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I just don't understand

Why does everything think is me as a bad person

Most of the people have never even met me and have jumped to that conclusion

What has people said to have people think that way about me?

All I have been is being the perfect person and friend I can be

Yes I mess up, but I'm human, cut me some slack

I always apologize, even when I don't need to

It is just in me to make everything right and be the buffer person

And yet it comes to bite me, no good deed ever goes unpunished, and I am sadly just learning that now.

You don't know how damaging that is to me, a person whose social anxiety is really messed up in the past few months.

I do miss being happy and smiley.

I only try and pretend for everyone else, to make them happy, because apparently that is all they ever want is for me to stop being so sad.

I have found out it is better to keep to yourself, then you won't be offended or hurt by people's words, so, that is what I have been doing and sometimes when I do spill, I do regret it and it makes me become a hermit once again

Is it really to much to ask to be treated like I treat you? Because it is beginning to seem that as time goes on.

What is wrong with wanting everyone to read my books, support me in writing, love my ocs, make all sorts of stuff for them, give shout outs for me, make me into a character into your book, answer my pms?

Apparently it is a crime

A crime for me to want what everyone else is having, now selfish of me, huh?

And do not tell me I am doing this just for attention, if I really wanted attention wouldn't I make up some grand story about how I almost died or something?

All I want is to be treated with love and respect, like I treat everyone else.

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For once I am finally being honest about my feelings, so, please, respect them and don't try and tell me what to do with my emotions

I am not mean or rude so please stop saying I am, because it's not true at all, it is a lie and it hurts me greatly, if only you knew how much it hurt for me to hear those words

Just respect how I feel and leave it be if you want to write something that will encourage me, fine, but noe something that will make me feel worse than I am.

You don't know how broken I feel, nor will you ever begin to understand how I am feeling right now.

However I have come to the conclusion faking my feelings and pretending to be happy will make everyone talk to me again and love me right?

I spend my days crying over the people in this stupid website over stupid things.

I just need people to be there for me, not to tell me what to do, because no one wants that.

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I may be having a crisis, a emotional crisis which is not good, but it is the only other explanation and being emotional and upset for this.