So like, I got this grandma...she takes care of me cuz my mama no want me. She's kind of abusive verbally and hates the gays(sigh...) so I would go to the uhm school councellor since she wont get me one!!! and that then transpired into the CAS/CPS(idfk what their called..) coming to my house. I was scared, petrified even, since I have rlly bad anxiety, cuz I knew when I got home she was going to yell at me and make me feel like shit.

When I got home that lady was there (We'll call her C since her name starts with that), they were talking and my grandma was....happy? Like unusally happy and they were talking and talking about what me and C discussed at school. And at the right time..I guess.. I hesitanetly told her I was trans and wanted to go by Charlie(DONT GO BY THAT ANYMORE..) and my pronouns we he/him (If i said they/them my other prns that would be seen as 'unusual' she'd yell at me or smth) and she's like "Olkat!!! I support u<333" and I was shocked but also happy..even if it was just an act.

Anyway after that days she's been guilt tripping me into make me feel bad about what I did saying "You should be ashamed of yourself for saying these kinds of things to people!!" and "Nop one needs to know what goes on at home". She also refuses to call me by masc terms or even my nickname (CC)..like gurl...and she's still the same after everything. She hasn't changed, and hey I won't force her too..I just hopes she knows it drains me mentally and physically and that it also makes the home envuronment..unsafe in a way.

So yaaaa uh, there's more to this but I want 2 put it in a separete vent.