+...The cover does NOT belong to me...+

Hey, everybody! This is currently an uncompleted story that is rated Mature. (Which means 16-18+)

Those who do not follow under that age restriction should not read Mature content. Unless if you want to and are completely ignoring me about the warning, be my guest and read it.

Rosalin01 wanted to inform that there is "slight yaoi" in this book. [Boy x Boy = Yaoi]

This book is currently NOT completed.

*Spoilers Ahead*

Summary: A very timid Floatzel named Prower gains an unlikely friendship with a bold Zangoose named Getsu. The duo's option, well Getsu's option, is to join in a local PokeGuild run by an Abomasnow. After getting to know not just their new teammates, but themselves better, different feelings start to overcome them.... And friendship may turn into something... A little bit more than that.

Alright, there's the review portion!

I seemed to notice there was a slight hint of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time, Darkness and Sky in the storyline. Especially near the beginning. I'm not sure if that's what you were attempting with this, but I really liked it. Specifically with having the characteristics of Abomasnow being similar to Wigglytuff and Zigzagoon (Ziggi) being similar to Chatot. It created a lot of instant flashbacks of playing those games a few years ago. It was really neat!

I like where you are going with this story; not going to lie to you. I feel that this story needs a bit of help with a few things. So I'm going to go over the negative points about this story, as well as how to fix those points and, hopefully, make them a little better.

To start things off, I noticed that most (if not all) sentences were run-on sentences. Meaning that instead of just one simple sentence, you tend to have it that an entire paragraph is one huge sentence. You might want to check back through your story and take some time to re-edit.

Detail throughout the story was very minimal. Even with the "extra amount of detail". I could hardly notice a difference with the detailed-ness. To be completely honest, it left me confused at some spots.

Speaking on the lines of "it left me confused at some spots", I had a hard time keeping track of where I was in the story. It seemed to jump around a lot. It also didn't help much with having so many unplanned time skips. Those time skips seem to cause more of a distraction than it is more impact. Meaning by, these time skips don't really help this story. If anything, it causes a bit of a downfall to the flow of a story; it makes the flow choppy.

Overall, these fairly common errors can be prevented by checking over your work numerous times. It doesn't hurt to have an editor, as I have one myself, or use an online source to check over your work. Either option doesn't hurt.

I'm not sure if this is a negative or not, but it seems most of the characters have drastic personality change at times. For instance, it seems that, at first, Getsu was very bold and stand-offish. Then, after a paragraph or two later, he is smiling and laughing. It really doesn't make sense and, if anything, seems to slightly confuse me.

One noticeable hint of drastic character change is once Prower started having, what I like to call, "Sex dreams". He seems to become more confident because of those dreams, not because of Getsu or the impact of his teammates. And, let me tell you, his personality change happened so quickly, it scared me. Usually very timid people take years to finally break out of their inner shell. (Heck, it took me 6 years to get over my timidness)... It seemed to take Prower less than a week, which is extremely unrealistic. I mean--the same thing happened with Atlas and he's more timid than Prower! It also happened in less time than Prower, so that's what confuses me.

Alright... Onto the sex scenes...

They were very quick and hardly detailed. Then again, I can't write a lemon (Sex fanfic) at all, so I'll give you credit for this feat. I have yet to even have the guts to attempt to write something as intimate as that. Overall, they don't seem bad at all. Though, to be honest, I cringed every few chapters, where I would witness reading another sex scene. I don't mind reading that kind of stuff, but I personally feel that half the book shouldn't just be dedicated to writing about Prower's "Sex dreams" or even Atlas' own "Sex dreams".

I feel that I have given you a lot of negative feedback, so I am going to ask you a few questions to see if that helps change the negative mood...

1) For one thing, why did you choose for their first mission to be a play? Not just any play but a "Prince and Princess" one...?

2) Why did you want both Mega and Primal evolution for the PokeGuild leaders?

3) Did you create a new region for this story? It was hard to grasp, but I managed to pull it out of the text. (Example of a Place: Celestial Park)  

Rating: 5.5/10

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/60115896-pok%C3%A9mon-the-story-of-prower-the-floatzel

(Just copy and paste the link into a "New Tab" to access the story)