+...The cover does NOT belong to me...+

Rosalin01 wanted me to notify that this fanfiction is based off of the anime "Fairy Tail".

This book is completed.

*Spoilers Ahead*

Summary: Deceros Sions is the new wizard in the Fairy Tail guild in Fiore. Along with his magic books, he can summon creatures that can both physically and mentally make him stronger, as well as weaker. One day, he meets a strange girl with the ability to control ice and snow. Unfortunately, because of this encounter, Deceros, the girl, and the rest of the Fairy Tail guild involve themselves into an occurring problem they never knew existed until it was too late.

Alright, there's where the review begins.

I have to apologize in advance... I haven't fully watched Fairy Tail yet, so this review may not fully be up to its full potential detail wise. It may also mean that I may be off on a few things. So, I'm going to start off with some points that I am certain of.

When I had read through this story, I had noticed that some of the characters seemed to be different from the anime. Well, at least slightly. In other words, you seemed to have altered some of the characters slightly. I'm not sure if you were attempting to do that or not. Again, I really don't know the characters fully enough to make a sure 100% in character. Heck, I sometimes can't manage to keep characters 100% in character. From what you told me, you haven't gotten far through Fairy Tail at the point of writing this fanfiction. From knowing a bit more than me, you did a lot better than I could do when only knowing a few details about something like that.

A common problem that I have seen through not just this work, but your other work Pokemon: The Story of Power the Floatzel was that the paragraphs were too long and consisted with long, hard-to-read run-on sentences. Fortunately, I did get what you were saying with the information presented in your paragraphs. However, it also leaves me to my next point.

Your chapters have details; a lot more than some of your stories. I feel as though you could use a little bit more. You could describe a character by their emotions/feelings, their scenery, etc. It seems like you use some of these details enough, but you could use some of these options to help if you ever decided to write something similar to this in the future.

Now I'll move onto some of the characters you created.

First, I'll talk about Deceros, the main character. Deceros seems to be a good character, except I felt there were a few things that left me confused. First of all, he has usage of not just his wizarding books, but he also can use personal magic? I wasn't sure if wizards were able to do that... Well, then again, I hardly know enough to push a 100% accurate description of what a wizard in Fairy Tail should be. Anyway, it seemed that this character seems slightly over-powered at the beginning, then becomes slightly weak near the end. It's fine that you did that with your character; with having character development and all; but why did you decide to have your character this powerful at first? Was he originally trained by another power before he came to the Fairy Tail guild in Fiore?

Onto another one of your characters...

Meice. Well, where do I want to begin with her...? Oh, I got an idea. Her powers.... At first, I instantly thought of Elsa from Frozen. Not that it's bad that I thought that, but that's the first connection I saw towards this character. Especially at the part where she can't control her powers and she all but injures someone. I felt that was an alright decision to create her like this, but I felt awfully confused when I had read further along in the story. You had put it that Meice was able to control her powers after a spirit had taken full control of her body seemed to send me into a state of confusion. How is it that she can control her powers as quickly as that? If she can't control her powers for awhile, then why is she then sent along with them on their first mission? Also, if Ezra didn't want her to come with them (for safety precautions) then how come two sentences later Ezra was fine with her coming?

Meice's character, in general, seemed to jump from being a partially shy girl to a person with a lot of energy and spunk. She seemed to change the most during the time of the pre-tournament. I really don't know how the change came so quickly, but it seemed to slightly work in your favor. I really didn't find too many problems with your decision. I'm curious as to why you decided to change her personality almost a complete 180 when in the battle tournament. Especially when I have always gotten a vibe from Meice that she isn't the battling type. Well, she would battle if she had to, but it wouldn't be her favorite thing in the world to do.

I'm now going to move onto the main antagonist group: Group Meyham. First of all, I did notice that they had quite a bit of power for an antagonist group, so good job with that. However, there was something with that I didn't understand. When first introduced, they almost instantly give their entire plan and entire reasoning behind it in one long paragraph. To me, it seemed to ruin the group for me. I do find the group interesting, but I feel that I lost most of the entertaining conclusion because I knew almost all the details before the final chapters came. If you would have climatically introduced this group and made them come in earlier, I feel that would have worked more in your favor. You could have gradually built suspense between this group and Fairy Tail by slowly piecing together their intentions. It would leave your audience with a bit of thinking and guessing throughout the story. It may even help you with processing what you want done.

So, I'm going to end off on some points that I noticed. They all left me confused, so you're going to have to explain them to me; if you don't mind, of course.

1) When you mentioned around the time of Chapter 26, you had put that Deceros doesn't hate Laxus "in fact he never disliked him anyway." I've always picked up, throughout the story, that Deceros hated Laxus and vice versa. How is it that Deceros didn't hate Laxus?

2) When Meice was hiding in the forest, along with "the forest lady", she found it too dangerous to leave the forest as it could possibly put her friends in danger. So, even though Group Meyham is still out there and after her, she is fine to leave the forest for the day to see her friends? This never made sense to me.... If you don't want to put your friends in danger (and you know you have a 'target' on your back that was put there by the main antagonist group) then simply don't go to them... It's both a reckless and stupid decision on her part. It also didn't make matters easier when "the forest lady" permitted it to occur.

3) Deceros summons creatures through his "normal" and "darker" books. I never quite caught what some of those creatures were. I know that Zedrava is a dragon. I'm not sure what "the Leviathan" is, but it had been mentioned as either a large whale or a large serpent (which are two separate/different creatures). So, what are the other creatures? None, other than the two above, are mentioned as to what they are actually, species wise.   

Rating: 6/10

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/58490529-the-new-wizard-in-town-a-fairytail-fanfiction

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