Rosalin01 wanted a rereview of their story "Power the Floatzel". They have made notice that numerous edits were done and a lot of the story was rewritten. I will be going over parts that had caused problems before and how it is now. AKA: I'm comparing both versions all over again...

To add to the fun, when I finally got done when this review, my computer decided to lag and I accidentally deleted everything.

Since this is a re-review, I don't need to add in a summary.

So, let's get right to the review!

Starting off with grammar. It seems to be a bit better than before. It doesn't appear to have major issues, but you should probably go through it again. Trust me when I say this: it is better than before. A common error, around grammar especially, is you still seem to add way too many "..." after every few sentences. I also noticed that you seem to, every so often, misspell Pokemon names. For instance in chapter 2, you spelled "Shelldar" instead of Shellder.

One problem I've noticed quite often when you start introducing a character that comes in at some point during the story, you always seem to make some type of point that gives you a vibe that a young child was writing this story. It has gotten to the point that it bugs me a lot.

It still seems that your chapters are a bit short throughout the story, but that's something I nitpick about in my writing quite often.

Your characters seem a bit better than they were before. The characters seem to be written a bit better, but still needs work. I'm fine with the way the characters in this story are going, but it still need work. Their general speech patterns are almost copied from each other. In a way, this can make the characters seem bland and unimportant. From personal experience, it turns a lot of people off from a book.

I'm not going to lie to you about this, Rosalin01, but this book was a very painful read. I didn't really enjoy it and I often saw more problems than progress. Don't get me wrong--this book has a lot potential, but it's not good at the moment. I only took glimpses around different chapters and I saw some improvements, but a lot of errors.

A way I would suggest to fix this would be getting someone to take the time to personally look over and read your book. Or, to save some time, you can study what you are intending on writing about and take your time when writing it. Your writing can get better, but you need to put the time and effort into fixing and presenting the information in an effective manner that reflects who you are as a writer.

I'm sorry if this ruined your day, but I felt the need to address it.