Alright...so I haven't been posting much on this in awhile..which may seem like a good thing to people..but it kinda is Ig?...But not really.







So..not alot of my friends have been trying to interact with me ever since school ended except 4 ONE person, which is my super best friend...which makes me happy n stuff but like..its still kinda upsetting 2 me cuz if I don't talk to ppl 4 months n stuff I feel like they don't like me anymore or dont want to be friends anymore, and it could just be me overthinking(which I do ALOT) but like..I dunno they don't even bother 2 reach out...and I feel like some of my other friends r ignporing me on purpose..but idk I don't want to bother them by texting them r u there n stuff cuz then I feel like they'd get mad at me so the convo just dies there...that also happens if I don't respond, which I do alot, but I do that bcuz when idk how to respond to something I seem dry...I hate how I'm like this. 


And I hate how my emotions are scrambled all over the place, sometimes I'm happy one second then the rest I feel like shit, it can go on for hours, days, maybe even MONTHS..and I dunno why...and then thinking abt that 1 person who will prolly not like me like that kinda makes it worse when having to deal with the rest of the shit in my life..I'm done..tired..and when I'm like this I shut every1 out or at least kinda do...and isolate myself because I feel like everyone is too good for me..friends, crushes/Squishes (Squishes is like a platonic crush or smth) and some of my family..I can't deal with this anymore I just want to actually be happy for a long period of time just for ONCE...but like the wtvr beings don't want that, they want me to be miserable as FUCK...and I may probably just be overexadorating...(If u try to correct me abt this spelling mistake rn I will be upset.) and..that I'm probably just faking it for attention...I'm probably just 'fine'..even if I dont feel like it...


I also will probably not post anything on any of my other books like the regretevator one and the one that was supposed to be started up at the end of this month..I'm just so tired...I'm disgusted at myself to be honest.

You might not really hear from me for a while..or who knows.

I'm sorry everyone...