lafz to milte nahin izhaar-e-mahsusat ko
ab wo samjhen ya na samjhen mere dil ki baat ko

dar-haqiqat tur par musa ko sujhi hi nahin
warna aankhen jazb kar letin tajalliyat ko

meri aage se hata lo ya to ye mubham kitab
ya palaTne do mujhe auraq-e-maujudat ko

hae mat puchho mariz-e-gham ki kaifiyat-e-karb
nind kya ghaflat si ho jati hi pichhli raat ko

meri aahon mein ba-qaul un ke agar taqat nahin
charkh se phir kyun sitare Tutte hain raat ko

pahle to dil mein KHuda jaane kidhar se aa chhupe
phir sitam ye hai ubhaara mere mahsusat ko

tak raha hai phir koi hasrat se su-e-asman
phir kahin jazba na aa jae tajalliyat ko

munh andhere jab jahan sota hai mad-hoshi ki nind
main suna karta hun saz-e-ruh ke naghmat ko

chandni ho ya andheri mujh ko 'talib' wasta
main to aafat hi samajhta hun hamesha raat ko 

-Taliba Baghpati

Ever had the feeling of falling in a dream. The one where you keep on falling, but there is no end to it. And you keep on screaming but no sound comes out your throat. This is what Arisha was feeling in the 2 days leading up to her engagement with Zoraiz. 

How was this happening? It was supposed to be a happy day in every girl's life, but Arisha did not know why she had this sinking feeling in her stomach. 

It was as if she was standing back and witnessing someone else's life. She wanted to say something anything really. Demand her father for explanations, but her words and questions died in her mind never finding a voice. 

Days blended into nights. Turns out when you have two days to prepare for an engagement you really have no time to even take in and process the event properly. 

Apparently, according to the Indian society, the look of the bride to be was much more important that her sanity and mental peace. 

It was whirlwind of clothes for Arisha, of opinions being asked but never heard or considered. She was to be a live mannequin, one who smiles, like she should, shows manners, but has no mind of her own. At least this what she got from all the older much-experienced females members of the party, had been appointed to help her. 

Arisha was in shock. Not at getting engaged, or even the event being so sudden. No, she was shocked at the petty mindset of these women who were leading members of her father's party. Leading in a capacity that was so influential and yet with such power at their hands they have such a narrow sight! Arisha could not help but went all this to her sisters one night before the engagement. 

She should have been worrying about not getting enough sleep, lest she have deep dark circles. But Arisha was not like any other young lady her age. 

So even though the next evening was to be her engagement, she was ranting about the ladies of the party and their shallow mindedness. 

"They are all educated women, I mean they are supposed to be bold and leaders, a role model for women of this city and state if not the country. And yet they all were so docile, so narrow-minded and backward thinkers." Arisha ranted while pacing up down the width of her room with Inaya and Maira sitting and watching her pace left to right. 

Her anger and frustration could be seen in her pacing, in the way her fist curled in anger. As she would pick a new topic her hands gestures to increases, pointing to no, but to everyone, " they want me to be like them, smile and wave as if I am a Doll. I am not a Doll." Arisha was livid with her hands up in the air, and her eyes shining of fury. 

"But you look like one Api," Inaya said, being too young to get where Arisha was coming from she was sweet and unburdened by the societies clutches, Arisha had made sure of it. And will continue to make it so. 

Maira, on the other hand, knew very well what Arisha was going through, " I know what you mean, but you can not completely change their mindset in a matter of days, Api" Maira was the one who went to most party functions so, she in sense had seen the conditions of the female members as well their positions. 

"I do not want them to change, I want them to stop being so lowly thinkers, and be the women that represent us, in a manner with uplifts us, not makes us showpieces, but to make women a force which brings about change in the society Maira. They have that Power and they throw it away," Arisha was shaking with an uncontained frustration one which she could only voice to her sisters behind closed doors. 

The three Siddiqui sisters were so busy that they did not notice the Razdan brother enter the room nor when they stood and listened to at the very least half of the rant. 

It was Zayaan who made broke Arisha's rant by clapping, all the three girls turned towards the sound. 

They were all horrified to see the two Razdan brothers standing there in all their glory and the horror of the situation just increased when they realised that they must have heard their opinions. 

Zayaan again one being the more talkative of both the brothers said," Well as much as I would love to hear Bhabhi's ideology, you two lovely ladies have been summoned downstairs," Zayaan pointed at both Maira and Inaya, both of whom quickly got up and left their wide-eyed, and horrified sister alone with her groom-to-be. 

Arisha was not looking at Zoraiz while Zoraiz had eyes only on Arisha. Arisha thought that she will be reprimanded, for even voicing these thoughts to her sisters. But such reprimand came her way.

"I came to say that, the nikah will be next year. I have my father's word on it." Zoraiz said in a calm cool manner, his face never giving way to any of his thoughts. 

Arisha just nodded at him.

"While I value thoughts and open-minded people, I do not like being so loud, neither do I like being ignored," Zoraiz said his politician face still on, but his eyes gave away his frustration maybe? 

There it was, the reprimand she knew was coming her way. "Next time I do not care where you are, in what class, or on what rant you are on If I call I expect you to pick the phone up in no more than two rings. I do not like to be kept waiting," Zoraiz's true anger reflected in the way his voice an octave lower than his normally calm voice.

