+...The cover does NOT belong to me...+

Rosalin01 wanted to inform that this book is "based on a new region".

This book is currently NOT completed.

*Spoilers Ahead*

Summary: Two twin siblings are excited to finally go out on their own Pokemon journey. Neliel, the oldest of the two, has dreams of being a contest star. Her younger brother, William (Will), has a dream of making the big leagues and becoming the region champion. Both don't know what's in store for each other, but they will work hard in getting there. However, no one said it would be easy...

Alright. Onto the review portion.

First I would like to address about the new region. I really love what you've decided to do with this. Well, so far at least. There are many new things that you introduced to this region that make it unique. Preferably near the beginning of the story.

At the beginning of the story, the professor of the region (Professor Centra) gives the newbie trainer a Pokeball and tells them to go out into the fields of the laboratory to catch their own Pokemon. This is a very unique idea. Instead of the generic grass/fire/water type starters per region as the only choice of starters (except for certain games in the Pokemon franchise), the newbie can choose any Pokemon he/she would like. Speaking of which, I have a question.

How did William find a shiny Buizel--of all Pokemon--by a river? Did anyone else notice that Buizel or did it just suddenly appear in front of William?

Another quick question: You had mentioned that this new PokeDex was "better than all the rest because it's the seventh one." Why is that? Is it because it was perfected enough that it can surpass the rest of the the PokeDex's?

Onto the more negative points I noted.

First things first, it would be some minor time skips. Usually, throughout your stories, you mention there is going to be a timeskip coming up. You never seemed to mention anything throughout the story. Even though these are minor time skips, you really don't need to worry at all about these.

Another point is that you seem to slightly blend the twins together, personality wise. At times, it would be fairly easy to determine which one was speaking, but other times it would be fairly complicated. What seemed to save you from completely blending the characters together was the differences they both have separately. For instance, William wants to become the champion (so he thinks more on the lines of battle), compared to his sister. His sister, Neliel, wants to do contests, so she looks at the beauty of things.

An interesting point, though it isn't bad, is the William's rival character in this story. For some reason, I feel like Cinna is a lot like Silver (your rival in Gold/Silver/HG/SS). He trains for power, has a lot of aggression for some reason, and is a total douchebag. After I thought of that point, I was thinking about something... By any chance, is Cinna related (in any way) to the antagonist team of this region--whether it's an admin or the boss him/herself?

Another interesting point I have seen was you had put in the aspect of a new legendary Pokemon. Salerneo was it? Well, it's unique that it was portrayed as a "guardian of the forest". AKA: The alpha of all the legendary Pokemon that are also "guardians of the forests".

A reoccurring problem that I noticed a lot throughout this story was you use a lot of "..."s. After a while, it gets quite annoying. In your story, it is often used as long, extensive pauses after every sentence or two. Most of the time it isn't even needed.

Overall, you did well on this story. Especially since this was a new region and all.

By any chance, do you have a layout of what this new region is? As well as the name for the region?

Rating: 7/10

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/68277887-william-and-neliel-sibling-rivalry

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