^^ the left picture is a little bit before I started my diet, the right is from last night 5/19/18

So for the past 6 months(November-now), I have been on a low carb diet (kito) which is pretty much limiting my intake of grain and sugars.

It started one night I was out with my mom and we both just got a pint size ice cream of Ben and Jerry's and my mom says to me, "Starting tomorrow, we're going on a low carb diet" All I say in return is "Okay" because we've been on this cycle before—wanna lose diet, a week goes by, back to eating junk. I thought it was going to be exactly like that, although I've been struggling to be comfortable in my own skin. So I wanted to get at a place where I was comfortable, not because to be less ugly-but healthier.

So, starting off on the diet, my weight was at 180 pounds, size Large-XLarge in shirts, size 15 in pants, size 15 in dresses and I was going to have one cheat a month. Let me make it clear I never pictured myself ever being 180. When I was younger, I was very skinny because I was taking medicine that didnt make me wanna eat. (YOU COULD SEE MY BONES GUYS)

^Me in 6th grade for a 80's day at school

Once I hit 7th grade(mostly 8th) the weight gain was evident. And when I moved away last year to my new environment, I played sports so I didn't care what I ate. Now moving BACK to where I left off, I wanted to make a change.

The first few weeks were one of the hardest. I was craving the bread and sugar and I was surrounded by people(my own siblings) whom were so tiny that they could eat anything but not gain a pound.

^Me and my sisters 2 years ago
(Left: Leah-8 years old
Center: Carolyn-16 years old)

It made me very self conscious, envious that my body couldn't be the same as theirs and it made me want to give up a few times. However, I quickly found little results here and there and I decided that SOMETHING was working and to pursue staying on it.

As months went by, I continued to eat the things I was only allowed to eat(meat, berries, veggies) and stayed strict even after having a cheat day out of the month. I loved what I was seeing! I was losing weight, my waist was shrinking to the point my pants were falling off me. My friends continuously asked me "So how long are you on this for?" And I didn't have a complete answer. I mean, I'd love to eat normally again but I wanted to see more results (I was probably 165 at this point). So I stuck with it.

I found quickly my cloths beginning to look baggy on me and when I went to my usual visit to the mall to try on dresses for fun I saw my sizes drop. When I walked to my classes at school, I had to literally hold up my pants as I was walking! So my mom got me new pants and later these began to feel lose!

You can see how much my body was losing weight, but sadly seeing myself lose it, I still felt big. Now you may think, "Grace dont turn this into an eating disorder!" Im not. Its just hard when everyone around you is naturally skinny when you aren't, its just part of being a teen tbh.

Anyways, then I reached my goal weight 150 which is my weight still and I feel great! I am doing track and that is helping me nit just grow thinner but become stronger. I even did the one thing I never thought Id do, instead of leggings, im wearing shorts for gym class! I havent done that in years! Now i have jean shorts, I might get some rompers and Im going to be getting new shirts as well!

Get this: For choir in the beginning of the year, we had to order dresses for concerts and stuff throughout the year. But it wasnt normal, they had to measure us as accurate as possible so it was supposed to be tight. Recently, I had a spring concert and I hadnt worn my dress for a few months so when I put it on, IT WAS EXTREMELY LOOSE like it wasnt even supporting anything, it was just hanging from my shoulders. It was insane. That showed me how much I actually lost.

Now, I am 30 pounds lighter, my dress size is now an 11-9, my pants size are 11-9 and my shirt size is medium-small. I feel these past few months have made a drastic change in my food intake and I can see how important it is to watch what you eat. But now I'm beginning to learn it really doesn't matter the size I am or anyone, because I know what I am in God's eyes.

Psalm 139:14 - LORD I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made .

This means, sure I'll have days where I doubt myself, think that I'm ugly and other loads of crap, but I remember that God made us special and perfect in his image. I will continue to be diligent to the diet, I may be more flexible but I will make sure to eat right and remember that I'm beautiful no matter what😊💗

Love you all💗💗