Arisha was not looking at him, she was looking at everywhere but at him.

Zoraiz fists curled when she just nodded to his statement, not wanting to aggravate him further. Coincidently she did aggravate him further with the non-responsiveness. 

Zoraiz walked towards and stood a foot away from her. Using his long index finger he lifted Arisha's chin as to have her eyes at his eye level, and said, in a voice cold enough to freeze over even the Ecuador at the equator, " Look at me when I am talking to you," 

Arisha was for the first time facing anyone so closely, so intimately. She was for the first time meeting the Zoraiz Razdan the politician, She now knew why he was known as ruthless in the political networks. 

"Till yesterday, we were acquaintances, but from tomorrow you will be my fiance. That means you will behave a certain way. You can be as much proactive politically as you want, But I will not tolerate you disrespecting me, or my family at any cost. Nor will I tolerate being made a fool of in the political communities. So say what you have to say, be a voice for women, but in a manner that befits a Razdan," Zoraiz voice had a hard edge to it, which for a girl of Arisha's age was a nightmare. 

Even her father had never talked to her in such a manner, not even if he was scolding her indirectly. A girl who had been protected her whole life was now facing the realities of this world. The ruthlessness, and narrowminded it can show you. 

Arisha, still help his gaze, and replied, with soft but strong, " Yes," 

Zoraiz let his finger drop from her chin and stepped back two steps. " Come down everyone is waiting for you. You have to select an engagement ring now," Arisha again replies with a meek yes. 

Zoraiz's eyes search Arisha for some sort of reaction to his behaviour, any reaction, but nothing happens she just stands tall never letting her emotions show. The only indication that had been affected was the way her right hand was clutching her Dupatta in dead grip, which was relaxed now. 

Zoraiz had not meant to snap at her like that but he was not in a mindset to explain anything, Neither did he owe her the explanation to her. 

He leaves the room thinking that Arisha will be arriving soon. 

As soon as Zoraiz walks out of Arisha lets a sob rip out of her and she lets the tears spill down her face. Her hand comes to her stomach to settle the dread that has filled her, and her other hands come up to her mouth to stop any sound of her crying escape her throat. 

Steadying her self Arisha takes a moment a concentrates to regulate her breathing.  She goes to her bathroom and splashes cold water on her face. She could not be seen as weak especially not by Zoraiz Razdan. 

Getting a hold of her emotions and locking them up in her mind she puts her composure back on. 

Descending the stairs she watches both the Razdan family and Siddiqui Family, her family talking and smiling. Her father looked relaxed as if this was the way to ease all the worries of the world. 

Her youngest sister was laughing at something Zayaan had said, along with his mother. Zoraiz had his eyes on her, his intense, yet cold eyes. Eyes which only minutes ago were staring into her very soul, making it shiver in fear. Eyes which still were peering at her, trying to gauge her thoughts. She looked away from him, and his damn eyes. 

swallowing for a deep breath she put a smile on her face. She did it with ease. Considering she had been doing a fake I-am-absolutely-fine smile since as long as she could remember, no one questioned the slight tremor in her fingers or the fact that she would flinch slightly whenever Zoraiz spoke. 

They asked for her opinion on the rings which were laid in front of her, but all she could see were shackles, which were meant to chain her. to keep her a prisoner in her own mind, a showpiece. 

She let her Mother-in-law and her sisters decide, even though a ring did catch her attention. A delicate ring with a leaf-like vine which held a small but beautiful diamond. She did not voice her opinion though, still shaken from the encounter she just had Arisha kept to herself most of the time. 

Speaking when spoken to and smiling and nodding along with everyone, even though inside her mind was a hurricane which was threatening to ripe her thoughts apart. 

The evening went on and both the families had dinner. All the while Arisha could not focus, not when her sisters talked and joked, not when there was a discussion on the ongoing political scene. 

Finally, the evening came to an end, and everyone bid each a good night. Arisha all but ran to her room after making a lame excuse that no one was really paying attention to. 

Coming to her room Arisha looked at the place she had just witnessed Zoraiz as he is, his political face. Maybe his true self. 

As the scene replayed in front of her eyes Arisha had a sudden panic rise in her, because this would be her life forever. She wanted almost marched to her father and demanded him to cancel the engagement. 

Almost. 

She also remembered how relaxed her father had been, how happy her sisters had looked, how her father had actually talked to Inaya. She remembered that it was the first time in more than a decade that her family had been a family together. 

She was in a dilemma, her family was happy for once, and on the other hand, she knew that this marriage would possibly be the end of her freedom. 

She looked around her room looking for answers in the cold empty space before her as if the void of her room would tell her how to stop this void take place into her heart. 

Her eyes came to rest on her mother's picture, she did not when her feet carried her to photo frame, but she did pick it up and stared at it. Her mother had wanted to be a dancer, a professional dancer and open a classical dancing academy, but she did not get the chance because she chose to marry her father, for the sake of her family. 

Arisha knew in that one moment what she had to do, Mubly her feet took her back to her bed, where she laid down clutching onto her mothers Photograph, as she cried her heart out, in silence. 

Just the tears that flowed down her eyes and on to the sheets of her bed witnessed the breaking of Arisha Sheikh. No voice came out her mouth, no words could take her side, just her silent tears. 

So a new chapter, what say guys?