a feeling, a song that never leaves
We were like a symphony
You played for me
You played for me, oh oh
You played for me
I swear it, even in my sleep
I hear it like the memory of everything we used to be
You played for me
You played for me
You played for me
You played for me
You played for me"

[Il devrait y avoir un GIF ou une vidéo ici. Procédez à une mise à jour de l'application maintenant pour le voir.]

"Awake I open my eyes to see, a hospital? So white, and clean. I was walking up to the roof, I think, they can't recall at all a single thing! Held a hand for me, you were there. I know, but couldn't reach me. That would fall down all the time. And stand, and reach my hand to see~.

Have you tried crossing over yet?

I, wanna die! Wanna die!

But don't really wanna die.

You were there, you would care, making me aware.

Every scar, all the blood, more and more they're never done. Not enough not enough...

I, wanna die! Wanna die!

But don't really wanna die.

If I died you would cry and I don't know why.

Every scar. All the blood more and more they're never done.

Not enough not enough...

When~, I forget you I'm all alone, without a place to go but then ! Play the mirror like a show. The past, I used to know. A dream~! Till I see ever part of me eyes are red and flowing.

I wanna live, wanna live.

Deep inside I've always been. Reaching out for a hand so don't let this be the end. Mushrooms growing on my head. Still remember even then, where you are when I'm dead?

I, wanna die! Wanna die!

But don't really wanna die.

You were there, you would care, no it really isn't fair.

Every time I forgot, you remain inside my thoughts.

Not enough not enough.

I, wanna die! Wanna die! Wanna die!

But I still couldn't die with you by my side! Behind the days I spent alone, afraid! Now we're here~, to stay~

Oo~

And the scars, never fade. Memories that replay, rewind yet again to the pain we felt on that day~

[Il devrait y avoir un GIF ou une vidéo ici. Procédez à une mise à jour de l'application maintenant pour le voir.]

"Silent, I can't wait here silent
Working up a storm inside my head
Nothing, I just stood for nothing
So I fell for everything you said

Hear the rumble
Hear my voice
Silent, I can't wait here silent
Gotta make a change and make some noise

Undo my sad
Undo what hurts so bad
Undo my pain
Gonna get out, through the rain
I know that I am over you
At last I know what I should do
Undo my sad love

Trouble, baby I'm in trouble
Every time I look into your eyes
Save me, oh, I'm gonna save me
Far away from all the crazy lies

Hear the rumble
Hear my voice

Undo my sad
Undo what hurts so bad
Undo my pain
Gonna get out, through the rain
I know that I am over you
At last I know what I should do
Undo my sad

Undo my sad
Undo what hurts so bad
Undo my pain
Gonna get out, through the rain
I know that I am over you
At last I know what I should do
Undo my sad

My sad love
Undo"

[Il devrait y avoir un GIF ou une vidéo ici. Procédez à une mise à jour de l'application maintenant pour le voir.]

"I know you've got the best intentions
Just trying to find the right words to say
I promise, I've already learned my lesson
But right now I wanna be not okay
I'm so tired, sitting here waiting
If I hear one more "Just be patient"
It's always gonna stay the same
So let me just give up
So let me just let go
If this isn't good for me
Well I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice
Or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
Can't stop these feet from sinking
And it's starting to show on me
You're staring while I'm blinking
But just don't tell me what you see
I'm so over all this bad luck
Hearing one more "Keep your head up"
Is it ever gonna change?
So let me just give up
So let me just let go
If this isn't good for me
Well I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice
Or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
Yeah, you don't know what it's like
Don't look at me like that
Just like you understand
Don't try to pull me back
Let me just give up
Let me just let go
If this isn't good for me
Well I don't wanna know
Let me just stop trying
Let me just stop fighting
I don't want your good advice
Or reasons why I'm alright
You don't know what it's like
Yeah, you don't know what it's like
You don't know
You don't know
You don't know
Yeah, you don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
Yeah, You don't know
You don't know
You don't know what it's like
Yeah, you don't know what it's like"

[Il devrait y avoir un GIF ou une vidéo ici. Procédez à une mise à jour de l'application maintenant pour le voir.]

"Devant les gens qu'elle aime, elle ne laisse rien paraître
Cachant sa détresse pour éviter que son entourage s'inquiète
Toujours là pour son frère, son père et sa mère
Elle fait tout pour ses proches mais ils ne font rien pour elle
Un gros manque d'attention, d'affection sous tension
Dur d'y croire mais sa joie de vivre est un mensonge
Ignorant son mal être les gens se confient à elle
Facile de conseiller les autres
Dur de se conseiller sois-même
À force d'encaisser, son caractère se forge
Énormément de faiblesses, mais l'allure d'une femme forte
Allongée dans son lit, les yeux fermés elle cogite
Personne à ses côtés, ses espoirs on pris la fuite
Beaucoup de problèmes personnels mais tellement de problèmes de famille
Personne à qui parler? Pas le choix elle garde le sourire
Dur de faire semblant
Pour garder la foi, elle se dit que c'est qu'une question de temps
Dans son regard tu peux lire, tu crois qu'elle va bien
Elle garde le sourire, mais au fond elle a mal
Elle a mal
Elle joue un rôle jour et nuit
Contrôle sa détresse, en gros elle subit
Car au fond elle a mal
Elle a mal
L'amour ne lui sourit pas
Elle manque de chance et de confiance
Déçue à chaque fois
Elle ne croit plus aux belles paroles ni aux histoires de love
Elle a trop donné mais eux ne voulaient que son corps
S'étant fait avoir, aujourd'hui trop méfiante
Quand un homme lui parle, elle fait semblant d'entendre
Renfermée sur sois-même, peur du regard des gens
Son moment préféré, le soir seule dans sa chambre
Même face au miroir, elle retient ses larmes
Se dit qu'il y a pire qu'elle, mais aimerait tant tirer l'alarme
Devenu insomniaque, entre cauchemars et idées noires
Perdue dans un brouillard entre vertige et crise d'angoisse
Elle n'arrive plus à s'en sortir au bord du gouffre elle veut sauter
La situation s'empire qui est-ce qui pourrait la sauver?
Elle veut tout stopper ce soir, pour elle s'en ai trop
N'est-il pas trop tard, va-t-elle partir trop tôt?
Dans son regard tu peux lire, tu crois qu'elle va bien
Elle garde le sourire mais au fond elle a mal
Elle a mal
Elle joue un rôle jour et nuit, contrôle sa détresse
En gros elle subit, car au fond elle a mal
Elle a mal
Les plus drôles sont souvent les plus malheureux
Apparence, apparence
Elle dira que ça va bien pour éviter qu'on la questionne
À force de vouloir rester seule, sans s'en rendre compte elle s'emprisonne
Personne la voit, personne l'entend
Pas du genre à crier "au secours"
Elle se dit qu'hier est loin et que demain est un autre jour
Dans son regard tu peux lire, tu crois qu'elle va bien
Elle garde le sourire mais au fond elle a mal
Elle a mal
Elle joue un rôle jour et nuit
Contrôle sa détresse, en gros elle subit
Car au fond elle a mal
Elle a mal"

Voilà....