Dear friends,
I am having so many thoughts...

Why can't people seen to understand my Gender is valid and real... I often doubt I am valid and many times I think I've just made it up...

I'm scared because although my cousin has been supportive of my sexuality, I don't know what she'll think of my Gender identity...
What if she outs me to my entire mother's side of the family?

I think I should just stay in the closet...
But I don't wanna be in the closet anymore.

Why can't I just look and sound like a man?
Why do I feel guilty?
Why do I want to rot away?

Would anyone care if I starved? I always feel like I want to but I would be more of a burden.
I wish I felt right in my body, I wish I didn't feel like I had to eat less.

I JUST WANT TO BE MYSELF AND NOT BE JUDGED!!!
I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO USE THE RIGHT PRONOUNS AND THE RIGHT NAME I WANT TO BE CALLED!!!
I WANT, I want someone to understand....

God, don't I sound pathetic? Sorry, I'll leave...

Bye,
Allen Kitchen, (he/him)